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Life update [concise]

Blogs > Shady Sands
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Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
December 01 2015 07:13 GMT
#1
TLers -

Feels weird writing that word since it's been forever since I've actually posted here, but... hier bin Ich, I guess.

Career updates - quit banking job, went to MBA program, got some pretty interesting offers in tech, banking, and VC. I won't bore you with the details but it's basically should I chase the tail end of a bubble and get into VC as a boom hire, or wait a few years on the sidelines before taking the plunge so that I get in with some more hair on my chin and a shot at a better investing track record.

Realized my last firm has been underpaying me, but that's a moot point now. Still respect those guys for building a great M&A shop from scratch and focusing hard on serving their clients. Lost some respect for them because their focus on keeping overhead down has clipped the firm's wings as far as its growth goes. Maybe they'll figure it out in time for the next cycle.

My startup crashed and burned, or maybe it was a fizzle... either way, there was a time in December 2012 when I was standing on my balcony in a nightgown and barefoot, thinking about ending it quickly with a jump or slowly with hypothermia. Glad those times are past now. Still gotta repay those guys who invested in me somehow. It's non-recourse debt in a LLC... the obligation is moral, not legal. None of them have asked for it which makes my desire to repay burn all that much brighter. I want to be able to look them in the eye again.

Non-career updates - met a girl on a plane in 2013. She and I have now been dating for two and a half years... she stood by me when times were lean, and once I graduate, thinking about how to treat her like a queen. How to pop the question. Getting annoyed by her fixation on rings and shiny things though. Wish her tastes were more bohemian. Not going to get hung up on it though as she's a sweet girl with killer looks and who likes to cuddle up every night as if I was the world's last teddy bear.

Thinking about SF...or LA. Or Boston. Or NYC. Or maybe I'll just stay here. Really, Chicago is like a smorgasboard of all the other American cities... the Great American City, I guess. Lincoln Park down to the Loop - like a miniature Manhattan. Rosemont and the West Suburbs: LA. Far North Side - Brentwood, or the Hamptons. West Loop, Wicker Park, Bucktown - San Fran. Hyde Park is basically a sadder version of Boston. And of course Englewood is Philly/Detroit/Baltimore.

So if you're an international student, come to Chicago in the fall and experience a sample of all 57 flavors of America. Then get the hell out... before it freezes over.

I still think of some people in my dreams. A friend of a friend jumped out of his Loop condo after his startup failed. That could have been me. That one ex who wound up getting pumped and dumped by her married boss... seems she's found a guy younger than her. I go on LinkedIn and I see the dispersion in outcomes. Between the bankers, the startup folks, the ubiquitous Hong Kong real estate specialists.... and below the girl who runs First Code Academy and the guy who runs a VC (always ranked #1 and #2 in my connections by # of views), I'm distinctly average.

Some part of me thinks that's wrong. But that's a question for the next cycle. Maybe I'll figure it out. But a bigger question is...

She wants kids. She wants two, maybe three - and a dog. This is what scares me the most. I've literally just gotten my own life on track and it was hard as fuck. I am NOT ready to put my hand on the till to guide some kid's life over the next fifteen, twenty years. About all I know is that they'll need to know how to code, to sell, to lead, and to think.

She wants them to learn ballet so they'll probably turn out well-rounded. Or totally neurotic thanks to Tiger Mom and Dad.

And then that part of me calls back... some days it tells me that this is all just a dream, that I'm twitching on the pavement below my apartment with my neurons oozing out and flash freezing in the snow. Other days it tells me that I could have been a contender.

Then I just go and make a pot of chili, curl up with a book and Pils and bowl and it's all okay.

***
Что?
deathgod6
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States5064 Posts
December 01 2015 07:45 GMT
#2
Thanks for sharing. There are definitely shades of MightyAtom in this blog.
4.0 GPA = A rank 5.0 GPA = Olympic --------- Bisu, Best, Fantasy. i ♥ oov. They can get in my BoxeR anyday.
Pandemona *
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Charlie Sheens House51493 Posts
December 01 2015 08:56 GMT
#3
Great blog, thanks for the insight and catch up :D

Kids are a cheap way to leave your own legacy on the world though without having the create an empire so thats a good way to look at it haha?

Good luck in your future!
ModeratorTeam Liquid Football Thread Guru! - Chelsea FC ♥
imre
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
France9263 Posts
December 01 2015 12:48 GMT
#4
Hey, nice to see you here
Zest fanboy.
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18869 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-12-01 13:21:47
December 01 2015 13:18 GMT
#5
Hyde Park is wayyyyyy more diverse than Boston outside of the East neighborhood
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
Kerm
Profile Joined April 2010
France467 Posts
December 01 2015 14:43 GMT
#6
Kids help to get old. Just saying.
What i know is that I know nothing - [http://twitter.com/UncleKerm]
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
December 01 2015 17:05 GMT
#7
Come to seattle and hire me please
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
NovemberstOrm
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
Canada16217 Posts
December 01 2015 21:43 GMT
#8
Good read!
5/5
Moderatorlickypiddy
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
December 02 2015 02:25 GMT
#9
On December 02 2015 02:05 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
Come to seattle and hire me please


Haha, PM me your email! I'd love to connect you with some folks.
Что?
thedeadhaji *
Profile Blog Joined January 2006
39489 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-12-02 02:46:42
December 02 2015 02:43 GMT
#10
Frankly, if you really do want to be anything in VC, don't join as an associate. You'll just be a grunt, and there's rarely any paths to partner in the same firm. All my friends who are VC associates (even at tier 1 firms) tell me that it's just a 2 year program where you're expected to leave afterwards.

Take an operating role at a high growth startup somewhere, pray that the rocketship actually takes off, and join as a partner right off the bat.

edit: I guess you could absolutely knock it out of the park as an associate like Chetan @ NEA and make it to partner, but by all accounts this is incredibly rare.
Milkis
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
5003 Posts
December 02 2015 04:25 GMT
#11
I like how we get more updates into your life over a TL blog post than meeting IRL
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
December 02 2015 05:38 GMT
#12
On December 01 2015 16:13 Shady Sands wrote:
And then that part of me calls back... some days it tells me that this is all just a dream, that I'm twitching on the pavement below my apartment with my neurons oozing out and flash freezing in the snow.

If that's true then all of us fine folks here are one of the last thoughts on your mind.

I'm supper flattered <3
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-12-03 05:29:54
December 03 2015 04:45 GMT
#13
On December 02 2015 02:05 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
Come to seattle and hire me please

Come to berkeley and hire me too please

e: wow I've just been sitting here thinking back, and this is actually a pretty massive throwback, to be honest. I'm reminded of your older blogs, and of TL as a whole and all those great times back then wtf. Damn, a lot sure has happened in these last couple of years... Just kind of crazy to look back on a timespan that's not even, what, 3 years? Did you actually start dating Tsinghua girl of Rhapsody in Blue fame (I assume this is to whom you're referring in this blog)?! Anyway, always thought your writing was really great, haha. Also this is really random, but what was your other username again? I feel like this wasn't your first account or something.

Anyway, glad to see you doing alright, man. I think I sort of looked up to you back in those naive high school days when I thought the world was my oyster and I thought was a promising young kid with a bright future ahead and all that shit. (Not that I no longer do as a result of having become less naive or anything--I was just saying) At least I can still pseudo-vicariously experience a life lived to its fullest via your blogs (or just read some great stories) . If you ever feel bad, know that your greatest failures will probably be grander than that to which my greatest successes will amount--something something being in a position to fail spectacularly something something. I think, in general, a lot of your blogs about your personal experiences, whether it was the pseudo-vignettes or the life advice, were really interesting to read and I definitely really appreciated just learning from you and reading em. ^^
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-12-03 04:51:22
December 03 2015 04:50 GMT
#14
On December 03 2015 13:45 Aerisky wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 02 2015 02:05 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
Come to seattle and hire me please

Come to berkeley and hire me too please


I already sent him my resume bruh

or you can come to seattle aeri, and he can hire both at the same time.
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-12-03 07:35:14
December 03 2015 07:27 GMT
#15
On December 03 2015 13:45 Aerisky wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 02 2015 02:05 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
Come to seattle and hire me please

Come to berkeley and hire me too please

e: wow I've just been sitting here thinking back, and this is actually a pretty massive throwback, to be honest. I'm reminded of your older blogs, and of TL as a whole and all those great times back then wtf. Damn, a lot sure has happened in these last couple of years... Just kind of crazy to look back on a timespan that's not even, what, 3 years? Did you actually start dating Tsinghua girl of Rhapsody in Blue fame (I assume this is to whom you're referring in this blog)?! Anyway, always thought your writing was really great, haha. Also this is really random, but what was your other username again? I feel like this wasn't your first account or something.

Anyway, glad to see you doing alright, man. I think I sort of looked up to you back in those naive high school days when I thought the world was my oyster and I thought was a promising young kid with a bright future ahead and all that shit. (Not that I no longer do as a result of having become less naive or anything--I was just saying) At least I can still pseudo-vicariously experience a life lived to its fullest via your blogs (or just read some great stories) . If you ever feel bad, know that your greatest failures will probably be grander than that to which my greatest successes will amount--something something being in a position to fail spectacularly something something. I think, in general, a lot of your blogs about your personal experiences, whether it was the pseudo-vignettes or the life advice, were really interesting to read and I definitely really appreciated just learning from you and reading em. ^^


Aerisky!

Remember you from 2012/13. Yeah feel free to email me - see PM. Do you know what happened to some of the other guys from then, like Azera, GMarshal?

Yes - still dating Tsinghua Girl. My other username was l0st_romantic. And don't humble yourself - we're all capable of accomplishing great things as long as we work hard and build a tribe where our hard work actually matters.
Что?
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
December 03 2015 07:31 GMT
#16
On December 02 2015 11:43 thedeadhaji wrote:
Frankly, if you really do want to be anything in VC, don't join as an associate. You'll just be a grunt, and there's rarely any paths to partner in the same firm. All my friends who are VC associates (even at tier 1 firms) tell me that it's just a 2 year program where you're expected to leave afterwards.

Take an operating role at a high growth startup somewhere, pray that the rocketship actually takes off, and join as a partner right off the bat.

edit: I guess you could absolutely knock it out of the park as an associate like Chetan @ NEA and make it to partner, but by all accounts this is incredibly rare.


hahaha. I talked to a guy at Accel who went from Asso to Partner, and he basically said it would be easier to do that in growth cap than early-stage.

It's hard to take the startup role out of b-school due to debt and cashflow issues. I really wish there was some fund willing to refinance bschool debt with startup equity.

On December 02 2015 13:25 Milkis wrote:
I like how we get more updates into your life over a TL blog post than meeting IRL


lol, one of my job offers is in Boston. How's the startup/VC scene there?
Что?
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-12-03 07:49:25
December 03 2015 07:49 GMT
#17
Azera is a weightlifting god, goes by Ehzera right now on Tl
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
thedeadhaji *
Profile Blog Joined January 2006
39489 Posts
December 03 2015 08:42 GMT
#18
On December 03 2015 16:31 Shady Sands wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 02 2015 11:43 thedeadhaji wrote:
Frankly, if you really do want to be anything in VC, don't join as an associate. You'll just be a grunt, and there's rarely any paths to partner in the same firm. All my friends who are VC associates (even at tier 1 firms) tell me that it's just a 2 year program where you're expected to leave afterwards.

Take an operating role at a high growth startup somewhere, pray that the rocketship actually takes off, and join as a partner right off the bat.

edit: I guess you could absolutely knock it out of the park as an associate like Chetan @ NEA and make it to partner, but by all accounts this is incredibly rare.


hahaha. I talked to a guy at Accel who went from Asso to Partner, and he basically said it would be easier to do that in growth cap than early-stage.

It's hard to take the startup role out of b-school due to debt and cashflow issues. I really wish there was some fund willing to refinance bschool debt with startup equity.


Hmm I guess it's easier to "be right" about your investment decisions at a Growth cap firm than a Seed or A round firm and that would translate to your promotion chances.

I was briefly at bschool before dropping out to start a company, so I know first hand that the debt can be a tough thing to balance with wanting to pursue your best interest matches immediately. I guess VC associate is a good way to have a solid paycheck with a relatively cushy work life balance that sets you up for a pretty smooth transition to companies in a variety of stages of growth.
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-12-03 18:40:52
December 03 2015 18:29 GMT
#19
On December 03 2015 16:27 Shady Sands wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 03 2015 13:45 Aerisky wrote:
On December 02 2015 02:05 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
Come to seattle and hire me please

Come to berkeley and hire me too please

e: wow I've just been sitting here thinking back, and this is actually a pretty massive throwback, to be honest. I'm reminded of your older blogs, and of TL as a whole and all those great times back then wtf. Damn, a lot sure has happened in these last couple of years... Just kind of crazy to look back on a timespan that's not even, what, 3 years? Did you actually start dating Tsinghua girl of Rhapsody in Blue fame (I assume this is to whom you're referring in this blog)?! Anyway, always thought your writing was really great, haha. Also this is really random, but what was your other username again? I feel like this wasn't your first account or something.

Anyway, glad to see you doing alright, man. I think I sort of looked up to you back in those naive high school days when I thought the world was my oyster and I thought was a promising young kid with a bright future ahead and all that shit. (Not that I no longer do as a result of having become less naive or anything--I was just saying) At least I can still pseudo-vicariously experience a life lived to its fullest via your blogs (or just read some great stories) . If you ever feel bad, know that your greatest failures will probably be grander than that to which my greatest successes will amount--something something being in a position to fail spectacularly something something. I think, in general, a lot of your blogs about your personal experiences, whether it was the pseudo-vignettes or the life advice, were really interesting to read and I definitely really appreciated just learning from you and reading em. ^^


Aerisky!

Remember you from 2012/13. Yeah feel free to email me - see PM. Do you know what happened to some of the other guys from then, like Azera, GMarshal?

Yes - still dating Tsinghua Girl. My other username was l0st_romantic. And don't humble yourself - we're all capable of accomplishing great things as long as we work hard and build a tribe where our hard work actually matters.

I think ABL irc is more or less dead (at least as far as the old members are concerned). And ahh that's right, I remember now, l0st_romantic! :D

Man I honestly thought that one could have been just a story. Pretty awesome to hear that you guys have literally been dating for this entire time. That's kind of really awesome--getting to have this compartmentalized peek into/memory of what I imagine is a pretty important moment in your life, when at the moment you had no idea as to what the future held Blogs are cool in that way, I suppose.
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
EatThePath
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
United States3943 Posts
December 03 2015 20:59 GMT
#20
you gotta skate

Not going to get hung up on it though as she's a sweet girl with killer looks and who likes to cuddle up every night as if I was the world's last teddy bear.

this
Comprehensive strategic intention: DNE
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