EPTTo set the stage for my story, I started playing StarCraft: Broodwar in 2004 ( I was about 12 at the time). I never knew there was a proscene until my Junior year of highschool when my friend discovered the OSL Aircraft hanger finals VoD and hadn't thought much more of it until SC2 came out. Outside of this, I knew absolutely nothing about any type of competitive gaming except that pro Halo players existed.
I also come from a pretty poor-off family, which I think is what really makes this year so special to me. I don't talk a ton about it but I come from a single-parent family and have two brothers. One of them is in University right now working 2 jobs to pay his rent while staying above a 3.0, and the other is (hopefully) going to college in the coming year. My father is a disabled photographer whose life is too interesting for me to completely talk about in this thread, but he's always done his best to teach us that hard work is one of the most important keys to success in life.
All this being said, most people never heard of me until I decided to do an audio-only cover of the SPL's first StarCraft 2 season. I've said many times before how i got into SC2 and my motivation of being a progamer, but this was the first time I really sat down and focused on something other than just mindlessly laddering. The only times I casted prior to 2013 were 5 games for the IPL casting competition, and 2 online cups my former stream sponsor (Realm eSports management) paid for. I felt like a complete noob at it, but the small following I had built up on my stream encouraged me to keep at it and insisted there was a chance I could make it big.
The community feedback was amazing, and gave me a sudden determination to really see how far I could go just talking about the game I was too bad to actually be a pro at. I barely understood the metagame, but had a decent grip on how compositions interacted and was already used to doing normal commentary for my own ladder sessions. I never intended to make SNM/Whiplash look bad, but as someone with no connections it was impossible to get casts even for free online cups. I just really wanted to cast starcraft and it was the only way I could think of.
Within a few months of starting full-time casting, I had managed to get the B stream for IEM World championships after ToD helped me get my first consistent gig (Russian Starleague Season 1). Soon I would also get the opportunity to cast the first season of Acer TeamStory cup as well.
It took a while before I realized how much my commitment to attempt to cast all of these games was messing with my actual life. Since everything was in EU times, I'd often be waking up at 2am to cover tournaments, and SPL would run deep into the morning as well. I found myself eating lots of unhealthy food in order to stay awake and alert enough to cast, while sleeping through the entire day next to my computer as I waited for the games to start up again. I can't say I'm proud of the weight I put on, which to this day still haunts me as I recall being much slimmer at IPL5.
My whole family seemed to disapprove for the longest time, telling me to get a real job and that if I couldn't contribute to bills with my work then I shouldn't waste my time playing games all night. Ever since I had been kicked from University (no money for tuition/rent, I still had over 3.0 gpa) my streaming was seen as something preventing me from getting my life back on track.
There were a few times I thought things would get better. I had been offered a spot at IPL6 to be one of the main casters, my first live tournament. As the event approached I was also in contact with MLG about casting/observing for their events and was planning a meetup at their offices in NYC. Of course IPL6 never ended up happening, and to my dismay after a lengthy back and forth there didn't seem to be space for me at MLG just yet.
Then came a fateful morning during April 2012. I had to cast an ATC match, and set my alarm for 5am to make sure I was alert enough to cover the games. I saw a message from Hellspawn, someone I'd only seen on the GD show before. I was half awake, being offered my first real casting job since IPL6 was cancelled, and it would be in Sweden of all places! Imagine me, living broke on the floor of a 2-bedroom apartment being offered to work in front of tens of thousands of people on the other side of the world! I had never left the US, or even the east coast before I started getting into Starcraft.
I've already blogged enough about my experience at Dreamhack, but it really reinvigorated me and put a final end to a depression that had plagued me since my father told me he had nothing left to give for my tuition costs. People I had waited in lines to get autographs from at MLGs were suddenly offering me advice, encouraging me to keep working and to never give up.
The Summer passed quickly. I had been offered Dreamhack Winter and IEM New York months in advance, allowing me without fear of a lack of work to simply play the game I love and improve my craft. I spent a month at the ROOT house, easily one of the scariest and most fun experiences I've had this year. Everyone there was super kind to me even though I was the new kid on the block, and their help allowed me to bring my game to a new level but also my appreciation for how players really work and live in the StarCraft scene. I spent many nights talking to Drewbie about strategies and cool games we saw on WCS, him and Succeed especially giving me the push to reach top 500 of all master league players on the KR server during my stay there.
Eventually I found out there wasn't any work for me on the West Coast, and had to head home in preparation for Fragbite Masters, my second gig I'd be covering in Sweden. I miss the practice environment quite a bit, but work is work and for me it seems to only come from European companies. My father had left town after I went west and my brother back to school, so I ended up moving into a spare room in my friend's house. I've never enjoyed leeching off of people, but too many possible jobs had fallen through for me to afford my own place.
My month in Sweden really changed my perception on the world and how a lot of people seem to live in Europe. I became obsessed with the idea of public healthcare and education, two things that had made my life in the US incredibly difficult(Aside from school, I've been booted off of free child healthcare since I turned 18). It's really funny to think how other Americans despise the idea of government-run healthcare when I'd give anything just to get regular check-ups without being down thousands of dollars.
Since I came back, it's mostly been looking for work wherever it may be. I've come to terms with the possibility that I might not be able to afford much if I want to stay in StarCraft, but being flexible is simply a necessity in such a volatile scene. The time before I went to Dreamhack Winter was mostly spent working on my personal material, trying to secure enough income between events that could allow me to take care of myself if I needed to move away from Scranton. I also learned the value of things like invoices (lol) and how hard it is to present yourself to a sponsor as a commentator.
The strangest thing to occur this year was the realization that no matter what I do, there will always a vocal group of people letting me know how much they don't like who I am or what I do. I think I may be the second most easy to troll person in the scene behind Totalbiscuit. I've come to accept that I probably care too much about what random people say to me, but as a young naive man I don't think it should really be that surprising. I've gotten the vibe that most people in this community are very nice and caring, but as someone who takes feedback very seriously I realize it's simply not possible to accommodate the wishes of everyone that offers advice. I mean, while I still feel like a 20-year old kid about so many things in life, I guess eventually I'll get a thicker skin and learn to accept some people's minds just can't be changed about things.
So that's basically it, I'm of course writing this from Tyreso, Sweden at the GD Studio after casting Dreamhack, and I still have that feeling like I'm doing something that someone my age simply wouldn't normally do, talking to businesses and CEOs about contracts, invoices, and keeping my mouth shut about important things.
All in all, I'm happy about the year, and I think things can only go up from here. As long as I can continue to cover SC2 events next year I'm not really looking to start anything big like my own company, just improving my own brand and putting out content with the hopeful support of sponsors as I become more known and active in the community. Before the competitive scene really gets going again next year, I've managed to settle a few debts with friends, put a dent in my college loans, and finally made plans to purchase a tombstone for someone who's deserved it for many years.
Big thanks to those who've read this whole thing(too much for a tl;dr), and especially those who supported me in this very difficult but rewarding year for me. You all know who you are, and as always if there's ever more I can do for this scene you know you don't need money to buy my love <3
Until next time, stay Kappa and have a fantastic Christmas/whatever else you celebrate
. I hope even if you're not a fan of my casting that you understand I'm doing the best I can, and will continue to do so into the new year!
