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I think it's interesting to look back and remember how between the ages of 15 to 22, everything seemed so dark and hopeless, yet everyone insisted that "these are the best years of your life". And now for the last 3 years (I'm 25), things have been looking up, yet paradoxically I can see that the years I spent wallowing in self pity and feeling hopeless were indeed the best years of my life that I pissed away (though certainly not completely).
They were formative years when despite the fact that I felt like my hopes and dreams were slipping between my fingers, I was at least moving forward and I feel like now I've stabilized and there's really no where to move forward for me.
I have a job and probably a career lined up in front of me, which is both comforting because society tells me what I need is stability. But it's also maddening, because I've never traveled much and working will keep me stuck here. I went to California for Blizzcon in 2009, I went to the French alps to go go skiing and visited Paris on that same trip. I've spent about 2 weeks of my life outside of Canada. I've never backpacked through Europe for 3 months to collect heaps of life stories that range in some cases from running from the cops in Italy to jumping from a moving train in Bulgaria or getting it on with an outrageously hot Scandinavian lady in Amsterdam (all things that allegedly happened to friends and acquaintances).
Now I'm not depressed or sad, but I have to admit that I'm going through a bit of a crisis, feeling like the days when I could drop everything and see the world are behind me. With my job now, it looks like I'll have 2 weeks for the holidays and 2-3 weeks in the summer, during which I tend to have to have other engagements like helping people move, visiting family here and there, etc. It's not very likely that I'll ever be able to take a year off or whatever to go travel.
It may be odd but for some reason until recently I had just internally accepted that my days of exploring the world are now over and I'd just continue living for the sake of it. And while probably sounds silly, I miss the feeling of awe that I had when I started going down the slopes in the French alps, or doing something as silly (but still meaningful to me) as fighting ghosts for the first time in World of Warcraft near Darkshore, or just discovering girls for the first time,.. which sounds absolutely ridiculous but it's a feeling that I don't get anymore. The feeling of the unknown, the feeling that the events unfolding before your eyes are grand (though they may not be as meaningful for somebody else). Now it's as if I have all the amazing things figured out, nothing amazing to explore, though perhaps that's a bit my fault too...
I'm jealous of those of you who manage to find the time to travel and to live your life how you want to. Sadly, part of what's keeping me here in Montreal is some sort of feeling that I don't have enough time for anything.
Anyway cheers 
  
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I kind of feel similar, sort of trapped where I am. I'm stuck in this shithole canadian city and I don't see myself every having the time and motivation to get out... I'm gonna be here forever. There's a lot of the world I'd like to see, and many things I'd like to do, but it already feels too late.
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Squirrel away money - take year out in between jobs.
It will delay career progression and grown up things like "buying a house". But it's fun.
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I've spent the last two years living in South Korea, and now I've moved to China.
That feeling of things being amazingly new? Like the first time you get to explore being with a girl? It never comes back. The more you explore, the more you become accustomed to the new and the different. All the differences in the world seem to feel smaller and smaller.
Don't give yourself a reason to have regrets, but don't throw everything away chasing ghosts either.
It's tough, man.
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Yeah, I feel your pain buddy. The conflict between stability/adventure is one that bugs me too :/
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Netherlands6188 Posts
I've been saying 'oh I'll travel when I have more time and money' and I've figured that isn't ever going to happen at this rate. I've decided to leave my job once my paperwork is all lined up and I'm going to just go, get out. See the world, work odd jobs until I'm ready to settle down.
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I hear many people complaining about the same problems (usually initiated by their jealousy at my lifestyle, which is a complete oposite) - the problem is almost always the same: they are just stupidly wasting money on things that they believe they "need" while constatntly talking about things they "want", but never can have. When asked, why they just don't get what they want instead what they believe to need, they usually mumble something about being adults and continue their unhappy lives.
I am 32, I spend at least 2 months of every year on leisure travel and a couple of weeks on top of that on work-related travel (where I often find time to do something fun nevertheless). I go to work largely when I want to and if I don't show up a day or two, nobody asks questions, unless there is something timely to do. This is very far from being standard even in my (arguably very relaxed) workplace and it did not happen to me as a gift from the greater powers. I decided that my life should look like this and I fought to make it happen.
I make less than $1000 a month, I live in a student dormitory with my wife in one room of 4 times 4 meters with a shared kitchen and bathrrom with some random strangers. We own a 18-year old car worth about $500 and most of our stuff is in a couple of cardborad boxes. I know many people with much larger income than myself who consider themselves "poor" and probably believe that I live a night life as a bank robber because I can afford awesome things for my hobbies (outdoor stuff, photo lenses ...) and an outrageous amount of flight tickets and gasoline ... and then they go out and by another load of designer clothes and decorative dust-catchers for their mortgaged houses and leaseplanned new cars.
TL;DR: you can do whatever with your life, but only if you make it a priority and build your life around what you want, instead of what other people want you to have.
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On November 11 2014 17:24 opisska wrote:
I hear many people complaining about the same problems (usually initiated by their jealousy at my lifestyle, which is a complete oposite) - the problem is almost always the same: they are just stupidly wasting money on things that they believe they "need" while constatntly talking about things they "want", but never can have. When asked, why they just don't get what they want instead what they believe to need, they usually mumble something about being adults and continue their unhappy lives.
I am 32, I spend at least 2 months of every year on leisure travel and a couple of weeks on top of that on work-related travel (where I often find time to do something fun nevertheless). I go to work largely when I want to and if I don't show up a day or two, nobody asks questions, unless there is something timely to do. This is very far from being standard even in my (arguably very relaxed) workplace and it did not happen to me as a gift from the greater powers. I decided that my life should look like this and I fought to make it happen.
I make less than $1000 a month, I live in a student dormitory with my wife in one room of 4 times 4 meters with a shared kitchen and bathrrom with some random strangers. We own a 18-year old car worth about $500 and most of our stuff is in a couple of cardborad boxes. I know many people with much larger income than myself who consider themselves "poor" and probably believe that I live a night life as a bank robber because I can afford awesome things for my hobbies (outdoor stuff, photo lenses ...) and an outrageous amount of flight tickets and gasoline ... and then they go out and by another load of designer clothes and decorative dust-catchers for their mortgaged houses and leaseplanned new cars.
TL;DR: you can do whatever with your life, but only if you make it a priority and build your life around what you want, instead of what other people want you to have.
incredibly well put!
Now, it is more expensive to visit EU from NA, but there are also incredible places in NA to visit! OP may never backpack across Europe, but you probably could take 3 weeks (or more?) and drive around NA! It may not seem the same, but there are a lot of parallels and lots to see / do. It really is about what priorities you have and where you want to put your time and money. Also, never buy into any BS about a certain period of your life being a peak. I'm able to enjoy some things so much more now that I'm older than if I would have done similar things 5 or 10 years ago!
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I don't understand the obsession with travelling. Yes, it expands your horizons; yes it's good for your soul; but if you don't have the means, be it time or money, don't sweat it. People largely exaggerate what they see or experience when they travel, seriously, how many times have you heard the phrase "most amazing trip ever", it's also easy to condense all the good stuff that happened over the span of three weeks into a session over a few round of drinks.
I'm not saying travelling is bad, but it's just like anything else, it's got a cost attached. I can be an investment or an expense depending on how you see it, but you need the means to do it.
Not sure if you are working full time yet, you'll get plenty of time to travel after you start your job, be it work assignments or your personal vacations. Life is long, and you are still young, chill.
edit: so yea, you haven't even started your full time job yet, you get like 3-4 weeks of vacation a year, and you can do two decent trips with that time. Two places a year gets you around the world pretty quickly!
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I'm 31, and ever since I hit my job at 27, I've recent years have about 2-3 months of traveling (flextime + vacation + taking free 1 month).
I've had good trips, and bad trips (lol). I found it's all in the mind depending how good my trip is. My advice is, please avoid debt by any means, unless it's for a house/apartment. I do not drink or smoke at all while I am home working. It's easy for me, I play CS:GO on friday/saturday because I actually enjoy it more. And though it won't get me laid, I don't really care either.
What people have said is true, the first excitement you get from traveling quickly falls away. For me its crucial that I am content right where I am now, and that little bugger sits in my head. I try to align a purpose for my traveling, which this time is, as weird as it sounds, peace of mind. I just go there (asia), and have no plans and just want to feel free, and that is up to me, how I see things.
I have no idea why people keep insisting that the age of 15-22ish are so good. For me too these where pretty dark, although I had gf, friends, etc etc. For me it keeps getting a little better for each year.
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On November 11 2014 17:24 opisska wrote:
I hear many people complaining about the same problems (usually initiated by their jealousy at my lifestyle, which is a complete oposite) - the problem is almost always the same: they are just stupidly wasting money on things that they believe they "need" while constatntly talking about things they "want", but never can have. When asked, why they just don't get what they want instead what they believe to need, they usually mumble something about being adults and continue their unhappy lives.
I am 32, I spend at least 2 months of every year on leisure travel and a couple of weeks on top of that on work-related travel (where I often find time to do something fun nevertheless). I go to work largely when I want to and if I don't show up a day or two, nobody asks questions, unless there is something timely to do. This is very far from being standard even in my (arguably very relaxed) workplace and it did not happen to me as a gift from the greater powers. I decided that my life should look like this and I fought to make it happen.
I make less than $1000 a month, I live in a student dormitory with my wife in one room of 4 times 4 meters with a shared kitchen and bathrrom with some random strangers. We own a 18-year old car worth about $500 and most of our stuff is in a couple of cardborad boxes. I know many people with much larger income than myself who consider themselves "poor" and probably believe that I live a night life as a bank robber because I can afford awesome things for my hobbies (outdoor stuff, photo lenses ...) and an outrageous amount of flight tickets and gasoline ... and then they go out and by another load of designer clothes and decorative dust-catchers for their mortgaged houses and leaseplanned new cars.
TL;DR: you can do whatever with your life, but only if you make it a priority and build your life around what you want, instead of what other people want you to have.
The thing is, and I know this because of family, I'll be old someday, at least hopefully (or not). Won't you? Seeing how I don't plan to have children, there won't be anybody to really support me when I'll be old and unable to work. That sounds boring but it's reality as far as I'm concerned... so I can't go blow my earnings doing cool stuff without making sure it makes sense financially. Now, that doesn't mean I can't travel, it just means I find a way that doesn't screw with my long term situation. I can dump a few thousands left and right because I have disposable income, so long as I have a job.
Sadly, in my line of work, it's really not possible to take extended leave without being replaced, and then there's really (really) no guarantee that I'll be able to be hired anywhere else since jobs are scarce and I lucked out. Money's not the problem, I could afford a trip around the world easily. But I'd lose my job and that might hurt in the long run.
On November 11 2014 21:37 Cambium wrote:
I don't understand the obsession with travelling. Yes, it expands your horizons; yes it's good for your soul; but if you don't have the means, be it time or money, don't sweat it. People largely exaggerate what they see or experience when they travel, seriously, how many times have you heard the phrase "most amazing trip ever", it's also easy to condense all the good stuff that happened over the span of three weeks into a session over a few round of drinks.
I'm not obsessed with traveling, I'm obsessed with being stuck here for the rest of my life. I don't want the best trip ever, I want the ability to be "free" from time to time without fucking myself over in the long run. It's not just a geographical thing either. I guess part of it is melancholy, missing simpler times when actions didn't really have consequences. Now if I lose my job because I want to do something silly for 3 months, even though I could afford it now, I might end up being 60 down the line and unable to pay my bills. People don't think about these things but I've seen how dependent my grandparents are on their children, and seeing how I'm not having children... well, yeah...
I won't deny that I may be bored with traveling at some point if I ever find a way to do it, but I'd like a situation where I can. I have some friends who can because their jobs allow them to do that type of stuff and I wish I did.
On November 11 2014 23:27 crappen wrote:
I have no idea why people keep insisting that the age of 15-22ish are so good. For me too these where pretty dark, although I had gf, friends, etc etc. For me it keeps getting a little better for each year.
I could have traveled back then, I wasn't tied down here. From 18-22 I had plenty of free time and I could have taken 6 months off to go see stuff.
Anyhow, maybe I'll find a way, or figure out a way to free myself from family stuff during the summer to get away!
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TLADT24920 Posts
Quarter-life Crisis! :O Ironically, I was about to read that for fun lol. Sounds to me like the simple solution is to just get kids XD
On a more serious note, I think you just need to learn to make time to travel. You get 2-3 weeks vacation and you said you the summer (or part of it). That's plenty of time to travel! Thing is about traveling is that you can usually do it for 1-2 weeks at a time because the expenses will start to skyrocket after a certain point since you're paying for the hotel etc... I think at this point, it's probably best that you focus on financial stability and just save! In another year or two, you can probably aim to travel somewhere during those vacation weeks then repeat so long as you're careful with how you spend your money.
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On November 12 2014 01:30 Djzapz wrote:
The thing is, and I know this because of family, I'll be old someday, at least hopefully (or not). Won't you? Seeing how I don't plan to have children, there won't be anybody to really support me when I'll be old and unable to work. That sounds boring but it's reality as far as I'm concerned... so I can't go blow my earnings doing cool stuff without making sure it makes sense financially. Now, that doesn't mean I can't travel, it just means I find a way that doesn't screw with my long term situation. I can dump a few thousands left and right because I have disposable income, so long as I have a job.
Sadly, in my line of work, it's really not possible to take extended leave without being replaced, and then there's really (really) no guarantee that I'll be able to be hired anywhere else since jobs are scarce and I lucked out. Money's not the problem, I could afford a trip around the world easily. But I'd lose my job and that might hurt in the long run.
[
I would understand this sentiment if you were from the US, but I thought Canada was a civilized country like most of Europe, which takes at least basic care of their elderly. I also don't plan to have children, and I know that means that I am likely going to be pretty poor at age, but heck, I am "poor" already and I quite enjoy that. Also, I don't see any guarantee that I will live long enough for this to be an issue and I don't feel like building my entire life around a problem that may not even exist.
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On November 12 2014 10:01 BigFan wrote:Quarter-life Crisis! :O Ironically, I was about to read that for fun lol. Sounds to me like the simple solution is to just get kids XD On a more serious note, I think you just need to learn to make time to travel. You get 2-3 weeks vacation and you said you the summer (or part of it). That's plenty of time to travel! Thing is about traveling is that you can usually do it for 1-2 weeks at a time because the expenses will start to skyrocket after a certain point since you're paying for the hotel etc... I think at this point, it's probably best that you focus on financial stability and just save! In another year or two, you can probably aim to travel somewhere during those vacation weeks then repeat so long as you're careful with how you spend your money.
I AIN'T GETTIN KIDS. Not that I could right now...! But I don't want to.
On November 12 2014 16:06 opisska wrote:Show nested quote +On November 12 2014 01:30 Djzapz wrote:
The thing is, and I know this because of family, I'll be old someday, at least hopefully (or not). Won't you? Seeing how I don't plan to have children, there won't be anybody to really support me when I'll be old and unable to work. That sounds boring but it's reality as far as I'm concerned... so I can't go blow my earnings doing cool stuff without making sure it makes sense financially. Now, that doesn't mean I can't travel, it just means I find a way that doesn't screw with my long term situation. I can dump a few thousands left and right because I have disposable income, so long as I have a job.
Sadly, in my line of work, it's really not possible to take extended leave without being replaced, and then there's really (really) no guarantee that I'll be able to be hired anywhere else since jobs are scarce and I lucked out. Money's not the problem, I could afford a trip around the world easily. But I'd lose my job and that might hurt in the long run.
[ I would understand this sentiment if you were from the US, but I thought Canada was a civilized country like most of Europe, which takes at least basic care of their elderly. I also don't plan to have children, and I know that means that I am likely going to be pretty poor at age, but heck, I am "poor" already and I quite enjoy that. Also, I don't see any guarantee that I will live long enough for this to be an issue and I don't feel like building my entire life around a problem that may not even exist.
Basic care often sucks completely! But I'm not necessarily confident that our social programs will continue to be as good as they are now so ye...
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