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I'm 24 and my brother is 16. As the older sibling you remember the times when they were babies and children. 8 years is a big enough gap that I can completely picture the night my parents brought him home for the first time from the hospital. One of his eyes was open and the other one was closed (almost as if he wasn't sure about what he was getting himself into, coming into this world). I didn't like this baby at first but he grew on me. Soon he was showing me his toys and copying me whenever he could. His antics became a source of joy for me. This protective instinct basically consumes you...you want to protect them and help them and teach them. I saw this baby transform into a curious child with a big smile and now into a handsome confident young man. When my younger brother gets in trouble I feel my own tears welling up in my eyes. I can feel his pain and his thoughts. Sometimes we share inside jokes not even our parents understand.
Growing up is a fact of life, nobody can stop time or turn back the clock. But the bond that an older sibling has to the younger one is a special emotional connection that can never be broken. I fell in love with this baby when he started recognizing me like he knew his mother and father. I won't forget those days when I would sleepover at a friend's house and would hear my brother (maybe only 2 or 3 years old at the time) screaming and crying because he didn't see me at home and he couldn't understand what was going on. As he grew older he stopped crying but it was clear to me whenever he got upset. These moments never come back, but the respect and compassion and mutual love I have for my younger brother will never diminish or die down. He can be 20 or 30 years old and he will still be my little brother. And no matter what happens, I will still remember him as that baby with one eye open, or that child who was always smiling, or that awkward young teenager trying to discover his identity and find his place in the world.
But the present is the present and what we have is mutual respect and compassion. When I'm in a tough spot he will have something interesting or funny to say to lighten the mood. And I know he deeply cares about me as well although he might not always directly express it. I'm constantly amazed at how smart he is and what a person of character he's become.
 
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TLADT24920 Posts
Good blog. Glad to see that you get along well enough with your brother 
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1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
I am so glad this read "B... rother"
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On February 18 2014 14:48 lichter wrote:
I am so glad this read "B... rother"
What did you think B stood for?
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Good read. Thanks for this.
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Funny I'm 24 and my younger bros are 23 and 16. Similar feelings towards both of them.
The 23 year old always had problems in school, whether it was with the work or with other kids. God knows how many times I had to intervene or get some of my friends to help me beat the shit out of someone who wouldn't leave him alone. He had severe depression issues in highschool and tried to commit suicide, fucking made me feel so goddamn bad like what else could I have done to help him? Thankfully he has come out of that and is doing fine now. 16yo is a good kid and has more in common with me but if I had to I'd do anything for him as well.
Still love going home and seeing them, talking, catching up, playing videogames or watching a movie.
I guess these feelings transfer to your woman/kids when you have them? I dunno I'm not at that point yet. I guess it would be an even stronger feeling of love and protection.
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You know, if someone picked on my younger brother i would probably beat the shit out of him. The only one who can do that and get away with it should be me. If my best friend was getting picked on, meh... he can handle it himself
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I rated this 5/5 easy. One of your best blogs ever. Glad to know there are someone who is willing to let people know about this kind of stuff.
By the way i don't have a younger brother/sister since i am in fact the youngest. Good to know that a lot elder siblings feel this way.
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This blog makes me feel two different emotions: happiness mixed in with the envy that started creeping up in me. I am very glad to see that not all sibling relationships are as bad as some can be. You see, my biggest wish has always been to have a younger brother that I can talk to whenever I need to get advice or to just lighten up my mood when things aren't running smoothly. I can vaguely make out how my baby brother looked when we went to see him at the hospital after he was born. I was 4 at the time, and I recall how I could barely contain myself after hearing my mother say that I was going to have a brother. The excitement built up to that day that he was born, but was immediately shattered the next day by the news of him "being with Jesus" now. My brother died because of complications after birth, and the doctors either could not say what the cause was or withheld information about their own incompetence. To think that my grandparents and I all went to visit him the night before, seeing the small bundle that was still healthy at that point in time.
2 years later my sister was born, with the age gap being 6 years between the two of us. She is 14 now and going through that difficult stage now, and our relationship has never been good since her age hit double digits. Before that I would always play with her and teach her new things. She used to look up at me as her big brother. Now I feel like the bond between us has broken a long time ago, and reparations will never be able to done.
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This was a good read but I prefer your regular blogs.
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Good blog.. quite touching
On February 18 2014 19:01 NeThZOR wrote:
Now I feel like the bond between us has broken a long time ago, and reparations will never be able to done.
As for this, it will definitely be possible to repair the bond. My sister is three years older than me and growing up we were always at odds. She'd always get me in trouble and vice versa and we were just completely different people. We are about as polar opposite personality wise as you can get and she used to always tease me and make fun of me growing up. But now that we are both adults and she has kids, we have repaired our relationship greatly and have grown closer in the past few years.
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On February 18 2014 19:01 NeThZOR wrote:
This blog makes me feel two different emotions: happiness mixed in with the envy that started creeping up in me. I am very glad to see that not all sibling relationships are as bad as some can be. You see, my biggest wish has always been to have a younger brother that I can talk to whenever I need to get advice or to just lighten up my mood when things aren't running smoothly. I can vaguely make out how my baby brother looked when we went to see him at the hospital after he was born. I was 4 at the time, and I recall how I could barely contain myself after hearing my mother say that I was going to have a brother. The excitement built up to that day that he was born, but was immediately shattered the next day by the news of him "being with Jesus" now. My brother died because of complications after birth, and the doctors either could not say what the cause was or withheld information about their own incompetence. To think that my grandparents and I all went to visit him the night before, seeing the small bundle that was still healthy at that point in time.
2 years later my sister was born, with the age gap being 6 years between the two of us. She is 14 now and going through that difficult stage now, and our relationship has never been good since her age hit double digits. Before that I would always play with her and teach her new things. She used to look up at me as her big brother. Now I feel like the bond between us has broken a long time ago, and reparations will never be able to done.
The path to redemption is easy young elder brother. Just give to her. Emotional gifts. Material gifts. And the bond will be grown. SIblings are programmed for love.
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On February 18 2014 19:01 NeThZOR wrote:
This blog makes me feel two different emotions: happiness mixed in with the envy that started creeping up in me. I am very glad to see that not all sibling relationships are as bad as some can be. You see, my biggest wish has always been to have a younger brother that I can talk to whenever I need to get advice or to just lighten up my mood when things aren't running smoothly. I can vaguely make out how my baby brother looked when we went to see him at the hospital after he was born. I was 4 at the time, and I recall how I could barely contain myself after hearing my mother say that I was going to have a brother. The excitement built up to that day that he was born, but was immediately shattered the next day by the news of him "being with Jesus" now. My brother died because of complications after birth, and the doctors either could not say what the cause was or withheld information about their own incompetence. To think that my grandparents and I all went to visit him the night before, seeing the small bundle that was still healthy at that point in time.
2 years later my sister was born, with the age gap being 6 years between the two of us. She is 14 now and going through that difficult stage now, and our relationship has never been good since her age hit double digits. Before that I would always play with her and teach her new things. She used to look up at me as her big brother. Now I feel like the bond between us has broken a long time ago, and reparations will never be able to done.
I have had a similar relationship, but with an older sister. We were close until she went through that difficult time, and it has been hard for us to stay in touch. I think little by little is the way to make things better. If you haven't lived up to expectations, don't let that stop you. Just give of yourself, not who you think you should be, not the bad feelings you have for not being who you think you should be, just you.
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Netherlands6191 Posts
This blog makes me sad. But it's good to see you getting on so well with your brother. I'm 23 and my sister is 16, I watched her grow up too. But she has always been strong willed and holds grudges. She used to sneak into my room and play with my belongings, often damaging them. She killed several of my pets (long story), she copied everything I did, which (unlike OP) I disliked. We often argued and there was a massive amount of sibling rivalry between us, she would make sure I knew she was better than me etc and like to remind me.
Some days we get on amazingly and share everything, and other days we won't even talk. But I would like to think she'll calm down and mature once she hits her twenties and we will be close. However my brother, aged 10, and I get on like a house on fire ^_^ I guess because we respect each other.
That's my 2 cents.
You're lucky to have a little brother you love so much. Cherish it
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EPT
