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Theres a girl I work with. Met her tonight for the first time. It was at a store meeting with all the employees.
Shes super cute, nice bod, and wears megane. Everything I look for in a girl.
We go to a after party bonfire. I see this as an opportunity to get to know her more.
One of the wooden pallets gets drifted into the waves. Shes all like, "oh get that pallet, save the turtles!"
Me being the stupid drunken idiot. I run into the water and grab it. My entire lower body soaked in water.
I didnt give a fuck, I wanted to impress her.
Fuck me, my phone is wet, and my wallet is waterlogged.
I didnt care, I got to impress her.
My friend talks to me, he ends up telling me a story how that girl sucked his dick.
Fuck my life. Im so stupid.
 
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TLADT24920 Posts
moral of the story: don't get drunk and try to impress girls  Sorry to hear about your troubles.
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I fail to see the problem here?
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On June 09 2014 22:40 icydergosu wrote:
I fail to see the problem here?
he tried to hit on girl where he later realized that she already did it with his friend
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On June 09 2014 22:44 goody153 wrote:he tried to hit on girl where he later realized that she already did it with his friend
This is a problem because...?
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On June 09 2014 22:51 icydergosu wrote:Show nested quote +On June 09 2014 22:44 goody153 wrote:On June 09 2014 22:40 icydergosu wrote:
I fail to see the problem here? he tried to hit on girl where he later realized that she already did it with his friend This is a problem because...?
he thinks he wasted effort for the girl since she is not worth it or something like that i suppose
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Pandemona
Charlie Sheens House51485 Posts
Ouch, wet wallet and fone is many bad.
Lol "SAVE THE TURTLES" lolol
Unlucky brah, but like others said, if she got with your mate who cares? IDK, sloppy 2nds or riot i guess.
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ALLEYCAT BLUES50121 Posts
so she sucked his dick, get her to suck yours now.
Just tell her you're the CROTCHMASTER.
edit: retracting previous statement due to lack of relevance
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Yeah that sucks. You don't want to mess with the same girl your friend has. Never works out.. in my opinion.
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On June 09 2014 23:28 BLinD-RawR wrote:
so she sucked his dick, get her to suck yours now.
is this the same night you tipped 200$?
Emnjay such 1%
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Baa?21243 Posts
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On June 09 2014 23:28 BLinD-RawR wrote:
so she sucked his dick, get her to suck yours now.
is this the same night you tipped 200$?
nah, that was a bartender. Unless one of his parttime jobs is at a bar, this girl who's working with him and the bartender where he dropped 200$ probably aren't the same.
But yeah as everyone said, I don't really see a problem here unless it's one of these nasty stories and you're leaving out the majority of the funny parts.
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correct. In life, you should only date/hookup with virgins. Also, they must not have done anything sexual with anyone before you.
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Never ridiculize yourself to impress a girl. It's never worth it. She should be the one wanting to impress you! It's all about attitude dude! Listen to SoSexy 
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We always do stupid things to impress girls who doesn't deserve to be impressed... but we always learn this afterwards.
Just fuck her and move on.
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On June 09 2014 22:15 Emnjay808 wrote:
I didnt give a fuck, I wanted to impress her.
I didnt care, I got to impress her.
My friend talks to me, he ends up telling me a story how that girl sucked his dick.
Fuck my life. Im so stupid.
Seems like you're headed for a happy ending to me.
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Wait, how do turtles have anything to dow ith it?
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I'm a big fan of turtles. Keep up the good work.
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Yes, Im saving turtles. The the ONE positive thing I can think of here. I live in Hawaii.
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Is no one else here questioning how biodegradable driftwood was going to even hurt the turtles in the first place?
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And here I was picturing Emnjay jumping in the sea, trying to save a family of turtles that was about to give headbumps to a still flaming piece of wood that is slowly edging in on the small babyturtles. Because as well all know, turtles just like moths get mesmerized by fire and will just head straight for it.
The picture in my head was amazing.
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On June 10 2014 05:12 Emnjay808 wrote:
Yes, Im saving turtles. The the ONE positive thing I can think of here. I live in Hawaii.
That makes 2.
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On June 09 2014 22:15 Emnjay808 wrote:
Shes super cute, nice bod, and wears megane. Everything I look for in a girl.
What % is the megane part or is it split 1/3 for each?
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On June 10 2014 06:35 Boucot wrote:Show nested quote +On June 10 2014 05:12 Emnjay808 wrote:
Yes, Im saving turtles. The the ONE positive thing I can think of here. I live in Hawaii. That makes 2.
It's as if he thinks saving the turtle was wrong. o.o
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On June 10 2014 06:42 Sterlymobile wrote:Show nested quote +On June 09 2014 22:15 Emnjay808 wrote:
Shes super cute, nice bod, and wears megane. Everything I look for in a girl.
What % is the megane part or is it split 1/3 for each?
WTF is megane?
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megan typo? megan fox?
I'd look for a girl wearing megan fox too!
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TLADT24920 Posts
On June 10 2014 08:50 Jerubaal wrote:Show nested quote +On June 10 2014 06:42 Sterlymobile wrote:On June 09 2014 22:15 Emnjay808 wrote:
Shes super cute, nice bod, and wears megane. Everything I look for in a girl.
What % is the megane part or is it split 1/3 for each? WTF is megane?
probably means glasses seeing as megane is anime talk:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Megane
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How does grabbing a pallet save turtles? rofl
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ALLEYCAT BLUES50121 Posts
On June 10 2014 08:53 Capped wrote:
megan typo? megan fox?
I'd look for a girl wearing megan fox too!
megane means glasses in japanese.
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go for some sweet revenge, suck his dick too
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lol, I thought megane was a fragrance or summin.
ok I get it.
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sad thing he never started playing moeboats. He might have been the first person to ever be happy to get a Kirishima:
+ Show Spoiler [picture] +
On June 10 2014 11:39 CecilSunkure wrote:
How does grabbing a pallet save turtles? rofl
[22:54] <Toad|> wait, this guy does raise a good question
[22:54] <Toad|> "Is no one else here questioning how biodegradable driftwood was going to even hurt the turtles in the first place?"
[23:03] * Toad| slaps Emnjay808 around a bit with a large trout
[23:04] <Emnjay808> ?
[23:04] <Toad|> how does driftwood hurt turtles?
[23:04] <Emnjay808> we used wooden pallets for the bonfire
[23:04] <Emnjay808> if these things ram into a turtle theyre dead
learning something new every day
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United Kingdom36161 Posts
pretty sure that's just nonsense ^
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idk man, I'm not a turtle scientist
google says
In the fifth in a series of independent tests conducted in cities from Portland, Maine, to New Orleans, wood shipping pallets that transport our food were discovered carrying bacteria and life-threatening pathogens that spread easily and endanger our nation's food supply.
Maybe they're getting infected and dying a slow, painful death
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The only reason a pallet would harm anything is because the nails wouldn't be very biodegradable, and if they are left in the sand people can step on them and it hurts.
Burning wood or throwing wood away is about as natural as you get and is well understood, unlike burning oil where the origins of oil (why/how it got there) are still up for discussion.
Edit: Or yeah whatever the hell is in the wood due to treatment, but whatever it's not going to be as bad as a plastic bag that actually kills all sorts of things.
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On June 10 2014 18:09 Toadesstern wrote:sad thing he never started playing moeboats. He might have been the first person to ever be happy to get a Kirishima: + Show Spoiler [picture] +Show nested quote +On June 10 2014 11:39 CecilSunkure wrote:
How does grabbing a pallet save turtles? rofl Show nested quote +[22:54] <Toad|> wait, this guy does raise a good question
[22:54] <Toad|> "Is no one else here questioning how biodegradable driftwood was going to even hurt the turtles in the first place?"
[23:03] * Toad| slaps Emnjay808 around a bit with a large trout
[23:04] <Emnjay808> ?
[23:04] <Toad|> how does driftwood hurt turtles?
[23:04] <Emnjay808> we used wooden pallets for the bonfire
[23:04] <Emnjay808> if these things ram into a turtle theyre dead learning something new every day
Ironically, the drifting wood would actually help baby turtles, as scientists recently discovered that is how they traverse oceans. By finding large things to rest on and let the currents take them.
However, the logic they are basing off is that old pic of the turtle that had a belt or some plastic soda can holder stuck around a turtle that grew into it and it's shell became deformed like a tree with a wire stuck in it or something.
PS this is a bundles of sticks between N and Q because this story is bullshit because his logic is not consistent.
Theres a girl I work with. Met her tonight for the first time. It was at a store meeting with all the employees.
Shes super cute, nice bod, and wears megane. Everything I look for in a girl.
We go to a after party bonfire. I see this as an opportunity to get to know her more.
One of the wooden pallets gets drifted into the waves. Shes all like, "oh get that pallet, save the turtles!"
Me being the stupid drunken idiot. I run into the water and grab it. My entire lower body soaked in water.
I didnt give a fuck, I wanted to impress her.
Fuck me, my phone is wet, and my wallet is waterlogged.
I didnt care, I got to impress her.
My friend talks to me, he ends up telling me a story how that girl sucked his dick.
Fuck my life. Im so stupid.
First bold. What? You work with her and met her for the first time tonight?
2nd bold, IDGAF
3rd bold, IDGAF
4th bold, Gives a fuck.
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When drunk the truth lurches out of the heart.
Guys, he cared. He really cared about impressing the girl.
Edit: Also OP is a dick because now the turtles don't even have driftwood.
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You like her, you saved turtles to impress her. Now you know she also puts out and has good taste (assuming your friend's a good guy). I don't see an issue.
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On June 10 2014 21:06 Scarecrow wrote:
You like her, you saved turtles to impress her. Now you know she also puts out and has good taste (assuming your friend's a good guy). I don't see an issue.
Maybe he's religious, a virgin, and wants to stick to some ideals he has about virginity and blah blah.
But of course if he was looking to hook up with her before committing to a life-long marriage then perhaps it's pretty hypocritical of him to engage in sexual acts in the first place.
However we all know the OP has some internal conflicts about wanting to impress her an denying it thanks to Marlie's humorous post. Maybe he just has some more internal conflicts about having sex that he hasn't settled.
Sadly these internal conflicts manifest in people making fun of him on forums, him killing or not killing turtles, and soaking his cell phone/wallet with water. But of course it's only fair to give him the benefit of the doubt! Maybe he actually is a virgin himself so his moral standards actually make sense and he's not a hypocrite! If this is true then it's just unfortunate that his phone and wallet were water-logged and he was just a victim of those pagans that suck each others' dicks messing up his perfect turtle saving plans.
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On June 09 2014 22:15 Emnjay808 wrote:
Shes super cute, nice bod, and wears megane. Everything I look for in a girl.
That part gave me the impression that you wouldn't mind the fact that she blew your friend. Seems like your standards aren't necessarily low but they're shallow... what does it matter who she's been with?
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Unless you have some kind of specific standards about your future girlfriend being a virgin or your friend wants to date her there shouldn't be much problem. Unless that story you mentioned had a lot of missing details that you left out.
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On June 10 2014 20:46 MarlieChurphy wrote:Show nested quote +On June 10 2014 18:09 Toadesstern wrote:sad thing he never started playing moeboats. He might have been the first person to ever be happy to get a Kirishima: + Show Spoiler [picture] +On June 10 2014 11:39 CecilSunkure wrote:
How does grabbing a pallet save turtles? rofl [22:54] <Toad|> wait, this guy does raise a good question
[22:54] <Toad|> "Is no one else here questioning how biodegradable driftwood was going to even hurt the turtles in the first place?"
[23:03] * Toad| slaps Emnjay808 around a bit with a large trout
[23:04] <Emnjay808> ?
[23:04] <Toad|> how does driftwood hurt turtles?
[23:04] <Emnjay808> we used wooden pallets for the bonfire
[23:04] <Emnjay808> if these things ram into a turtle theyre dead learning something new every day Ironically, the drifting wood would actually help baby turtles, as scientists recently discovered that is how they traverse oceans. By finding large things to rest on and let the currents take them. However, the logic they are basing off is that old pic of the turtle that had a belt or some plastic soda can holder stuck around a turtle that grew into it and it's shell became deformed like a tree with a wire stuck in it or something. PS this is a bundles of sticks between N and Q because this story is bullshit because his logic is not consistent. Show nested quote +
Theres a girl I work with. Met her tonight for the first time. It was at a store meeting with all the employees.
Shes super cute, nice bod, and wears megane. Everything I look for in a girl.
We go to a after party bonfire. I see this as an opportunity to get to know her more.
One of the wooden pallets gets drifted into the waves. Shes all like, "oh get that pallet, save the turtles!"
Me being the stupid drunken idiot. I run into the water and grab it. My entire lower body soaked in water.
I didnt give a fuck, I wanted to impress her.
Fuck me, my phone is wet, and my wallet is waterlogged.
I didnt care, I got to impress her.
My friend talks to me, he ends up telling me a story how that girl sucked his dick.
Fuck my life. Im so stupid.
First bold. What? You work with her and met her for the first time tonight? 2nd bold, IDGAF 3rd bold, IDGAF 4th bold, Gives a fuck.
She blew my co-worker friend during a 15min break on the parking lot because of a "game of honesty". Something along the lines of asking whats your favorite color straight to "would you let me suck your dick right now?" kind of thing. Aka, shes a slut. Just to clarify on that matter.
The wooden pallets are riddled with nails. Yes, those kinda hurt.
I met her for the first time cause I work in a store that employs 100+ people. She works day time shift, I work graveyard shift. Is that really hard to imagine?
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Im pretty much over this incident lol. Already got my new phone situated, just gotta pick it up. And buying a sweet new wallet from work.
Just wanted to clarify some questions people may have had since I wrote this blog when I was still drunk.
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Baa?21243 Posts
On June 11 2014 04:53 Emnjay808 wrote:
She blew my co-worker friend during a 15min break on the parking lot because of a "game of honesty". Something along the lines of asking whats your favorite color straight to "would you let me suck your dick right now?" kind of thing.
...uh, what?
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On June 11 2014 04:53 Emnjay808 wrote:Show nested quote +On June 10 2014 20:46 MarlieChurphy wrote:On June 10 2014 18:09 Toadesstern wrote:sad thing he never started playing moeboats. He might have been the first person to ever be happy to get a Kirishima: + Show Spoiler [picture] +On June 10 2014 11:39 CecilSunkure wrote:
How does grabbing a pallet save turtles? rofl [22:54] <Toad|> wait, this guy does raise a good question
[22:54] <Toad|> "Is no one else here questioning how biodegradable driftwood was going to even hurt the turtles in the first place?"
[23:03] * Toad| slaps Emnjay808 around a bit with a large trout
[23:04] <Emnjay808> ?
[23:04] <Toad|> how does driftwood hurt turtles?
[23:04] <Emnjay808> we used wooden pallets for the bonfire
[23:04] <Emnjay808> if these things ram into a turtle theyre dead learning something new every day Ironically, the drifting wood would actually help baby turtles, as scientists recently discovered that is how they traverse oceans. By finding large things to rest on and let the currents take them. However, the logic they are basing off is that old pic of the turtle that had a belt or some plastic soda can holder stuck around a turtle that grew into it and it's shell became deformed like a tree with a wire stuck in it or something. PS this is a bundles of sticks between N and Q because this story is bullshit because his logic is not consistent.
Theres a girl I work with. Met her tonight for the first time. It was at a store meeting with all the employees.
Shes super cute, nice bod, and wears megane. Everything I look for in a girl.
We go to a after party bonfire. I see this as an opportunity to get to know her more.
One of the wooden pallets gets drifted into the waves. Shes all like, "oh get that pallet, save the turtles!"
Me being the stupid drunken idiot. I run into the water and grab it. My entire lower body soaked in water.
I didnt give a fuck, I wanted to impress her.
Fuck me, my phone is wet, and my wallet is waterlogged.
I didnt care, I got to impress her.
My friend talks to me, he ends up telling me a story how that girl sucked his dick.
Fuck my life. Im so stupid.
First bold. What? You work with her and met her for the first time tonight? 2nd bold, IDGAF 3rd bold, IDGAF 4th bold, Gives a fuck. She blew my co-worker friend during a 15min break on the parking lot because of a "game of honesty". Something along the lines of asking whats your favorite color straight to "would you let me suck your dick right now?" kind of thing. Aka, shes a slut. Just to clarify on that matter. The wooden pallets are riddled with nails. Yes, those kinda hurt. I met her for the first time cause I work in a store that employs 100+ people. She works day time shift, I work graveyard shift. Is that really hard to imagine?
Your friend is a slut as well then, isn't he? xD
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I find it hard to believe this game of honesty dick sucking scenario.
Details we need moar of them.
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Netherlands6181 Posts
What if turtles actually LIKE driftwood? What if they use it to make little wooden modernist houses under the sea, nailed to the coral reefs with the rusty nails?
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On June 11 2014 23:55 icydergosu wrote:
I find it hard to believe this game of honesty dick sucking scenario.
Details we need moar of them.
Yea this sounds like either straight made up, or many details were left out.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/CsGsnaQ.png)
