when I see good looking girls I try to avoid them but sometimes it's awkward to ignore them so I have to talk or at least acknowledge them. That's when it gets weird, because I try to give off the appearance of being calm and relaxed, but inside I freak out. Usually in this situation I just can't say much of anything, and anything I do say turns out to be really stupid. I am a pretty funny and smart guy, my friends think so. But when I am faced with attractive girls, I just can't show my "real" personality, it's like my brain stops working, and instead I start trying to be cool or pretend like I don't care, when in fact I do care what she thinks of me and instead of trying to make her comfortable around me or say something funny or intelligent, I'm more concerned with my appearance and how I look or the image I project at that exact moment. Basically I get really self-conscious because I am trying too hard to impress someone and that prevents me from just relaxing and being myself. A lot of times I even think about what I could have said or how differently I could have acted afterwards when I'm alone.

SamuelGreen

Sweden292 Posts

September 08 2015 05:08 GMT

I love how you wrote this as though a good looking girl was watching!

Don't worry about it though, you just need practice. The most important part is to not get crushed by failure, but keep going.

bypLy

757 Posts

September 08 2015 05:12 GMT

dont worry too much, there poop smells just like yours (unless they take these special drugs, that make your dump smell like flowers)

NeThZOR

South Africa7387 Posts

September 08 2015 08:28 GMT

Attractive girls are nothing special, they are just lucky for having one of the best characteristics for getting guys to want them. Just practice and don't try too hard.

boxerfred

Germany8360 Posts

September 08 2015 08:47 GMT

Do some formatting please

(

HaRuHi

1220 Posts

September 08 2015 11:59 GMT

I check my hair in the mirror before paying the cute cashier at my grocery store ... we are all weak.

rotta

5599 Posts

September 08 2015 12:53 GMT

Nature is urging you to procreate, but you are torn by the concept of consensus that comes with civilization. Jacking off pre-emptively is often a good idea.

JimmyJRaynor

Canada17267 Posts

September 08 2015 17:55 GMT

first thing you need to do dude.. is learn how to control your breathing...
when you breathe as if you are relaxed.. u start to become relaxed.

learn some relaxed breathing techniques.. and slow your whole system down.. when u r relaxed there is the potential to be smooth... it is a necessary but not sufficient condition.. more work may be required.

for relaxed breathing and relaxation in general i recommend Eli Bay.... google him.

you will find that when you get into a nice cushy relaxed state that background "mental chatter" either goes away completely or slows down... opening up some mental headspace to be witty, original and smooth.

i've had my ex-gfs reach into my chest and rip my heart out more than once. as a result, nothing bothers me when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex.

here is some good advice as well...by the greatest comedian who has ever lived.

parkufarku

882 Posts

September 08 2015 20:55 GMT

Seems like these female blogs have been really mild lately. Miss those old Shauni posts

Ty2

United States1434 Posts

September 08 2015 21:01 GMT

#10

--- Nuked ---

brickrd

United States4894 Posts

September 09 2015 11:15 GMT

#11

On September 08 2015 17:28 NeThZOR wrote:
Attractive girls are nothing special, they are just lucky for having one of the best characteristics for getting guys to want them. Just practice and don't try too hard.

i'm not sure "you're nothing special" is the correct attitude to take into trying to get to know someone of the desired sex lol

ninazerg

United States7291 Posts

September 09 2015 12:05 GMT

#12

On September 09 2015 20:15 brickrd wrote:

Show nested quote +

i'm not sure "you're nothing special" is the correct attitude to take into trying to get to know someone of the desired sex lol

It is the correct attitude.

NeThZOR

South Africa7387 Posts

September 09 2015 12:20 GMT

#13

On September 09 2015 21:05 ninazerg wrote:

Show nested quote +

It is the correct attitude.

Yeah... Because if you think the girl is a higher being and something not equal as yourself then you will be terrified

Fuchsteufelswild

Australia2028 Posts

September 09 2015 15:15 GMT

#14

^Yep, not to mention that people of any gender, sexuality, "race" etc. can all have utterly trashy personalities, so you're better off not deluding yourself into assuming anyone is special just because of any of these things (or because they're attractive).

That said, in my experiences, I have found that there is certainly not a negative correlation between looks and personality (probably no correlation, or if there's one, it's very very slightly positive). Relates to spitefulness as a result of insecurity.

Liked the blog, agree with SamuelGreen.

QuanticHawk

United States32129 Posts

September 09 2015 17:38 GMT

#15

On September 09 2015 20:15 brickrd wrote:

Show nested quote +

i'm not sure "you're nothing special" is the correct attitude to take into trying to get to know someone of the desired sex lol

he means conditioning yourself to treat them like you would any other human you might speak with, rather than thinking with your dick, and trying to not fail at all costs. eventually you get to the point of 'eh their loss' rather than OH MY GOD I HATE MYSELF ILL DIE A VIRGIN. rejection sucks but everyone is better for it.

jubil

United States2602 Posts

September 09 2015 21:19 GMT

#16

Certainly in casual conversation it's better to treat pretty girls like you'd treat anyone else, because after all they ARE human like anyone else. And believe it or not there are plenty of them out there, so it's not like if you botch one conversation you are condemned to die a virgin. This mindset is better for your mental health because you stop stressing out so much and beating yourself up, and guess what, people are more likely to become attracted to people that aren't stressed out and beating themselves up.

The important thing is, if the relationship ever actually gets to that flirty or romantic side, I think then it's perfectly fine to let on that you care about them and what they think of you (not in a desperate or creepy way tho of course). If you try to play aloof or "hard to get" when she's already definitely interested in you, I think you're wasting your time and hers. (just my opinion, maybe some other girls/guys have different preferences)

hymn

Bulgaria832 Posts

September 09 2015 22:02 GMT

#17

Girls = people. This means they are usually dumber than me so I can keep a conversation with ease. Op should be able too. Just that nowadays I prefer not to talk to people too much and I just pay attention to my daughter.

Shebuha

Canada1335 Posts

September 10 2015 05:42 GMT

#18

Wowww dude. I'm pretty high so that all sounds just fucked or something lol

quirinus

Croatia2489 Posts

September 10 2015 19:18 GMT

#19

it's hard to help without knowing all the details, but here:

just talk to all girls/women as often as you can and it'll improve
if you can't talk to really attractive girls, talk to less attractive ones so you get the hang of it first
or try just to talk to attractive girls without trying to flirt, just talk about stupid things. anything as mundane as what you/she is doing at that moment.
get a good female friend or two, or at least some females you can hang around and talk to often

it might be uncomfortable and scary at the start, but you'll get much more used to it very quickly.
though I must warn you, if you get good at talking to girls, there's still some girls that will make you feel like that (but by then, you won't really consider that such a bad thing)