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Today I had to give a presentation and although I was very nervous I pretended to be confident. Things went smoothly until the end when someone asked me a question I hadn't considered. I stumbled on the answer but nobody seemed to notice
I go out to the main lobby and see some people I know getting food from the complementary buffet whose existence we had not known about until 5 minutes ago. A large African American man whom I am slightly acquainted with came over to congratulate me and offered me a handshake. Or so I thought. I reached out my hand anticipating a handshake. What I hadn't noticed was that he was instead going for a fist touch where our fists are supposed to meet in a gesture of obvious hyper-masculinity
Long story short, me going for a handshake + him going for a fist touch = me awkwardly rubbing his fist with my fingers. If I didn't know any better the action would resemble me gently caressing a hairy ball sack
 
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You can usually see what they're going for before it happens or at least before it turns into... rubbing his fist. :3
As a personal note there are a lot of cases where I'm dodging handshakes like this (concerts, clubs etc.) but on average it seems to be rather rare, especially in a "normal" social setting like you described.
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I've had my fair of awkward handshakes the past month and I feel you.
But I haven't had the interaction of fist caressing yet. New level of awkward. Anyway, he was wrong, you were right. Handshakes are first base. Fist bumps would be second base I'd say.
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In sports you always keep your eye on the ball...
You must not have looked at his hand
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I hate it when you go for a handshake, and you THINK the person you are shaking hands with is going for a regular hand shake, but the moment your skin touches his skin, he flips it on you and starts doing some gangster ass flip flap paddy whack bullshit. Just shake my fuckin hand like a grown up, dude.
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awkward hugs are worse, but I feel you buddy.
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My younger brother purposely goes for a high five when I start with a pound, and goes for a pound when I go for a high five. Both instances end up looking like a "paper covers rock" action in rock, paper, scissors.
It's kind of fucked up, but maybe it'll inspire someone else to mess with people's heads (and hands).
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When I graduated from college the dean clamped down on my fingers ruining my handshake. I was rather upset about that. All this time and I get shafted on my handshake!
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A black guy was telling me how awkward it was when people tried to give him "dap" when all he wanted was a handshake just because he was black.
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I hate when I get a limp/weak handshake. It should be firm.
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On May 08 2014 12:43 Silentness wrote:
A black guy was telling me how awkward it was when people tried to give him "dap" when all he wanted was a handshake just because he was black.
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I hate when I get a limp/weak handshake. It should be firm.
Is "dap" when you grab their arm and pull them in for a half-hug?
I do that all the time when I can tell something is going to be awkward, because it makes the person more comfortable usually.
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United States97277 Posts
Instead of going for the fist rub you should have gone for the awkward snail handshake. You slide your open hand past his first and close your fingers until you're holding up the number 2 which you keep upright. His fist then becomes the snail's shell while your wrist, hand, and 2 outstretched fingers become the snail's body, head, and eyestalks. works every time
there's also awkward turkey if you were going in for a high five and he is doing a fist bump
+ Show Spoiler +
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Hong Kong9179 Posts
After a while, you can work on points for style (like the firm handshake), a certain look in the eye and an easy smile. You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to, so that when they turn their backs on you, you'll get the chance to put the knife in
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United Kingdom31935 Posts
On May 08 2014 13:37 itsjustatank wrote:
After a while, you can work on points for style (like the firm handshake), a certain look in the eye and an easy smile. You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to, so that when they turn their backs on you, you'll get the chance to put the knife in
Wise words to live by
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On May 08 2014 15:33 GumBa wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2014 13:37 itsjustatank wrote:
After a while, you can work on points for style (like the firm handshake), a certain look in the eye and an easy smile. You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to, so that when they turn their backs on you, you'll get the chance to put the knife in Wise words to live by
Cuntish yet good advice. I think it's people like him that prevent good things. But then again if can lie, why work? People.....
I think when handshakes go wrong its funny.
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Should have grabbed his wrist, pulled him closer and whispered in his ear.
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I feel like this could be the new big thing!
Grab the fist!
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You can always save the situation with a big smile and "wazzup my nizzle".
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United States35 Posts
You do know a handshake can kill a man, always remember not to shake hands. Just look at the Amish they kick you out for shaking hands if they 'wood' do that there must be a reason!
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TLADT24920 Posts
Best method is to watch their hand as you go for the handshake then quickly make it into a fist to fist bump(or fist touch) as you see it coming.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://www.melissakuo.com/images/assets/awkwardhandshakes/project_awk-motion@2x.jpg)
