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I found myself in the bar a few hours ago because my friend forced me to go knowing I'm antisocial. We both get drinks and sit by ourselves. I don't drink but this time I am trying to just get a taste and when I myself getting drunk I promise to back off. My friend goes to the bathroom and excuses himself.
I see a girl approach me, she is blonde and short but has a nice butt in her dress. She asks me if I am sitting alone and I say no. But she tries to sit on my lap. Thinking she is drunk and I am getting lucky, I want to kiss her because I never kissed a girl before. But I am shy and when she tries to get close or touch me, I back away.
Suddenly I see my friend is back. But he standing at a distance observing the scene. I can tell he is watching me like how a human watches a monkey in a zoo. I call my friend over because I need help with this situation but at the same time I am trying not to attract attention from anyone else.
The girl sees what I am doing. Immediately she starts calling me gay and faggot because I'm not interested in her and because she thinks my friend is my gay lover. In the madness I accidentally spill some of my beer on her breasts. And now she was very mad.
A few seconds later her boyfriend who is this big guy is standing in front of me, saying things like "what the hell". I can tell he probably wants to beat me up but I know I have my friend for backup if things gets intense.
All of a sudden her boyfriend grabs her arm and pushes her to the ground. Now he is saying stuff like "how can you do this again babe", "i am tired of telling you not to hit on random guys". And I am like lol my ass just got saved by a miracle.
Apparently the guy thinks that I am so geeky and socially awkward looking that I could never attract a girl like his girlfriend. I ask my friend later and he says he would totally have my back if a fight started but I'm not so sure he is being sincere.
 
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This is hilarious, you sound pretty akward. It goes from a drunk girl wanting to sit in your lap, to you wanting to kiss her but being too shy, to her calling you gay and you subsequently spilling beer on her tits. That alone is sitcom level humor, but the fact that her dude shows up? Wow. I'm just imagining it in my head and could definitely see it as a TV show.
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1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
did you at least try to wipe the beer off her boobs
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I imagine you´re quite buff under your glasses which is why she was attracted to you in the first place.
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i hear the US in a dangerous place 
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On February 10 2014 17:29 igay wrote:i hear the US in a dangerous place
U WOT M8?
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lol! Awesome story, besides the part where he pushed her to the ground? Sounds like a real gentleman :s
^^You really should have had good manners and wiped her boobs clean though 
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On February 10 2014 18:01 PiGStarcraft wrote:lol! Awesome story, besides the part where he pushed her to the ground? Sounds like a real gentleman :s ^^You really should have had good manners and wiped her boobs clean though
All I had was my tongue
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What would you have done if the guy started hitting the girl? Kiss the guy?
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Yeah, confused. The guy put the girl on the floor? Seems like time to call the bouncer.
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The old "whoops" I spilled beer on your breasts trick, brilliant!!!
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United Kingdom14103 Posts
On February 10 2014 18:03 NeuroticPsychosis wrote:Show nested quote +On February 10 2014 18:01 PiGStarcraft wrote:lol! Awesome story, besides the part where he pushed her to the ground? Sounds like a real gentleman :s ^^You really should have had good manners and wiped her boobs clean though All I had was my tongue
its only polite
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This stuff only happens in movies and TL blogs for most of us I guess.
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i'm so confused. this girl starts hitting on you in the most blunt way possible, and not only do you not manage to react to it, but she does this while her boyfriend is there??? yeah no, gotta call bs on that one.
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Sounds like a fabrication, but a nice one regardless
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Sounds like a how I met your mother script in one of the earlier seasons haha.
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1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
On February 11 2014 00:19 Saechiis wrote:Sounds like a fabrication, but a nice one regardless
On February 10 2014 22:53 Schelim wrote:
i'm so confused. this girl starts hitting on you in the most blunt way possible, and not only do you not manage to react to it, but she does this while her boyfriend is there??? yeah no, gotta call bs on that one.
This is the sort of thing that always seems to happen to him though
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EPT
