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Almost Got Beat Up

Blogs > NeuroticPsychosis
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
NeuroticPsychosis
Profile Blog Joined September 2013
United States322 Posts
February 10 2014 07:23 GMT
#1
I found myself in the bar a few hours ago because my friend forced me to go knowing I'm antisocial. We both get drinks and sit by ourselves. I don't drink but this time I am trying to just get a taste and when I myself getting drunk I promise to back off. My friend goes to the bathroom and excuses himself.

I see a girl approach me, she is blonde and short but has a nice butt in her dress. She asks me if I am sitting alone and I say no. But she tries to sit on my lap. Thinking she is drunk and I am getting lucky, I want to kiss her because I never kissed a girl before. But I am shy and when she tries to get close or touch me, I back away.

Suddenly I see my friend is back. But he standing at a distance observing the scene. I can tell he is watching me like how a human watches a monkey in a zoo. I call my friend over because I need help with this situation but at the same time I am trying not to attract attention from anyone else.

The girl sees what I am doing. Immediately she starts calling me gay and faggot because I'm not interested in her and because she thinks my friend is my gay lover. In the madness I accidentally spill some of my beer on her breasts. And now she was very mad.

A few seconds later her boyfriend who is this big guy is standing in front of me, saying things like "what the hell". I can tell he probably wants to beat me up but I know I have my friend for backup if things gets intense.

All of a sudden her boyfriend grabs her arm and pushes her to the ground. Now he is saying stuff like "how can you do this again babe", "i am tired of telling you not to hit on random guys". And I am like lol my ass just got saved by a miracle.

Apparently the guy thinks that I am so geeky and socially awkward looking that I could never attract a girl like his girlfriend. I ask my friend later and he says he would totally have my back if a fight started but I'm not so sure he is being sincere.

***
intricate, elaborate, articulate, crystallize, conceptualize, synthesize
Tobberoth
Profile Joined August 2010
Sweden6375 Posts
February 10 2014 07:35 GMT
#2
This is hilarious, you sound pretty akward. It goes from a drunk girl wanting to sit in your lap, to you wanting to kiss her but being too shy, to her calling you gay and you subsequently spilling beer on her tits. That alone is sitcom level humor, but the fact that her dude shows up? Wow. I'm just imagining it in my head and could definitely see it as a TV show.
lichter
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
February 10 2014 07:50 GMT
#3
did you at least try to wipe the beer off her boobs
AdministratorYOU MUST HEED MY INSTRUCTIONS TAKE OFF YOUR THIIIINGS
Daswollvieh
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
5553 Posts
February 10 2014 08:00 GMT
#4
I imagine you´re quite buff under your glasses which is why she was attracted to you in the first place.
igay
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
Australia1178 Posts
February 10 2014 08:29 GMT
#5
i hear the US in a dangerous place
MVP <3 MKP <3 DRG <3
Jerubaal
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States7684 Posts
February 10 2014 08:30 GMT
#6
On February 10 2014 17:29 igay wrote:
i hear the US in a dangerous place


U WOT M8?
I'm not stupid, a marauder just shot my brain.
Golgotha
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Korea (South)8418 Posts
February 10 2014 08:56 GMT
#7
funny story!
PiGStarcraft
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Australia987 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-10 09:01:43
February 10 2014 09:01 GMT
#8
lol! Awesome story, besides the part where he pushed her to the ground? Sounds like a real gentleman :s

^^You really should have had good manners and wiped her boobs clean though
Progamerwww.twitch.tv/x5_pig | pigrandom88@gmail.com | @x5_PiG | www.facebook.com/pigSC2
NeuroticPsychosis
Profile Blog Joined September 2013
United States322 Posts
February 10 2014 09:03 GMT
#9
On February 10 2014 18:01 PiGStarcraft wrote:
lol! Awesome story, besides the part where he pushed her to the ground? Sounds like a real gentleman :s

^^You really should have had good manners and wiped her boobs clean though

All I had was my tongue
intricate, elaborate, articulate, crystallize, conceptualize, synthesize
ii.blitzkrieg
Profile Joined November 2006
Canada1122 Posts
February 10 2014 09:05 GMT
#10
What would you have done if the guy started hitting the girl? Kiss the guy?
iloveoov / Flash / Fantasy / Midas / Boxer -BW forever
Jerubaal
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States7684 Posts
February 10 2014 09:12 GMT
#11
Yeah, confused. The guy put the girl on the floor? Seems like time to call the bouncer.
I'm not stupid, a marauder just shot my brain.
rafaliusz
Profile Joined December 2009
Poland482 Posts
February 10 2014 09:19 GMT
#12
I love this guy
Disregard
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
China10252 Posts
February 10 2014 10:56 GMT
#13
The old "whoops" I spilled beer on your breasts trick, brilliant!!!
"If I had to take a drug in order to be free, I'm screwed. Freedom exists in the mind, otherwise it doesn't exist."
Targe
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
United Kingdom14103 Posts
February 10 2014 12:38 GMT
#14
On February 10 2014 18:03 NeuroticPsychosis wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 10 2014 18:01 PiGStarcraft wrote:
lol! Awesome story, besides the part where he pushed her to the ground? Sounds like a real gentleman :s

^^You really should have had good manners and wiped her boobs clean though

All I had was my tongue

its only polite
11/5/14 CATACLYSM | The South West's worst Falco main
peacenl
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
550 Posts
February 10 2014 13:34 GMT
#15
This stuff only happens in movies and TL blogs for most of us I guess.
- One does not simply walk into a bar and start calling the shots.
- Failure doesn't mean you are a failure it just means you haven't succeeded yet.
Schelim
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Austria11528 Posts
February 10 2014 13:53 GMT
#16
i'm so confused. this girl starts hitting on you in the most blunt way possible, and not only do you not manage to react to it, but she does this while her boyfriend is there??? yeah no, gotta call bs on that one.
TY <3 Cure <3 Inno <3 Special <3
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
February 10 2014 13:56 GMT
#17
Try harder next time
Yhamm is the god of predictions
Saechiis
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Netherlands4989 Posts
February 10 2014 15:19 GMT
#18
Sounds like a fabrication, but a nice one regardless
I think esports is pretty nice.
EJK
Profile Blog Joined September 2013
United States1302 Posts
February 10 2014 16:08 GMT
#19
Sounds like a how I met your mother script in one of the earlier seasons haha.
Sc2 Terran Coach, top 16GM NA - interested in coaching? Message me on teamliquid!
lichter
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
February 10 2014 16:19 GMT
#20
On February 11 2014 00:19 Saechiis wrote:
Sounds like a fabrication, but a nice one regardless


On February 10 2014 22:53 Schelim wrote:
i'm so confused. this girl starts hitting on you in the most blunt way possible, and not only do you not manage to react to it, but she does this while her boyfriend is there??? yeah no, gotta call bs on that one.


This is the sort of thing that always seems to happen to him though
AdministratorYOU MUST HEED MY INSTRUCTIONS TAKE OFF YOUR THIIIINGS
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