EPTYou might wonder why I write about this now. Well the awful stabbing teenager in the news from yesterday brought back memories of my own shitty teenage life, where I didn't do anything that would land me in police custody but I was basically shitting myself from humiliation.
I know that many years have passed since then, but when I think back on that summer, everything seems so terrible and gloomy and desperate. This was the summer before I started high school damn it.
1)
Let me say the positive thing that paradoxically made that summer utter crap. Summer of 2002 my family went on a non stop vacation where my dad got a job in Las Vegas so we got to stay for almost free in Vegas and then we hopped back and forth between LA, San Fran, Vegas, and even went to Hawaii. When you compare against that nothing ever comes close god damn it. We were also watching the world cup in a bar when a hot 19 year old came up to me and asked me personal questions and flirted (remember I was a mature looking 13 year old).
2)
I was getting bullied. Couple of dudes in my school thought it would be cool to pick on me. They would push me against the black wall in gym class when I wore a black sweatsuit to look gangsta fly and call me ninja. The worst atrocity was the depantsing epidemic of the eighth grade. These same boys would de pants me in gym class while the teacher was busy looking the other way (he also got caught having sex with a 16 year old later and was blacklisted, became a sex offender and probably escaped to Mexico). Some of these guys drew penises on my locker. I remember one guy distinctly he had shaggy long blonde hair and was probably a hippie and never showered because he always smelled like sweat all the time. Another guy was proud that he flunked out of algebra. I had enough when they told me to jump in a puddle after it had rained all week. I punched one guy straight in the face but then he hired his trained mercenary the next day to take me out. Remember this guy was probably like 6 foot 3 and 230 pounds or some shit like that
3)
My brother was 5 years old at the time. And all of the people my family became friends with had kids who were my brother's age or younger. That meant I was always the odd one at family friend parties and picnics. I'm calling bullshit when adults expect me to enjoy myself by myself at Chucke Cheese. Then there was the boat trip. One of my brother's friends had a smoking hot mother, I was totally in love with her even though she was like 35. We were having a boat race to a nearby island in the middle of the lake and his mom started dancing sexily on the way. That was hot but also bad in the sense I knew I could never bang her. It was also weird in the strange era of nonexistent computer security when I went on some adult's computer and saw porn folders, and then my parents got mad when they saw me hiding porn too. It's weird when you see adults and you know they watch porn it's like I knew a dirty little secret about that fucker.
4)
Porn was a big part of my life back then. Now it's different because we have technology. I would steal as many porn magazines as I could and hide them in secret places around the house. Under my bed was a good idea until I got totally busted by my mom who went into good parent speech mode when she told me that boobs and ass are useless and I should focus on smart girls. That was not going to happen as I was intensely focused on Asian porn at the time not related to my love of starcraft in any way. The worst thing that happened was I was in the bathroom when one of my favorite magazines fell in the fucking toilet. I was so turned on that I had to rub one out before I cleaned the pages with soap.
5)
Shitty entertainment. When you have things like 50 Cent, Scooby Doo the movie, the history of Playboy being featured on the History channel of all places, and Spiderman videogames with playstation one graphics, you can imagine how much your life sucks. I couldn't go anywhere without seeing ghetto "fashion" and/or guys showing their buttcracks. I did have some friends but we would all sit bored and tired in class all the time doing nothing. I was watching Austin Powers international man of mystery when I realized how hot that British chick was. Then one day I told my friend about my preferred masturbation style. Before I know it the whole fucking school knows that I masturbate with a banana. It started off as a joke. But then I had girls I liked start giving me dirty looks and tell me go fuck myself. Some people even thought I was gay.
6)
My failure in academics was the icing on the cake. You know you're bullshitting your way through school when a teacher publicly humiliates you in front of the whole class. I remember that day fondly and I am nostalgic about it oddly. He said "If Steve was half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be a genius". I know those are only words but that shit hurt deep. This man was a trusted guy he was a Vietnam veteran and I thought he had my back but before I know it he turned me in like the fucking vietcong. We were also studying Shakespeare and I got the crazy idea to write all my essays in every class and every homework assignment like Shakespeare. That alienated me from everyone else and people started caring less and less about me due to my attitude, alleged superiority, and sexually promiscuous behavior befitting of a loser.
7)
Insomnia was big one as well. My dad used to work in the World Trade Center when the planes hit in 2001. He escaped but he didn't have a job for a year after that. We were all nervous and he terrorized us constantly. One time his tempter flared and he beat the crap out of me with a belt like he was in his old country. He was also paranoid about the police around this time and he told us turn off all the lights in the house and saw and heard voices in his head. Also this is totally unrelated but I had watched a lot of ghost movies and was a big addict of paranormal stories so I would literally stay up in my room at night thinking and feeling stuff that wasn't actually there. One time I went to take a piss during my usual late night jack off sessions (pro tip don't drink 5 glasses of water before bed you'll have to piss 5 times in the span of 1 hour). And then I heard it. The old lady who used to live in our house before us had a husband who died in some war. I always thought that guy was around the house. I heard a radio playing downstairs. The next morning I asked my mom and my brother if they had turned on a radio before falling asleep. None of them knew what the fuck I was talking about. Funny that never happened again but I always thought he would come back to strangle me while I was sleeping.
8)
I also happened to have some pretty severe constipation during this time. A lot of this had to do with eating pizza almost every day of summer. But a lot was my body was adjusting to staying awake for long periods of time. My mom told me to eat more fiber by which she meant eat oatmeal with your cereal a banana every day. My best friend from elementary school was this guy who lived maybe an hour away by car. I only got to seem him like once a month. Remember this was before Facebook, hell this was before myspace. So anyway my friend had this weird obsession with drawing naked anime girls aka hentai at that time. He was also into lots of other cool things like sci fi, martial arts (Bruce Lee san), soccer, and ping pong. I used to sleepover at his house whenever I could. He had a younger sister about 8 years old who is in college now but I used to think she was really good looking and I might have predicted the future because she went on to do some part time modeling work. I would write adventure stories about my friend, his sister, and some cool guys from school as we tried to save the world. We would have crazy stories at sleepovers like whether you would have sex with god if god was a she and it hurt and god told you to keep going. Every morning we'd play Mario Kart and FIFA soccer and Super smash brothers melee on his gamecube. One morning he saw my jerking off to his magazine of a naked anime girl. I was so shocked I almost farted in his face. We stayed friends and continued to watch porn together on occasion in between breaks of ping pong. Now I think back it's a bittersweet memory as his father recently passed away after a long battle with cancer.
