Hey guys, what's up. Lately I talked with some of my friends about some of their problems and obviously exchanged some of my own experiences with issues I had in my life and the way I dealt with them.
I was pretty surprised by my realization that literally every single person that I've spoken to about their own experiences with depression, lack of self confidence and other problems were deeply grounded in some form of self victimization.
"well you know I was treated so badly by people when I was younger, I just still have problems with this"
Is like one of the most common bullshit lines you will get when you talk to people about why they don't just get their ass up and work on their issues and face them. I think most of us had periods in their lifes where they felt depressed, bullied, lonely. I most certainly had my fair share of very different bad experiences in my time such as depression, social anxiety (which is still something I'm fighting day in and out), depression,...
But with everyone constantly complaining, crying about how miserable they are - even the more reason for me to see it in a different light. I know that I can deal with this and I won't accept being defeated by these things.
If you have any idea what social anxiety feels like, you probably know that going out there and forcing yourself into awkward social situations to fight these anxieties is one of the hardest if not the hardest thing you can do.
There is nothing you can't do, nothing, for as long as you resist believing in your failure and you keep believing that you can change. Your thoughts is the deciding factor on whether or not you will be different. On whether or not you will be one of the few that does not take the easy path and keeps making excuses and stays depressed but rather does something against it.
It's a hell of a road, and probably the hardest path you can go, but you succeed step by step, you will feel great, your life will change drastically. You will feel ecstatic.
I agree @JimmyJRaynor: If you work on your body language and just keep your head up, you can actually boost your confidence by a huge margin. Its like your head interpretates that as "Oh I feel good at this moment" and suddenly a lot of your anger and bad momentum just fades away.
In continuation of that, the phrase "fake it till you make it", while not sounding very inspiring, is true in this instance as well. Meaning that if you want to be confident, start expressing the signs of confidence (looking people in the eye when you talk to them, keeping good posture, knowing that your opinions matter etc), while around other people. In the end, it will be natural to you and you won't be faking it anymore. Atleast, that's what happened to me ^^ although the hours in the gym probably helped
i agree 100% Myrion. Even just forcing eye contact in a moment you feel awkward but telling yourself "Just act confident, just talk and just have good body posture because you know thats what its like to feel confident" suddenly becomes second nature and you dont think about it anymore but it becomes the real you.
You don't think that's because males who care about their posture, perhaps take better care of themselves, physically; therefore have a rise of testosterone? I've never heard of your stat, but that's my initial thought, and it would be pretty difficult to counter argue.
On May 05 2015 22:33 ShoCkSC2 wrote: I agree @JimmyJRaynor: If you work on your body language and just keep your head up, you can actually boost your confidence by a huge margin. Its like your head interpretates that as "Oh I feel good at this moment" and suddenly a lot of your anger and bad momentum just fades away.
Thanks for your contribution
This isn't necessarily true either... In fact, many great people have been noted to have poor posture, Steve Jobs is a popular example.
With that being said, no harm no foul. If you think walking around straight with your head held high will boost your confidence, chances are, it is. The thought is what boosts your confidence though. I don't think your head really interprets how you're standing, imo, I doubt your head really is self aware of your appearance 99.9% of the time, unless you are observing your reflection or consciously thinking about your appearance.
How you can derive to said thought, well, I guess standing tall, or taking care of your posture works for some. Personally, people just need to expose themselves to more if they are feeling depressed. Most of how you feel is environmental. The other biggest factor is stress. Staying busy, exposing yourself to new feelings and experiences, low stress, are big keys to success and success is a huge factor in happiness.
But everyone is different. Some people don't even care how they look or how they are postured or who they are surrounded by but are very content and happy. I guess bottom line, do whatever makes you happier. Breaking down your own happiness into 3 categories will help you achieve happiness ei. My 3 categories are Love, Success, Entertainment. From there I figure out how to achieve those; Love = healthy relationship = moments that you can share with someone, give and take, sex, etc. Success = money, happy employment, safe home, etc. Entertainment = social drinking, travel, sports, etc.
When I was a child I remember a teacher telling me that all you need in life is Food, Shelter, Water, Love. I thought that was ridiculous. I was a child and missed the point: it's the main things that count, and you figure out how to achieve that via the little things. Again, Food = money = happy employment. If Food = money = unhappy employment then you really aren't achieving much other than survival. You need happiness to succeed.
I think a big issue a lot of us face is our pre concieved notions of our own limitations, this video explains this concept:
And about the posture thing it's very much fact as far as I can tell, it is not just for men, so present as an alpha male and you feel more like an alpha male, more confidence and less self doubt. It's like the thing with if you force a person to smile )like with a pen between their teeth sidways) they will feel happier than they would if they had a neutral face posture.
EPT
