EPT
SK Telecom Fan Survival Guide
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Part 1: Packing for the event
Part 1: Packing for the event
SK T1 fans, I implore you to not read this guide lightly. If you go to this event you may need every bit of information. KT Rolster fans cannot be trusted, cannot be tolerated, and mostly cannot hold their tears. No seriously. Here’s a personal account from both KT and SKT fans after KT lost the last SPL grand finals to SKT.
An anonymous SKT fan says:
Their eyes swell and turn red. They are unable to speak, unable to breath, nothing. The world around, becomes a blur of color that melts to gray. The weight in their chest and locks in their throats. The pain in the back of the mind the comes forward by the slightest reminder. A small token of sorrow and misery. Small crystal beads that trail down the cheeks to the neck, and the chest. Only to melt into the cloth they wore or to fall off their pouting lip.
Another SKT fan had this to share:
A single tear slid down from his(Flash’s) warm, butterscotch eyes, followed by another one, and another one, until soon, a steady stream of salty tears flowed it's way down his pale cheek, releasing the sadness and sorrow that has been held inside of him for all this time but still he did not make a sound. At the same time, a girl with deep, blue eyes, let out a heart wrenching wail, that was followed by a series of blatant tears. One would ask. Is it better to rack your body with noisy sobs and let the world know of your pain, or to slowly release your emotion within yourself with silent tears?
An anonymous KT fan’s experience:
I never learned to cry with style, silently, the pearl-shaped tears rolling down my cheeks from wide luminous eyes, as on the covers of True Love comics, leaving no smears or streaks. I wished I had; then I could have done it in front of people, instead of in bathrooms, in darkened movie theatres, shrubberies and empty bedrooms, among the party coats on the bed.
When asking a KT fan to describe what Flash looked like:
His crying was both ferocious and noisy. He blinked briny tears from bloodshot eyes, his thick lashes stuck together in clumps as if he'd been swimming. The tears made wet tracks down his face and dripped from his stubbled, wobbling chin. Clear watery snot streaked from his flaring nostrils down his red mottled skin to his open quivering lips. His hands open and closed, rhythmically clenching as if there could be some violent solution to his pain if only he could find it.
Sad, I know right? This is why packing correctly is even more important. For just a few cheap bucks you can head to any store near the event and buy yourself some KT Jelly. You may think it is odd buying something you will be giving away to opposing fans. But unless you want to deal with that miserable sob experience, you are going to need to offer the opposing fans some KT Jelly. This product is specifically for all those jelly fans that are going to feel awful after their team gets demolished and it is going to ruin the happiness of the event if every KT fan is wailing their heart out. So be sure to offer it to them fast so they can safely make it home before crying their hearts out.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/JIftoui.png)
Part 2:
Understanding You Opponent
Understanding You Opponent
It’s standard to be very excited seeing your team play in person. The worst part, however, is you are also forced to see the opposing team in person. Generally this isn’t an intolerable experience, but it’s KT Rolster. Nothing is more mind numbingly boring, depressing, and outright miserable then being in the same venue with these players….especially after they lose a game! This part of the guide will prepare you for the different type of personalities that exist in the KT Rolster house. Additionally, to make this more intimate, I used excerpts from each players diary.
Personality Type 1: Scared Stats – his first day in the team house with Flash
Date: 01/10/08
He was horrible. He told me what to wear to be in with his crew. I hated him but being 'friends' with him means that I am popular. He teases other teammates and flirts with all of the gamers. He was just one of them guys that you wanted to push into a metal locker and bruise all of his face.
Personality Type 2: Forlorn Flash – excerpts of Flash after losses to Parting
Date: 05/27/13
I hated him with a huge passion. His presence buzzed around me like a fly that I could not swat. He had designer clothes, lived in the SKT house. He had everything. And there was me. A boring old gamer with no special qualities.
Date: 01/12/14
I stood on the brink of something I couldn't describe. The weight of everything seemed to press down on my shoulders and I struggled to take even a single step forward. It was too much. All of it. And somehow, I kept moving. But every step cost me. The darkness grew darker; the pain grew sharper; all of it seemed to only grow in strength and I began to wonder if things could ever get better.
But I never said a word. Sometimes I wonder if that smile- the horribly fake smile- is ever seen through. If someone ever notices that sad, broken look in my eyes that I see in the mirror. If they see beauty where I see ugliness. And then I laugh, a bitter, sarcastic laugh, at myself. Nobody cares. No one notices. They never seem to, do they?
I've fought for years. I just march on..
Personality Type 3: Zester then the rest
Date: 04/08/12
How did I feel when Bisu defeated me earlier today? I was on the very brink of knowing all it is possible to know, but the barrier of impending doom held it at bay. For the briefest of moments I knew precisely what was to occur, yet could never be certain until the event.
Who was I? What had I done? Had I fallen like one of the princes? Had I been born into the land of forgetfulness, and to die like a man?
Personality Type 4: Anxious Action – a personal account of losing a game
Date: 06/02/14
My heart twisted and sunk with nerves as I sat in front of the computer. The white light enveloped me, coldly, as I shook. My breaths came in sharp pants and I tried to gain control, but nothing was working. It hurt. It HURT! I tried to breath calmly, but every time I looked up those cruel, horrible, necessary words were there. GG. Words I had known long before I type them. Words I had waited for with anxiety and worry, knowing, somehow, what they might say.
Slowly, the panic and anxiety attack flowed away, and yet I still shook. My eyes, closed and aimed towards my clasped hands, slowly opened. Trepidation swelled through me as I slowly raised my eyes yet again to the steadily shining screen.
Personality Type 5: Sleeping Sleep
Date: Night time in the team house
[i]I heard a loud whaling sound piercing through the walls. It was hard to believe it came from such a tiny creature, I wanted to go back to sleep and ignore it but it was impossible. It sounded like the screeching of an angry cat, only growing harsher and louder as I walked to stop the wailing.
I looked down at his balled up red face, eyes frantically searching the room for my familiar face, and when her eyes landed on me the crying diminished and he giggled, as if waking me up in the middle of the night was a joke. I sighed and walked out of the room into my own.
I closed my eyes to get some well-deserved sleep, but once I did it started again. I buried my head into my pillow. Baby is so annoying, I groaned.
Personality Type 6: Baby
Date: 07/29/14
Sullen, secretive, languid, self centered, opinionated, surly, uncouth, unscrupulous, caustic, domineering, ignorant, grouchy, petulant, scared, slovenly, argumentative, babyish, conceited, complacent, arrogant, dangerous, liar, disparaging, disrespectful, sarcastic.
I know this was a lot to take in SKT fans. Believe me, reading this now is already giving you the proper mental fortitude to share a venue with this team.
Part 3:
Wrecking Your Opponent
Wrecking Your Opponent
You’ve been warned about the sad state of KT fans. You’ve been told in darkest details of the KT Rolster team. Disregard everything. Be nice to fans? No need. Appreciate the opponent? Get out of here! I met up with several SK Telecom players, retired and active, and head coach Oov. I wanted capture the SKT mindset when they are about to fight against their opponent.
The Emperor Boxer:
Do you try and humiliate your opponent?
I try to be as impersonal as possible.
I get no joy out of being an asshole to someone. That said, I don't "show mercy" on newbs because getting your ass kicked is a major part of learning how to play the game. You're doing someone a disservice if you let someone win as they'll get lulled into thinking they are actually good. I don't do cheesey tactics for the sake easy wins. I’m killing them off in such a manner the next time we play they will fear me.
Iloveoov:
What is your attitude once the game has begun?
I try and show mercy to lesser players when it's a 1v1 type situation, because if I just keep killing them over and over again, then they're not going to have much fun. None of that matters, because I always win regardless. If there's more people (1v2, 1v3), then i'll try harder, but if everybody else is a major noob I may entertain myself in other ways. I don't really trash talk during games either, my fan girls take care of that for me.
BruceLee Toss Bisu:
How do you feel your opponent perceives you?
I’m not sure if you'd say I’m was classically beautiful, but my large liquid brown eyes hold such an intelligence and serenity that it is impossible for those who gaze upon not to be held prisoner by them. My cheekbones aren’t especially high and her nose was a little too long to be perfect, but there is undeniable symmetry to my features and perhaps that's what holds everyone so captivated. People do all they can not to stutter and blush when they address me.
Rain:
What goes through your mind before your match begins?
Before I enter the booth and envision myself. I am a general standing on the hilltop, a lone figure in the noonday sun. In the valley below me, and astride zealots and stalkers possessed by the thrill of the battle thunder across the plain. Driven by fury and fear, and with flashing weapons held high, they charged into the waiting ranks. The slaying had commenced.
Parting:
Are you always confident when you play?
I laugh heartlessly, looking down at opponents as if they are just another child begging me for pity. As I continue to stare across the room waiting for my game, my stony glare carves into the weakening eyes of my challengers. Fury blurs their sight causing them to lose focus. In the time it takes their mind to return, their faces is already swollen, puffy, wet. They realize they typed GG on the screen, but they also know their forfeit was an involuntary result of the fear of me haunting them.
soO:
Describe the final moments as you defeat your opponent?
The pain my opponent should feel is like fire had faded away to an icy numbness. Black fills the edges of my vision as I near victory and the only thing I could hear is my own heartbeat. My opponents breath comes in ragged, shallow gasps. Seconds pass as my units gather, then, my opponent hears the voices. Units swarm all over my challenger. I laugh. Surely he could tell that it was far too late for him to be saved, yet like children, he is naive to the darkness of the real world. The despair and suffering of the world that takes everyone who opposes me away. He would be joining them soon though. He would be able to leave all the pain behind with just two letters. I close my eyes, I can be happily now. My opponent has fallen.
A big thanks to the players who found time to answer these questions for me.
Lesson 4:
Banners and Cheerfuls!
Banners and Cheerfuls!
The final lesson. This applies to all SKT fans. Whether you are at the event or not, always remember to create as many banners and cheerfuls that you can. It is time SKT fans to rise! Raise your banners high and flood this thread with your best(and worst) art possible!!!!!
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SKT FIGHTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KEEP THE TRADITION ALIVE! CHAMPS WE WILL REMAIN!
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