EPT
I feel weak
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JonIrenicus
Italy602 Posts
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739
Bearded Elder29905 Posts
Hey man, what made you think so? How can you think that you do not deserve your family? | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
Hang in there buddy you seem to have a lot of people around you that care about you. | ||
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SerADeadzerg
Canada48 Posts
I am also very prone to negative thinking. The feeling that you will never be able to achieve is one that I am personally very close to. I just came out of a really unproductive and "down" year and I've realized that just the thought that you cannot achieve is usually the only thing stopping you. It's really important to stop these thoughts when they start to occur and say to yourself, "I am a human being and I have infinite potential" or something cheesy like that. You said that other people ask and they get, why are they lucky? But generally luck has little to do with it. You said you are unfocused and due to this you won't be able to put in the same kind of effort which results in them getting things and you not. It's really hard because I know how the negative perspective feeds on itself. I spent years wondering why I wasn't "given" the same musical talent or Broodwar abilities of other people. Why did I have to suffer and be the worst at what I loved. This all changed when I started to invest time into how I was learning. Once I figured out how much good learning habits helped I instantly saw improvement and my mind was forced to let go of its obsession with ability as something unchangeable and accept a notion that the majority of skill is worked for. I hope this helped a bit. PM me if you want to talk more or find my ideas unclear... | ||
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wingpawn
Poland1342 Posts
Also, people get what they get, not what they deserve. Pointless self-pity is a dangerous lie. | ||
ChapatiyaqPTSM
France1887 Posts
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loshmeebre
Serbia11 Posts
Try to find something that interests you out of the computer world. And it could be very good for you to start some regular (but not very hard) physical activity. Like running 20 min a day, doing some exercises or playing some sport. A mind is inside of a body, and it really helps if it's a healthy one :D Think about all the good things you will get by educating yourself. You will meet new people at university, and some of them will be good (most of them not, but hey, that's life :D), you will elevate yourself mentally, get money (and bitches ^^ jk jk).. Whole world is out there, you just have to decide to seize it. My girlfriend broke up with me 5-6 days ago, and I really thought that she is the one. It is hard now, we were together for 3 years, but hey, I can't just sit on my butt all day reminiscing about the past, and good times we had. I started painting again, working out again, started exploring filmography of some director I never watched.. Activate yourself and change, stay stagnant ONLY when you feel good, and even then not for long. Flow like a river, sting like a bee  Good luck. BTW. sorry for my lousy English, I hope that it is somewhat understandable | ||
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crayhasissues
United States682 Posts
I have none of that stuff, and I am perfectly okay with that. Why? Well you see, things were much worse for me when I was trying to do what society and my controlling ex-gf wanted me to do. Once the relationship ended, I took some time to find out what I like to do and what I need to be happy. Turns out it isn't money, a big house, or even another relationship. I found an inner strength that I wasn't sure I had. I've slowed my life down a lot, and I wouldn't regret a minute of it. I'm finally happy living life on my own terms. | ||
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JonIrenicus
Italy602 Posts
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JSH
United States4109 Posts
I was super conscious of how others thought about me (almost paranoid) that I avoided people altogether in college. Except for my internet friends. I always thought that I was the worst person in the world and I don't deserve anything. Always comparing myself to others and realizing that even if I am not trying my best, no matter how hard I try, my "best" never happens so might as well quit. When I self pity myself, I was almost "happy", thinking that this is where I belong, this is what I am, I am a failure. I would constantly tell myself I wish I was never existed. I thought of suicide too, but realized that I was afraid of dying, and that even put me further depressed, thinking I don't even have the power to do this. I hated myself for my inability to change, even when I thought I could do better, I never did nor seem to be able to. I know how hard it is to get out of that negative mindset and it is impossible to do it by yourself What I recommend is seeking professional help. As hard as it is to admit to your parents for help (even I didn't do this), or you don't even have to get them involved! If you seek professional help, since you are over 18, you can keep it confidential, but you do have to pay for the cost... It is better to involve your parents as they will 100% fully support you Mine got involved kind of accidentally and they realized I needed help. Parents are super important, and if anything happened in the past between them that you need to tell them, be honest and tell them! Even I have trouble with this, but I am making progress. Also if you can't concentrate very long, maybe you need some medication There is also anti-depression medication if your doctor and counselor decides if they are needed. Also on the gf issue, I never had a girlfriend! Nothing wrong with that (hue) The MOST important thing is loving yourself and believing you have self-worth because you are YOU. You exist and therefore are valuable Once you can accept this, I'm sure with proper support you will succeed  Best of luck and don't let life bring you down | ||
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loshmeebre
Serbia11 Posts
Thank you. In my university I won't be able to meet new people. I mean, the relationships that most of the people I've met there is based merely on competition. There is no thing like "friendship" and something of these sort. I've had a really bad experience. For example, I've met a girl , one day I've asked her if I could get some notes about a lesson I didn't attend. You wouldn't believe what happened after a month. I've accompanied her everyday to his home and she said I was trying to seduce her because of my wish to get more notes on the future. You won't believe me when I say that most of the people there are bookworms with almost no resemblance of what it means a "social relation". I'm no expert but still , being polite with a girl doesn't mean you are trying to seduce her for some notes. Oh well I know exactly what you mean because me and some friends of mine had the same experience. There is a lot of people like that at the university, all over the world. Has nothing to do with Italy, or you. People are often selfish, especially successful ones, or those that strive for success, but surely there are wonderful people out there, you just missed them, or misjudged them, or labeled them wrong based on some prejudice. In the end, it doesn't matter, if you don't like people at the university, fine, just look somewhere else. Are you passionate about something? Do you like reading? Sports? Art? Have any hobbies? Join a club, forum, whatever. Meet people that have same interest as you. Devote yourself to something. Work something that makes you happy, anything. There must be something. You aren't naturally born to be bad at everything, just for some things XD And even than, you can make it work if you really really want it. It is very hard to feel like a failure in power-hungry society we live in, but the only real escape out of it is to stop feeling like that. Start doing something and try to do it good. Enjoy your successes, even the smallest ones, enjoy them because you earned it. Allow yourself not to hate yourself, that is the worst. | ||
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Race is Terran
United States382 Posts
User was banned for this post. | ||
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hp.Shell
United States2527 Posts
Slow down and stop taking things so seriously. Laugh. The world and its culture is a bit tough to deal with these days for a lot of people, myself included. It's like, why are the wrong things being given to us when we know they're bad for civilization, humankind, the habitable planet, etc? Why? Why are we told to keep our heads in the sand when there are problems to solve and nobody's funding or solving them? Anyway just remember. You can turn off all the bullshit if you want to. Just go outside and sit on a bench or something and slow down a bit. It can really help. Edit: What's your goal? To be content? Then focus your energy on finding content rather than focusing so much on something that doesn't make you feel good. | ||
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AnachronisticAnarchy
United States2957 Posts
Major depression twists and corrupts the world around you. Every act of kindness becomes an act of pity or self-aggrandizing charity. Life's problems become insurmountable. You find reasons to believe that there's no way out, even if there is. It's almost like rationalization bent towards the purpose of destroying you. Of course, there are some physical symptoms as well. Loss of energy, maybe some aches and pains, but you probably already know about that stuff. What I say probably isn't going to make any difference. Heck, nothing anyone says should make a difference if you have it bad enough. Nothing anyone else does is going to change anything. Everything is going to have to come from you. You have to reach out. Don't tell me why you can't reach out, just do it. Maybe you don't want to bother your parents, or disappoint them one more time, but I can guarantee you, if they're anywhere near as good as you say they are, your suicide will be worse for them than any other conceivable choice you could have made. Don't tell me you aren't going to commit suicide, either. Depression will drive you there if you don't get rid of it. Even the strongest have been broken by it. Once you reach out, do whatever it takes to get rid of the depression. Pills, therapy, whatever. Just do it. I've been through the highest highs and lowest lows in life. The first time I tried to kill myself, I was four. Kept on trying too, for ten years. Now, though? Well, I could go on and on, but suffice to say I've made a turnaround. I told you that, so you'll believe me when I tell you this: what you have now is temporary. Passing. Today, you will have the weight of the world on your shoulders. You'll have that same pain tomorrow. And the next day, and the next day, and the next day. Right now, all your problems are as real as the ground beneath your feet. Same deal a few years from now. When you've gotten rid of the depression. When you've just about finished college. When you have a girlfriend, when you have an improved work ethic, when you've found new friends, when you're happy. When you're so glad you kept on going. That will be your reality, if you just keep on going. | ||
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Ender985
Spain910 Posts
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dAPhREAk
Nauru12397 Posts
i also see that you have fallen into the never-ending despair that is comparing yourself to others. the problem with comparing yourself to others is always the same: you are comparing yourself to your perception of the person, not the actual person. oftentimes, how we perceive other people is a perception of our own negative feelings about ourselves, and have very little to do with whether the other person is happier or has a more fulfilling life. you will never feel better about yourself by comparing yourself to others since you will always be projecting your own negativity. have hope. and look at this happy pup: ![[image loading]](http://cuteoverload.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/ziggy1.jpg?w=560&h=840) see how happy that made you feel? emotions are fleeting things. you may be down now, but see how easily it is to increase your enjoyment of life. extra doses here. www.cuteoverload.com | ||
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Andre
Slovenia3523 Posts
Live by the principles of your namesake, as flawed as they are they seem fitting for your situation. Stay strong and if you endure you'll be better off in the long run! | ||
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hp.Shell
United States2527 Posts
I want you to understand that your thoughts are not you. There's a thing called the I Ching, it's a set of 64 hexagrams, that some ancient people thought represented time. They probably are closer to representing the changes your mind goes through moment to moment. We all have negative thoughts. How will you react to them? Do you react with arguments or more negativity? Just observe your thoughts for a while. "Hm, where did THAT come from?" Do your thoughts align with how you perceive your physical health to be? Eckhart Tolle on practicing letting the ego die and surrendering to the present moment as an alternative to suicide. May you find peace and life. This is a powerful video. Please understand that he is not saying kill yourself. He is saying kill the ego. | ||
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goody153
44313 Posts
i say this a lot of times and i also had a friend who tried to commit suicide (luckily he didnt die and found meaning to life) suicide is bullshit man .. life is great .. dont be scared to talk this to your friends and family i also had this phase in my life where i was so depressed .. and here's what made me better for me anyways --> dont expect too much or dont have high expectations .. not everyone gets what they want but that doesnt mean its not a reason for you to be not happy .. ---> always bear in mind that you are not the only one who is suffering in the world .. there will be always other people who are facing worst situation than you are and are doing great ----> if you keep failing .. keep trying man .. you will succeed in time or you might find something in life greater than succeeding ----> find a hobby that is productive or fun .. dont worry this helps .. this may make you realize life is fun ----> and lastly dont give two shits about what other people think about you they dont run your life for you .. and more importantly they are not the one that buys your food | ||
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ninazerg
United States7291 Posts
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/ptrak88.jpg) | ||
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