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On Being an Office Clerk, Part 1

Blogs > SixStrings
Post a Reply
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-13 01:18:13
November 12 2013 23:53 GMT
#1
Part 1: Enticement

It sounded so enticing.

Mom drove me to the interview. I wore a nice jacket. My girlfriend was sitting in the back of the car and looked more nervous than I felt. If I got the job, we would be looking for a flat together later.

I walked into the office like I owned the place.
There were twelve applicants. Some guy in a tie and I were the only dudes. I felt obliged to nod to him. He looked nervous. We knew there were only four jobs and I guess we were all wondering who of us would have to go empty handed. The girls smelled fantastic. Some looked wonderful, some I forgot the instant I saw them.

The tests were a piece of piss. I aced the personal questions. I was confident. The old ladies in weird suits didn't scare me. I would fuck them all at one point, I thought. I pictured them beg me to fuck their asses.

"So, you're sixteen now, but seventeen by the time work stats, is that correct?"
My CV is right in front of you, you moron.
"That is correct."
"We would like you to join our team."
That's the last time I saw any of them smile.

I felt like such an adult, going to the parking lot, having a job, eight hundo a month. Fuck school when you can move in with your girlfriend, have a piss at an office and make a killing.
My mom was overjoyed. She, too, had started as an office clerk. Why she didn't warn me back then, I will never understand. Maybe she thought I'd have to make my own mistakes.

We found a neat little flat a couple of days later.
Five minutes from work. One bedroom, a living room, a roomy kitchen and a real bathtub.
We even had a balcony.

If it hadn't been for my nice flat and my girlfriend, I would have quit three weeks in.

The work wasn't just tedious, it was dull beyond words. I wrote e-mails to clients, informing them about this change and that, inquiring about arrangements they made, took their calls, smiled nicely.

A week in, the women in the office gave up the pretence of being nice.
They singled out the stunning blonde apprentice, invited her to go clubbing with them.
The more nicely they treated her, the more nasty they behaved towards the other girls.

Two weeks in, I heard the first one cry for the first time.
They had made fun of her overweight boyfriend, after he had picked her up after work.
They wouldn't stop, so she dumped him. I hated her as much as them.

Monica was in her thirties, a nice ass, decent boobs.
I didn't like her, but she was my supervisor, so we needed to get along. I didn't talk much to her besides work stuff and didn't engage in her annoying gossip. Most of all I hated her taste in music.
One day I came back from my break. My girlfriend was waiting at my desk, talking to Monica.
That night she told me laughingly Monica had lied about my coming onto her.
God bless her. My girlfriend I mean, not Monica. Fuck Monica.

After six weeks I stopped learning new stuff.
Six down, one hundred and fifty to go.

Part 1: Enticement
Part 2: Sarah
Part 3: Attitude
Part 4: Finale


*
Capped
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United Kingdom7236 Posts
November 13 2013 01:08 GMT
#2
This is all just...weird. Your writing style leads me to believe its fiction and is some form of creepypasta lol.
Useless wet fish.
Fumanchu
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Canada669 Posts
November 13 2013 02:16 GMT
#3
You mentioned before that all this was five years ago, so I'm assuming you can't remember the word for word conversations, but these substitutions are just odd. It all sounds so forced. Like it's trying too hard to be something rather than just getting out of the way and letting a story unfold.
Easy doesnt fit into grownup life.
EJK
Profile Blog Joined September 2013
United States1302 Posts
November 13 2013 02:51 GMT
#4
you work your way up, and n ext thing you know your assistant to the regional fricken manager
Sc2 Terran Coach, top 16GM NA - interested in coaching? Message me on teamliquid!
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-13 10:18:19
November 13 2013 10:11 GMT
#5
On November 13 2013 11:51 Smurfett3 wrote:
you work your way up, and n ext thing you know your assistant to the regional fricken manager


Emphasis on "to the".

These one-star ratings throughout both blogs are a bit disheartening, I have to say.
Hope the next one can do a bit better.
EJK
Profile Blog Joined September 2013
United States1302 Posts
November 13 2013 15:32 GMT
#6
On November 13 2013 19:11 SixStrings wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 13 2013 11:51 Smurfett3 wrote:
you work your way up, and n ext thing you know your assistant to the regional fricken manager


Emphasis on "to the".

These one-star ratings throughout both blogs are a bit disheartening, I have to say.
Hope the next one can do a bit better.

dont worry about it, everyone gets 1 stared. I feel like there are some trolls who just surf blogs and rate everything 1 star. The only people that escape taht are the uber popular ones who get like 20 5 stars and that 1-2 1 stars
Sc2 Terran Coach, top 16GM NA - interested in coaching? Message me on teamliquid!
MoonfireSpam
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United Kingdom1153 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-13 18:08:35
November 13 2013 18:07 GMT
#7
But now you're at university becoming a chemistry teacher. Which one is fiction or is this some Guy Richie time swapping reverse sequence of events stuff? (in which case I guess they are both fiction)
MarlieChurphy
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
United States2065 Posts
November 13 2013 22:04 GMT
#8
On November 13 2013 19:11 SixStrings wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 13 2013 11:51 Smurfett3 wrote:
you work your way up, and n ext thing you know your assistant to the regional fricken manager


Emphasis on "to the".

These one-star ratings throughout both blogs are a bit disheartening, I have to say.
Hope the next one can do a bit better.


Probably because of the way the stories are sliced, they have a vague setup/start and end even more abruptly. The writing style is decent. More than that probably, a lot of the people here are nerds and do not relate with being mean or whatever, so the content is bad and the characters are bad and people 1star believing you are a bad person.
RIP SPOR 11/24/11 NEVAR FORGET
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
November 14 2013 00:04 GMT
#9
On November 14 2013 03:07 MoonfireSpam wrote:
But now you're at university becoming a chemistry teacher. Which one is fiction or is this some Guy Richie time swapping reverse sequence of events stuff? (in which case I guess they are both fiction)


I don't see any contradiction. Why can't you quit a job and go back to school?

This deals with my work at the age of 16 to 19, I went back to high school at the age of 21 after the experience and then to university. None of my blogs are fiction, there's a point I'm trying to get across, but you'll have to wait until all four parts are out.
FliedLice
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Germany7494 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-14 03:45:11
November 14 2013 03:44 GMT
#10
Office work can be quite shit I guess, sitting in a big room with a bunch of cunts doing boring as fuck work. Did 3 months in an office during my apprenticeship so far and luckily I had a great time because the work was somewhat interesting and I got along with the people pretty nicely.
Kevmeister @ Dota2
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
November 15 2013 18:13 GMT
#11
I don't like the word "cunt", in any context, but there's plenty of derogatory terms that could have been applied to the air-headed bitches I worked with.

Working on Part 3, but so far the feedback has been so bad that I don't dare to post it quite yet.
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