• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 16:44
CEST 22:44
KST 05:44
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
TL.net Map Contest #21: Voting10[ASL20] Ro4 Preview: Descent11Team TLMC #5: Winners Announced!3[ASL20] Ro8 Preview Pt2: Holding On9Maestros of the Game: Live Finals Preview (RO4)5
Community News
Weekly Cups (Oct 13-19): Clem Goes for Four0BSL Team A vs Koreans - Sat-Sun 16:00 CET6Weekly Cups (Oct 6-12): Four star herO85.0.15 Patch Balance Hotfix (2025-10-8)80Weekly Cups (Sept 29-Oct 5): MaxPax triples up3
StarCraft 2
General
The New Patch Killed Mech! Team Liquid Map Contest #21 - Presented by Monster Energy herO joins T1 Weekly Cups (Oct 13-19): Clem Goes for Four TL.net Map Contest #21: Voting
Tourneys
SC2's Safe House 2 - October 18 & 19 INu's Battles #13 - ByuN vs Zoun Tenacious Turtle Tussle Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament $1,200 WardiTV October (Oct 21st-31st)
Strategy
Custom Maps
Map Editor closed ?
External Content
Mutation # 496 Endless Infection Mutation # 495 Rest In Peace Mutation # 494 Unstable Environment Mutation # 493 Quick Killers
Brood War
General
BSL Season 21 BW General Discussion BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ BW caster Sayle BSL Team A vs Koreans - Sat-Sun 16:00 CET
Tourneys
Azhi's Colosseum - Anonymous Tournament [ASL20] Semifinal B [Megathread] Daily Proleagues SC4ALL $1,500 Open Bracket LAN
Strategy
[I] TvZ Strategies and Builds Current Meta BW - ajfirecracker Strategy & Training Relatively freeroll strategies
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread Path of Exile Dawn of War IV ZeroSpace Megathread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion LiquidDota to reintegrate into TL.net
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread SPIRED by.ASL Mafia {211640}
Community
General
Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Men's Fashion Thread Sex and weight loss
Fan Clubs
The herO Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
Series you have seen recently... Anime Discussion Thread [Manga] One Piece Movie Discussion!
Sports
Formula 1 Discussion 2024 - 2026 Football Thread MLB/Baseball 2023 NBA General Discussion TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
SC2 Client Relocalization [Change SC2 Language] Linksys AE2500 USB WIFI keeps disconnecting Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List Recent Gifted Posts
Blogs
The Heroism of Pepe the Fro…
Peanutsc
Rocket League: Traits, Abili…
TrAiDoS
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 1583 users

How I Want To Live and Love Life

Blogs > NeuroticPsychosis
Post a Reply
NeuroticPsychosis
Profile Blog Joined September 2013
United States322 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-07 06:55:55
April 07 2014 06:50 GMT
#1
Sometimes in life I get this feeling.

Everyone wants to change the world. Everyone wants to make a difference, to leave a positive contribution, so when they're gone, they will still be more than alive in the hearts of those whose lives they have touched.

Others simply go through life without any real meaning or purpose. They are lost from the day they are born, constantly indoctrinated by education and later profession, and are no wiser after having spent many decades on this planet.

Maybe the extent of their learning is how to better navigate social situations. Deep down there is the lingering fear...maybe I am truly worthless, useless, expendable. Maybe my existence does not matter as much as I seem to believe.

So I've been pushed through school where hopefully I take an interest in something and pursue it or otherwise do what's expected of me. I get a job where I am at the mercy of my employer and forced to do things his way. Or even if I get some degree of autonomy and freedom, I am led to believe that my actions have an impact on the organization and the larger world. When really I'm looking at the paycheck because if I don't do this job, someone else will. And taking pleasure in work makes things less monotonous which is an incentive to stay, but of course it's a personal benefit to you and no one else really cares.

I get money and spend some and invest some and save some. Then the cycle repeats itself. What's the point of having friends, to make life less painful or more enjoyable? Making conversation is a temporary escape from gray and dull life. I enjoy company on occasion but frequently feel exhausted after social occurrences. One could say this is a classic sign of an introvert and I would be inclined to agree.

Lately I've noticed, the only time I feel most "alive" is during raw emotional moments, episodes whether in films, television, or (rarely) real life that are so emotionally gripping and sentimentally powerful that I can't stop tears and can't prevent thinking about it for hours after the fact. Ever since I was a child, I have loved adventure and often pondered going on exciting journeys that I could imagine would thrill and invigorate me. But, as is usually the case, with age comes maturity and consequently a sense of practicality and pragmatism that is both shrewd and suffocating.

At the end of the day, who cares? Who am I tying to impress?
Humans are primitive despite their technology and egos.
We measure time in seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years.
Our ancestors living in caves only cared about when the sun rose and set.
I often think about time, how it's such an illusion.
I'm not a physicist or a philosopher, but I think it would be neat to go back to 1977 when my father was the age I am right now.

I realize I'm not special when my best friend's father dies after suffering in silence for so long because he had lost the ability to speak for months before dying due to a stroke. I am deeply humbled when a 5 year old boy wants me to lift him up so he can touch the ceiling or tells me about how his father used to drink alcohol but stopped, and I can see in his eyes that he realizes his father wants to be there for his son, to see him grow and become a beautiful person. And I realize I'm not so special because this boy can see so much and think so much more than I would ever have given him credit for.

I'm not afraid of dying. I'm only afraid of not living.
I keep a photo of my parents smiling faces and whenever I think about doing anything, I wonder how they would react if they were right there beside me. People will say, oh you're so innocent and straightforward, that's fine with me. It took a lot of tragedy and self reflection for me to become this honest, I wasn't always like this. Like that 5 year old, who has yet to experience life, I too have yet to experience life. I was born many many years before he was, but that doesn't make me any smarter or more important of a person. So, you keep your attitude, I will keep mine.

I'm tired of running from the truth. In life there aren't always clear cut answers, but the key is in the understanding, in the thought process used to arrive at a certain answer. In other words it's like people say, the journey is more important than the destination. That's how I want to be. We are led to believe that life is a race where everyone can be winners, but in reality running that race will make everyone losers in the end. Reality is ambiguous and there isn't always only one answer.

I want to imagine what life is like for you and that other person. I want to hear other people's stories.
I want to keep things simple because there are already enough complicated and twisted things in life.
I want to smile, laugh, and cry for no reason at all, except that I can.
And I want to be a person who can be completely impartial and see things the way they are, not how I wish they could be.

***
intricate, elaborate, articulate, crystallize, conceptualize, synthesize
Xapti
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada2473 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-07 09:37:59
April 07 2014 09:37 GMT
#2
From the title, I was expecting a bit more specificity; that seemed very vague.
"Then he told me to tell you that he wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire" — "Well, you tell him that I said that I wouldn't piss on him if he was on Jeopardy!"
marvellosity
Profile Joined January 2011
United Kingdom36161 Posts
April 07 2014 10:16 GMT
#3
I was expecting something a bit more profound, a la closing elevator doors on girls.
[15:15] <Palmar> and yes marv, you're a total hottie
EJK
Profile Blog Joined September 2013
United States1302 Posts
April 07 2014 13:09 GMT
#4
if you want answers, invest in a therapist. They help you coax your m ind to reach answers to these questions
Sc2 Terran Coach, top 16GM NA - interested in coaching? Message me on teamliquid!
Marcinko
Profile Joined May 2013
South Africa1014 Posts
April 07 2014 14:41 GMT
#5
On April 07 2014 19:16 marvellosity wrote:
I was expecting something a bit more profound, a la closing elevator doors on girls.


That was an epic blog post and a true life lesson.
....
Saechiis
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Netherlands4989 Posts
April 07 2014 14:52 GMT
#6
TL:DR.

I'm but a grain of sand in the desert of existence. Worn down by winds of time rushing nowhere. I look for answers in the dust.
I think esports is pretty nice.
Deleuze
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United Kingdom2102 Posts
April 07 2014 18:22 GMT
#7


You should clearly pursue this:

Lately I've noticed, the only time I feel most "alive" is during raw emotional moments, episodes whether in films, television, or (rarely) real life that are so emotionally gripping and sentimentally powerful that I can't stop tears and can't prevent thinking about it for hours after the fact. Ever since I was a child, I have loved adventure and often pondered going on exciting journeys that I could imagine would thrill and invigorate me. But, as is usually the case, with age comes maturity and consequently a sense of practicality and pragmatism that is both shrewd and suffocating.


“An image of thought called philosophy has been formed historically and it effectively stops people from thinking.” ― Gilles Deleuze, Dialogues II
ilovekimchi
Profile Joined February 2013
United States18 Posts
April 07 2014 19:36 GMT
#8
I had the same thought process as you last year. I got totally bored working a retail job and woke up one morning and joined the army. It's not for everyone but i'm out of my boring life and gained some awesome medical skills (im a medic) and I leave for korea in 1 week! Life is what you make it, if you want some adventure go grab it.
pebble444
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Italy2498 Posts
April 08 2014 09:54 GMT
#9
On April 08 2014 03:22 Deleuze wrote:
http://youtu.be/TiMO3PWziZk

You should clearly pursue this:

Show nested quote +
Lately I've noticed, the only time I feel most "alive" is during raw emotional moments, episodes whether in films, television, or (rarely) real life that are so emotionally gripping and sentimentally powerful that I can't stop tears and can't prevent thinking about it for hours after the fact. Ever since I was a child, I have loved adventure and often pondered going on exciting journeys that I could imagine would thrill and invigorate me. But, as is usually the case, with age comes maturity and consequently a sense of practicality and pragmatism that is both shrewd and suffocating.




what film is this
"Awaken my Child, and embrace the Glory that is your Birthright"
Defessus
Profile Joined July 2011
United States164 Posts
April 08 2014 15:53 GMT
#10
On April 08 2014 18:54 pebble444 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 08 2014 03:22 Deleuze wrote:
http://youtu.be/TiMO3PWziZk

You should clearly pursue this:

Lately I've noticed, the only time I feel most "alive" is during raw emotional moments, episodes whether in films, television, or (rarely) real life that are so emotionally gripping and sentimentally powerful that I can't stop tears and can't prevent thinking about it for hours after the fact. Ever since I was a child, I have loved adventure and often pondered going on exciting journeys that I could imagine would thrill and invigorate me. But, as is usually the case, with age comes maturity and consequently a sense of practicality and pragmatism that is both shrewd and suffocating.




what film is this


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096928/quotes

Guy in red is a very young Keanu Reeves

https://www.google.com/search?q=keanu reeves&oq=keanu reeves
pebble444
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Italy2498 Posts
April 09 2014 06:44 GMT
#11
On April 09 2014 00:53 Defessus wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 08 2014 18:54 pebble444 wrote:
On April 08 2014 03:22 Deleuze wrote:
http://youtu.be/TiMO3PWziZk

You should clearly pursue this:

Lately I've noticed, the only time I feel most "alive" is during raw emotional moments, episodes whether in films, television, or (rarely) real life that are so emotionally gripping and sentimentally powerful that I can't stop tears and can't prevent thinking about it for hours after the fact. Ever since I was a child, I have loved adventure and often pondered going on exciting journeys that I could imagine would thrill and invigorate me. But, as is usually the case, with age comes maturity and consequently a sense of practicality and pragmatism that is both shrewd and suffocating.




what film is this


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096928/quotes

Guy in red is a very young Keanu Reeves

https://www.google.com/search?q=keanu reeves&oq=keanu reeves

Thank you! ye i was like that Kenu Reaves my favorite actor and what is this film i never saw
"Awaken my Child, and embrace the Glory that is your Birthright"
Deleuze
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United Kingdom2102 Posts
April 09 2014 17:25 GMT
#12
On April 09 2014 15:44 pebble444 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 09 2014 00:53 Defessus wrote:
On April 08 2014 18:54 pebble444 wrote:
On April 08 2014 03:22 Deleuze wrote:
http://youtu.be/TiMO3PWziZk

You should clearly pursue this:

Lately I've noticed, the only time I feel most "alive" is during raw emotional moments, episodes whether in films, television, or (rarely) real life that are so emotionally gripping and sentimentally powerful that I can't stop tears and can't prevent thinking about it for hours after the fact. Ever since I was a child, I have loved adventure and often pondered going on exciting journeys that I could imagine would thrill and invigorate me. But, as is usually the case, with age comes maturity and consequently a sense of practicality and pragmatism that is both shrewd and suffocating.




what film is this


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096928/quotes

Guy in red is a very young Keanu Reeves

https://www.google.com/search?q=keanu reeves&oq=keanu reeves

Thank you! ye i was like that Kenu Reaves my favorite actor and what is this film i never saw


I feel so old right now, there's a sequel too.
“An image of thought called philosophy has been formed historically and it effectively stops people from thinking.” ― Gilles Deleuze, Dialogues II
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Monday Night Weeklies
16:00
#27
Clem vs MaxPaxLIVE!
WardiTV1633
TKL 523
IndyStarCraft 272
BRAT_OK 27
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
TKL 523
IndyStarCraft 272
UpATreeSC 100
JuggernautJason45
BRAT_OK 27
StarCraft: Brood War
Britney 12658
Calm 2712
Sea 1181
Soulkey 129
Dewaltoss 127
Mini 82
Aegong 56
Movie 11
NaDa 10
Shine 5
Dota 2
monkeys_forever212
Counter-Strike
pashabiceps1127
Stewie2K342
Heroes of the Storm
Liquid`Hasu460
Khaldor204
Other Games
FrodaN2370
Grubby2312
ScreaM1311
fl0m844
Beastyqt776
Mlord358
shahzam352
ToD331
Skadoodle178
C9.Mang0159
Trikslyr73
B2W.Neo65
Mew2King40
Organizations
Counter-Strike
PGL503
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 13 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• kabyraGe 172
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Other Games
• imaqtpie1942
• Shiphtur263
Upcoming Events
Replay Cast
2h 16m
Wardi Open
14h 16m
Wardi Open
17h 46m
PiGosaur Monday
1d 3h
Replay Cast
1d 13h
Tenacious Turtle Tussle
2 days
The PondCast
2 days
OSC
2 days
WardiTV Invitational
3 days
Online Event
3 days
[ Show More ]
RSL Revival
4 days
RSL Revival
4 days
WardiTV Invitational
4 days
Afreeca Starleague
5 days
Snow vs Soma
Sparkling Tuna Cup
5 days
WardiTV Invitational
5 days
CrankTV Team League
5 days
RSL Revival
5 days
Wardi Open
6 days
CrankTV Team League
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Acropolis #4 - TS2
WardiTV TLMC #15
HCC Europe

Ongoing

BSL 21 Points
ASL Season 20
CSL 2025 AUTUMN (S18)
C-Race Season 1
IPSL Winter 2025-26
EC S1
Thunderpick World Champ.
CS Asia Championships 2025
ESL Pro League S22
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2
BLAST Open Fall 2025
BLAST Open Fall Qual
Esports World Cup 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall Qual

Upcoming

SC4ALL: Brood War
BSL Season 21
BSL 21 Team A
BSL 21 Non-Korean Championship
RSL Offline Finals
RSL Revival: Season 3
Stellar Fest
SC4ALL: StarCraft II
CranK Gathers Season 2: SC II Pro Teams
eXTREMESLAND 2025
ESL Impact League Season 8
SL Budapest Major 2025
BLAST Rivals Fall 2025
IEM Chengdu 2025
PGL Masters Bucharest 2025
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.