Diablo 2 Lord Of Destruction Battle Report 6

Of course, by now, my antics have spread throughout Lut Gholein. I fixed the town’s plumbing. I turned the sun back on after those snakes blotted it out. Monsters are afraid to come through the wide open gates because I’m still in here. The townspeople should be paying me for all the work I do around here, instead of charging me ridiculous prices for armor. Don’t they want me to protect everyone better? Shouldn’t they be giving me their stuff instead?

The only person in this town who seems to show a little gratitude for my hard work is Lord Jerhyn, who grants me access to his private harems. The pretty ladies inside must have been anxiously awaiting me as Emilio and I stood outside, talking to Jerhyn.


When I finally entered though, there were no pretty ladies to be found.


“This place does not look very sexy,” I thought. The absence of women, the atrocious scenery (who picked out these rugs?!), the absence of women. I could tell I was in for some disappointment upon arrival.

My thoughts were confirmed when, upon going deeper, I was attacked by some black skeletons throwing snowballs at me!


It was hard to ignore these pranksters, but neither Emilio nor I were built for the cold. We ran through there, best we could, until we came across a mysterious portal, guarded by more katana-wielding super mutants. Emilio picked up his stick and started poking at them with it. You can see in the picture many of them are drenched red with blood.

These guys could be basketball players!

After finishing the cleanup (we mopped the floor with those guys!), Emilio and I entered through the portal which took us to OUTER SPACE!!!

”I don’t think we’re in Kansas Lut Gholein anymore, Emilio.”

I held my breath, just like the astronauts do when they go to the moon, and selected a path to go down.

“This must be the correct path!” I thought. “My will tells me that this is the path of righteousness!” I started running up the path toward the top-left, convinced that it was the path I must take...



“Hot Damn, I chose right, first time! We've not had such luck since the Maggot Lair!” I mentioned to Emilio as he picked off some red communist goats.

The Summoner started shooting ice and fire at me from off-screen. I charged at him like a madman as he laughed at me. Emilio stood back and butchered some goats as I dodged The Summoner's shots left and right before finally attacking.



Emilio nearly died in the engagement, but I managed to keep him alive to fulfill his lust for vengeance.
After stabbing The Summoner multiple times, Emilio and I took his portal back to more desert (bye space!), where we managed to find the true tomb of Tal-Rasha using some serious detective work.

“Hmmm, yes. These symbols look close enough. Lets try this tomb.”

Upon entering, I was almost immediately surrounded by fat people, whom I can only think wanted an autograph from their favorite hero.


Emilio, taken aback at not being asked for an autograph, went Emilio on their asses and started stabbing wildly. They didn’t last more than a few seconds each.

Emilios thirst for blood makes him stronger with every kill.

We continued wandering around the tomb until we came across a shrine room built for the gods. Those heretics wouldn’t know a god if it smacked them in the face while its companion stabbed them repeatedly.


“Stick the stick in there!” Emilio told me. I pulled out my Horadric Staff and planted it within the orifice. Lightning shot forth and blasted a hole in the wall. If there were homeowners for this tomb, they wouldn’t be very happy. I checked my inventory one last time before heading in.



I think I need more health potions.

To be continued...