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United States8432 Posts
Seriously. What is it to you? Why does that have anything to do with anything else?
Yeah. Fuck my parents. Seriously. I don't understand what goes through their fucking heads everyday. I don't understand how they can get mad at the stupidest reasons ever. If you haven't read my previous blog about run-ins with my parents, you can see it here: http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/449864-vent-asian-parents
Anyways, today at dinner I was slightly massaging the middle of my forearm because it felt slightly irritating and there was a dull pain. I've had this experience many times over the course of my life, it happens randomly, though today I was very active with my hands doing lab experiments. So my mom, sitting across from me at the dinner table, looks over and immediately asks what's wrong. I reply, and she instantly fucking tells me it's because I play too many video games and sit in front of a computer too much. Really? Does me typing on a keyboard really impact my forearms to the point where they would be in a very minute dull pain? Fuck you and your horrible shitty logic. Of course, I get slightly defensive, tell her that I haven't even been on the computer that much since I work everyday anyways and I only really get 1-2 hours on the computer to myself every night (get home at 5:30, eat dinner from like 6:00-6:45, then on computer til maybe 8:30, shower, facetime my girlfriend).
She obviously thinks I'm trying to start shit with her and argue (All I did was say the truth you moron), then becoming angry at me and telling me to shut up. Then goes on to say how I failed in college and couldn't even continue being pre-med and had to transfer to public health major. Big fucking deal, how does this have ANY FUCKING CONNECTION to my forearm hurting. Holy fucking shit.
This isn't even uncommon. This happens all the fucking time. I'll be doing something, I'll say something about someone or something, and the first fucking thought that goes through their thick skulls is either, 1) Video gaming bad blah blah, or 2) You don't study hard blah blah. I'm so sick of this shit and it's one of the only reasons I love college, to be away from my parents. (I actually hate college, I think it's extremely stupid that applying for grad school relies on you getting a good GPA in classes that don't even concern your future, aka calculus or writing classes or history).
Wait that's not all, THEN they go on a rant about how I don't respect them or appreciate them when they allow me to live with them and feed me. Really? Millions of other parents do this for their kids, what makes you two any fucking different? Respect? Really? Respect you when all you do is make my life miserable because I can't live up to your fucking ridiculous standards and expect me to never have any enjoyment in life?
Ok I'm done now. This is probably making my image here extremely awful but I just need to get things off my chest sometimes and have people to rant to.
FFTW
 
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I feel you dude. I told my mom I got into the engineering department at my University and she just asked what I was going to do with it and where I was going to get a job. She was super skeptical on me doing anything
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Actually you can mess your forearms on the keyboard. I messed up mine, the right one. This happens because on the mouse hand when I click, there is a raise on the finger. This raise is performed by the extensor muscles (they are on the hairy side of the forearm) and they can get overworked this way. I know I played too much CSGO for a couple of months without proper rest. As a result I even made an inflammation to some of the extensors, last week I couldn't even raise my fingers. It was like they had no nerves. Flexing was completely fine, extending was hell. So you can mess the forearm. I am not implying that is what happened to you but it's completely possible.
On topic, your situation kind of sucks. It seems to me you've reached a state in your life when it's time to move on and get out of their house.
And no, this post doesn't make you look awful. Like, my mom never took care of me and my brother. She used to send us during workdays to our grandmother (who was terrible with children and couldn't take proper care for us because she herself had never actually taken care of my dad when he was a kid). As a result my mother means nothing to me, her opinion on things is always ignored, I don't feel I need to support her in any way, when she's sick I am like "Meh, she'll get better, it's not my problem.". I really don't care for her. But I don't think this makes be a bad person, she has always been distant to me so there is no reason to feel her close.
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United States8432 Posts
On July 31 2015 15:37 hymn wrote:
Actually you can mess your forearms on the keyboard. I messed up mine, the right one. This happens because on the mouse hand when I click, there is a raise on the finger. This raise is performed by the extensor muscles (they are on the hairy side of the forearm) and they can get overworked this way. I know I played too much CSGO for a couple of months without proper rest. As a result I even made an inflammation to some of the extensors, last week I couldn't even raise my fingers. It was like they had no nerves. Flexing was completely fine, extending was hell. So you can mess the forearm. I am not implying that is what happened to you but it's completely possible.
On topic, your situation kind of sucks. It seems to me you've reached a state in your life when it's time to move on and get out of their house.
And no, this post doesn't make you look awful. Like, my mom never took care of me and my brother. She used to send us during workdays to our grandmother (who was terrible with children and couldn't take proper care for us because she herself had never actually taken care of my dad when he was a kid). As a result my mother means nothing to me, her opinion on things is always ignored, I don't feel I need to support her in any way, when she's sick I am like "Meh, she'll get better, it's not my problem.". I really don't care for her. But I don't think this makes be a bad person, she has always been distant to me so there is no reason to feel her close.
a possibility yes, but i dont do anything that requires high clicking for the past few weeks, even months. most of my time is browsing forums or doing casts or just watching videos, none of which really would make a drastic impact on my arm health.
i guess i have my life better than yours. my parents still take care of me a considerable amount, but they think that me showing respect or gratitude is one dimensional, only getting good grades and never playing games. they fail to understand respect doesnt mean what they think it is, plus the fact that just because you feed me and house me does not make you special parents and deserving of extra. of course, i will always love them because blood is blood. but i will never go to them in times of need or when im faltering with life.
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IDK about whose life is better, man. I am perfectly happy with mine and I don't have complaints. I mean I am 31 years old, I have decent income and a job for life, I own my home and car, my wife is super hot and charming and loveable (we even did a boob job for her 2 years back, she kind of looks like a 10/10 would bang milf), my daughter is the most amazing thing in the world, we are all healthy in the way that we don't suffer from severe allergies, no cancer, no accidents or serious traumas, no depressions or other psychological issues. I can't ask for more. I can only work and love them and be happy it turned out to be that way.
What do your parents mean with respect? Like, do they expect you to say nothing but "thank you" and never open your mouth when you disagree with them? It it's like that, I don't think that's respect. Respect (in Wikipedia at least) is defined as a positive feeling of admiration to someone's qualities. I think that's spot on. I feel exactly this towards my dad and towards my wife, for example. But if someone understands respect as a constant need to be thanked for doing things, there's something wrong with him.
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This sounds so familiar, and no it doesn't get much better. Get married and you'll have the same irrational arguments somehow correlating any mood/injury change to the little time you still spend gaming.
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Baa?14067 Posts
Ah yes, the good ol' TL blog tradition of complaining about parents.
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On May 06 2014 12:15 itsjustatank wrote:
for full effect, make sure to read this blog with linkin park playing in the background
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if you're over 18 move out.
i see my mom on my terms.
my dad is in jail so naturally i see him on my terms as well.
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ALLEYCAT BLUES45388 Posts
On August 01 2015 00:17 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:Show nested quote +On May 06 2014 12:15 itsjustatank wrote:
for full effect, make sure to read this blog with linkin park playing in the background
oh man lol
I'm gonna quote my mom on this blog "how can a parent expect any gratitude for doing their job of raising their kids". I know she doesn't mean that I give her shit and shes ok with it(she'll fucking destroy me if I really do something disrespectful), but she gets really weirded out when I do show gratitude for the stuff in my life.
that said I agree with everyone else, its not a healthy environment to be in, just move out.
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United States8432 Posts
On August 01 2015 01:00 BLinD-RawR wrote:Show nested quote +On August 01 2015 00:17 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:On May 06 2014 12:15 itsjustatank wrote:
for full effect, make sure to read this blog with linkin park playing in the background oh man lol I'm gonna quote my mom on this blog "how can a parent expect any gratitude for doing their job of raising their kids". I know she doesn't mean that I give her shit and shes ok with it(she'll fucking destroy me if I really do something disrespectful), but she gets really weirded out when I do show gratitude for the stuff in my life. that said I agree with everyone else, its not a healthy environment to be in, just move out.
god damn it with the fucking linkin park shit again.
my parents are not special, even though they think they are. they are not special in any way, shape, or form. they give me a place to stay and food to eat, and an overwhelming majority of parents could say the exact same way.
yes, i understand i should move out. but right now i need to be monetarily secure before i try something like that. most of my next 3 years will be in college away from them anyways so theres that.
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On August 01 2015 02:27 FlaShFTW wrote:Show nested quote +On August 01 2015 01:00 BLinD-RawR wrote:On August 01 2015 00:17 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:On May 06 2014 12:15 itsjustatank wrote:
for full effect, make sure to read this blog with linkin park playing in the background oh man lol I'm gonna quote my mom on this blog "how can a parent expect any gratitude for doing their job of raising their kids". I know she doesn't mean that I give her shit and shes ok with it(she'll fucking destroy me if I really do something disrespectful), but she gets really weirded out when I do show gratitude for the stuff in my life. that said I agree with everyone else, its not a healthy environment to be in, just move out. god damn it with the fucking linkin park shit again. my parents are not special, even though they think they are. they are not special in any way, shape, or form. they give me a place to stay and food to eat, and an overwhelming majority of parents could say the exact same way. yes, i understand i should move out. but right now i need to be monetarily secure before i try something like that. most of my next 3 years will be in college away from them anyways so theres that.
They're your parents. That should make them at least a tiny bit special for you. They invested years, time, energy, everything to see you succeed, and you can't blame them for being careful. At least if you don't agree with them, give them the appearance that everything is okay, and then do what you want where they can't see it.
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Baa?14067 Posts
On August 01 2015 02:27 FlaShFTW wrote:
my parents are not special, even though they think they are. they are not special in any way, shape, or form. they give me a place to stay and food to eat, and an overwhelming majority of parents could say the exact same way.
Are you special?
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United States8432 Posts
On August 01 2015 04:28 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:Show nested quote +On August 01 2015 02:27 FlaShFTW wrote:
my parents are not special, even though they think they are. they are not special in any way, shape, or form. they give me a place to stay and food to eat, and an overwhelming majority of parents could say the exact same way.
Are you special?
Seriously? No. Not really. I don't think I'm that special. The only person who has ever made me feel special is my girlfriend.
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On August 01 2015 04:28 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:Show nested quote +On August 01 2015 02:27 FlaShFTW wrote:
my parents are not special, even though they think they are. they are not special in any way, shape, or form. they give me a place to stay and food to eat, and an overwhelming majority of parents could say the exact same way.
Are you special?
I think FlaShFTW was getting at the point that they're acting like what they do for him is anything unusual and like he's ungrateful when really they're being very critical of his failure (or whatever) rather than supportive and the rest that they do is nothing out of the ordinary, rather the opposite; feeding and properly looking after their children is what you expect of parents anything less means they are doing a very bad job.
@OP, I'm not quite sure you did this from what I read: I think you should make sure you are purely polite/respectful and logical in the beginning when being defensive about your arm. It's natural for parents to be concerned about your health and especially for the older generations to blame newer habits like computer gaming for even minor health problems relating to fingers, wrists, arms, eyes as well as if you get tired/lose concentration in studies etc.
Computers and games get blamed regularly.
You know what? There are real connections. As you'd know, lots of progamers get serious wrist problems from intense gaming, and smaller concerns from lesser amounts.
People get RSI in various ways, not always from clicking but just arms stretched too much or not enough from arm positioning to the keyboard and mouse. Heck, people get used to mice that are bad for them based on the way they hold them. People overlook how their behaviour at a computer could affect them. It's pretty reasonable for her to jump to that conclusion. If she's wrong, just stay calm and rational point out why you're sure that's not the cause.
Oh plus you're supposed to have about 2 minutes walking around/other movement as a break from every 30 minutes of time.
As you say though, you're not spending a lot of time there so it's quite possible it's nothing to do with computer time.
The rest from her was bullshit though. There's a lot wrong with the education system.
I'd dare you to ask her how she thinks her stressful, disappointed attitude helps either your or even her, ask her to explain why she thinks it's worthwhile treating you that way and whether it's going to help her to be happy to just blame her son (and if so, WHY!?).
She needs to place more importance on your happiness and less on typical interpretation of importance/value by "achievement" and "social status".
Try not to lose your cool with her though, because it'll probably go down better if you (be sure to show emotion still but less anger/attitude) act like an adult and see if she can really do the same.
You say you have a girlfriend and she makes you feel special. That's great, make sure you feel appreciative of this and don't take it for granted.
Assuming she's not one of those nitwits who would be less attracted to you if you show she means a lot (types who thinks it's cool to act casual and distant all the time), make sure she knows you really appreciate her. It'll be easier to stay strong when you know you've got someone your really care for standing by you.
On August 01 2015 02:35 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:At least if you don't agree with them, give them the appearance that everything is okay, and then do what you want where they can't see it.
Hmm, maybe. I was thinking honesty was better though. i.e. I thought if he is fine with moving out, then he could try to let his parents know that the treatment MAKES him want to move out and say that if he's going to stay he needs them to be a bit more supportive. Actually I didn't notice his dad mentioned in this. I haven't read most of his blogs but maybe he could talk to his dad about it if it's maybe his mum that causes him stress. I imagine it's probably both though.
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From reading both OPs, it seems like your parents are afraid of a slippery slope (x could lead to this or that negative result).
Trying to empathize with parents in general ... life is hard, children must become ready as possible, our effort spent planning and micromanaging, natural comparisons and competitions with other families, our 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s sacrificed but children are not as fantastic as we'd imagined during pregnancy and early years, they don't appreciate how we cared for them, they don't understand how each rebellious, selfish, or resentful act hurts us.
I feel like parents and children want and expect one another to understand their position intuitively.
I think families should communicate openly and honestly with one another - what they feel, what they want, what they propose, and how they should proceed.
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On July 31 2015 14:30 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
I feel you dude. I told my mom I got into the engineering department at my University and she just asked what I was going to do with it and where I was going to get a job. She was super skeptical on me doing anything
You announce you want to try engineering and you're met with that reply? *sigh*
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ALLEYCAT BLUES45388 Posts
On August 01 2015 12:23 MountainDewJunkie wrote:Show nested quote +On July 31 2015 14:30 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
I feel you dude. I told my mom I got into the engineering department at my University and she just asked what I was going to do with it and where I was going to get a job. She was super skeptical on me doing anything You announce you want to try engineering and you're met with that reply? *sigh*
do or do not, there is not try.
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^What is that Yoda quote even supposed to mean? Is it like a lame, pretend-to-be-wise way of taunting the person if they fail? "Succeed or you suck"?
The idea that you "try" at something just means you're aware that you cannot guarantee success at things no matetr how sure you are, i.e. you're a realistic person and may have full conviction to try your hardest, but given you're not a bloody idiot, you know that you can't guarantee you'll succeed.
Yoda's really full of himself, isn't he? He just wants to sound enlightened.
Or does he just not really understand English? I suppose given the way he speaks I should be lenient and suppose the latter.
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On July 31 2015 12:28 FlaShFTW wrote:
Yeah. Fuck my parents.
Ok I'm done now. This is probably making my image here extremely awful but I just need to get things off my chest sometimes and have people to rant to.
FFTW
Sorry in advance, I'll keep this short.
Your parents could be wrong/old/tired/broken/evil, you could be wrong/blind/ungrateful.. I have no idea.
Picture it, one day you might have kids to raise yourself and be "on the other side".
Then you might regret both insulting them and venting uselessly instead of doing something constructive.
Nevermind the other kids telling you you are right, they are wrong too.
Kids are by definition irrespectful to their parents, there is nothing wrong with that when you are a kid
(kid= no real control over your life legally and/or "deemed" not ready to take control of said "life").
Thing is, you think you are not a kid anymore, am I right?
When you are disrespectfull and feel entittled to spit on the X years they have devoted/sacrificed for you (not to mention the years to come apparently) you blattantly display that you have some way to go.
The first sign of not being a kid is met when the still kid understands/sees that his parents are not "perfect".
You have apparently yet to reach the next signs.
"While under my roof you will abide by my rules and respect me"! That sounds harsh?
Well, that is a base that is difficult to avoid, if anything is to be built.
Making cognitive and social efforts to understand and live with / circumvent "what you disagree with" is very little efforts compared to potentially what your parents put up with / do for you.
Again sorry for being on the other side, but being there is harder than what you seem to think / realize.
Also
On August 01 2015 10:50 domane wrote:
I feel like parents and children want and expect one another to understand their position intuitively.
I think families should communicate openly and honestly with one another - what they feel, what they want, what they propose, and how they should proceed.
I wholeheartedly agree and wished more people tried, even though many parents/kids will feel it is hopeless ; the failure is only in not having tried.
Again sorry, your parents might be at fault, but you can try to do your part, trust me it will make a difference later when you are on the other side.
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EPT
