EPT
I am what many would consider a toxic player. I'm the type of player you'd never want to get on voice chat with and actually play a game because I'd probably end up raging at you and start spewing profanities all around. How do I manage to have this attitude? Fear not, I am here to help.
Step 1:
Find a very cancerous person. My inspiration is none other than Toxic Sheep. Toxic Sheep is the kind of player who is bad at every game (Keyboard BW), but think he's hot stuff, and complains when his team does poorly or when others criticize his play. You should consult your most toxic friend and draw upon their inspiration. What makes them such a toxic and cancerous gamer in game? Why do they rage all the time? Why do they blame others when they're baddies themselves?
Step 2:
Find a popular game in which you can vent your pent up rage. Popular examples include: SC2, League of Legends, DotA, Call of Duty, Halo, etc. I personally dislike SC2 because with individual games, it's hard to rage at many people. You don't have to be any good at any of the games, you just have to have that attitude established in step 1 and a plethora of excuses when people ask why you're so bad. For example, if someone asks you "How'd you miss that guy? He was right in front of you". You can reply with something like, "Go fuck yourself, you're shit too. I'm better than you. I was Grandmasters in SC2 so I'm better than you at everything you do. Go drown in a lake plz"
Step 3:
Find a catch phrase. Each shitgamer needs a catchphrase. In order to become a professional level shitgamer, you need a catchphrase that differentiates you from the rest of the field. You can't just rely on stuff like "Wow, you suck". What kind of BM is that? You need to really hit hard, with something like "YOU HAVE DOWNS". It's short, concise, and straight to the point. + Show Spoiler +
Plz don't do this to someone you think may really be mentally challenged. That's not nice
Step 4:
Engage in hostility and try to stir up as many arguments as possible while in game. When someone feeds, tell them they're fucking worthless sacks of shit. When someone misses a point blank shot, tell them they're like Helen Keller, blind as fuck. Upon confrontation, pull out all the tricks in the book, from namecalling to profanity to straight insulting them where it hurts the most.
Step 5:
Don't go overboard. You must keep yourself unbanned so that when people try to accuse you of being a shitgamer and cancerous to the community, you can tell them, "I've never been banned. I think you're the toxic one. Please kill yourself"
Follow these steps and you'll have a very successful future in the shitgaming business.
Stay tuned for Part 3, a guide on who the fuck knows.
