EPT(Oldest to newest)
Pros and Cons
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I had some girl issues in a way. I was torn a little bit between one and another. I don't want to turn this into a girl blog, but I've been getting to know someone slowly, because we live in different parts of the country most of the year, but another friend (also from home) recently started showing interest. The latter is a year younger than me and was graduating, but the former worked in the same school. So when I visited, it got a little awkward hehe.
Detach
ment
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I was hanging out with my group of friends from back home, and we were discussing a pretty serious matter relating to one of them and how she always spent time with the girlfriend (she liked girls) of another girl. Personal things aside, I noticed that a lot of the things said, and especially the body language of everyone was very... Not confident. Afraid. No one wanted to ruin the cohesiveness of the group but it needed to be addressed. Prior to this, we were discussing our griefs over another friend of ours and I noticed mine were quite different.
Pictures
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I saw a cute/nsfw picture that really intrigued me. I don't particularly want to link it here (not that there was any nudity), but I don't know anyone else that would appreciate it really.
Mouth full of dicks
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I spent a lot of time with some people. Once, I accidentally called another friend by another name, because I was so used to saying it. Go figure, I had just the right phrase for it.
Auto-Horology
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...To be honest I forgot the story behind this one. I think I bought Fallout New Vegas, but opened up Skyrim for trading cards or something. Then at night I had a look at myself. It probably has something to do with friends. This summer I spent a lot of time to myself (a good thing after a year of university) and looked at all the ways I changed. I wanted to sort through my friends - I've met enough people that I can't hope to get to know them all, and I want to invest my time (a person's most precious resource) in the ones that matter. Regardless of what this was supposed to mean, I want to invest time in the friends that matter. That know what they want and that you can help - because a true friend will raise up their friends instead of look for ways in which they can benefit.
When did I...?
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The girl thing from before (the more recent one) ended. Not badly, but we both agreed it was in our best interests that we should remain friends. Of course, this was after I took a while to decide that I wouldn't mind committing to something, only to figure out that she was over it. A good choice - she's a good woman. But it's better for both of us. I realized this summer that I had barely talked to one of my best friends from high school, and I had talked to her every day. I don't have the time, or the energy when you consider how much time and effort I'm investing in learning about myself, and learning to love what I find and how to cope with the negatives. Regardless, I thought of someone I had met in college.
.
A nice read
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I read one of those long tumblr posts about how to improve yourself or something, and it triggered a thought about how much alone time I end up needing. I'm a strange mix between introvert and extrovert - I love people, and I love getting to know them and spending time. But sometimes, I need my alone time, and the lows (energy lows) hit very hard. At the same time, things get monotonous sometimes. I find myself back in the same place a lot - right before bed, wondering how time had passed so quickly. A downside to getting older I suppose. Regardless, this is something I want to do one day - go away, go travel, go do something new and exciting and alone.
Fucking proposal videos
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Did you know Youtube has a marriage proposal page? I couldn't find it, but here's a good substitute. My friend got engaged, and it was so fucking cute.
I don't see what you see
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This is something still kinda relevant today actually. Part of the influence was that girl thing, but really I've noticed that sometimes I'm very reserved. I went out to buy groceries and get some take out today, and I realized only after that I never actually smiled. I was very polite, my tone was happy, and I was having a good day. But my body language doesn't express it. It's the same sometimes with the way I view people. I see people differently (compared to my friends that I'm around when I'm home). Sometimes I'm too busy to notice how passive-aggressive someone is (this actually happened), because I'm instead noticing the details of how they're passive aggressive. I hear their voice being a little too joking, or notice that their volume is slightly too loud. Unfortunately, I don't register that they're actually being PA.
Pros and Cons
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They are red and blue.
I feel yellow.
Green or orange are
my favorite colors,
but mixing warm and cool
creates hurricanes.
I feel yellow.
Green or orange are
my favorite colors,
but mixing warm and cool
creates hurricanes.
I had some girl issues in a way. I was torn a little bit between one and another. I don't want to turn this into a girl blog, but I've been getting to know someone slowly, because we live in different parts of the country most of the year, but another friend (also from home) recently started showing interest. The latter is a year younger than me and was graduating, but the former worked in the same school. So when I visited, it got a little awkward hehe.
Detach
ment
+ Show Spoiler +
I don’t notice
the little things
that others do.
Not in the same
way, anyway.
I don’t see her
hypocrisy.
I see the crossed arms,
and hesitant voice.
Foot shuffling, eyes down.
Cries for attention,
fear of rejection.
I see the black hole
that asks to be found.
the little things
that others do.
Not in the same
way, anyway.
I don’t see her
hypocrisy.
I see the crossed arms,
and hesitant voice.
Foot shuffling, eyes down.
Cries for attention,
fear of rejection.
I see the black hole
that asks to be found.
I was hanging out with my group of friends from back home, and we were discussing a pretty serious matter relating to one of them and how she always spent time with the girlfriend (she liked girls) of another girl. Personal things aside, I noticed that a lot of the things said, and especially the body language of everyone was very... Not confident. Afraid. No one wanted to ruin the cohesiveness of the group but it needed to be addressed. Prior to this, we were discussing our griefs over another friend of ours and I noticed mine were quite different.
Pictures
+ Show Spoiler +
I noticed her
tied by the wrists
to the wall.
Rope kept
her arms up.
Gravity brought
her body down.
I wondered
who else
thought of
Bernini or
Caravaggio.
tied by the wrists
to the wall.
Rope kept
her arms up.
Gravity brought
her body down.
I wondered
who else
thought of
Bernini or
Caravaggio.
I saw a cute/nsfw picture that really intrigued me. I don't particularly want to link it here (not that there was any nudity), but I don't know anyone else that would appreciate it really.
Mouth full of dicks
+ Show Spoiler +
I’ve gotten so used
to saying your name,
that I say it whenever
I call to someone.
If your name was a dick,
my mouth would be
full of them.
(Which isn’t
inherently bad).
to saying your name,
that I say it whenever
I call to someone.
If your name was a dick,
my mouth would be
full of them.
(Which isn’t
inherently bad).
I spent a lot of time with some people. Once, I accidentally called another friend by another name, because I was so used to saying it. Go figure, I had just the right phrase for it.
Auto-Horology
+ Show Spoiler +
I wait for
the pirate,
who adamantly
searches for gold.
The crowbar user,
or lockpick master.
Not the fickle dragon,
but the dragon slayer.
The princess seeker,
that understands how
dragons fall to heroes -
swords of courage, not iron.
the pirate,
who adamantly
searches for gold.
The crowbar user,
or lockpick master.
Not the fickle dragon,
but the dragon slayer.
The princess seeker,
that understands how
dragons fall to heroes -
swords of courage, not iron.
...To be honest I forgot the story behind this one. I think I bought Fallout New Vegas, but opened up Skyrim for trading cards or something. Then at night I had a look at myself. It probably has something to do with friends. This summer I spent a lot of time to myself (a good thing after a year of university) and looked at all the ways I changed. I wanted to sort through my friends - I've met enough people that I can't hope to get to know them all, and I want to invest my time (a person's most precious resource) in the ones that matter. Regardless of what this was supposed to mean, I want to invest time in the friends that matter. That know what they want and that you can help - because a true friend will raise up their friends instead of look for ways in which they can benefit.
When did I...?
+ Show Spoiler +
She
used to
bite her tongue
gently when she laughed.
These days I put mine
behind my upper teeth when my
lips open up to smile. How strange.
used to
bite her tongue
gently when she laughed.
These days I put mine
behind my upper teeth when my
lips open up to smile. How strange.
The girl thing from before (the more recent one) ended. Not badly, but we both agreed it was in our best interests that we should remain friends. Of course, this was after I took a while to decide that I wouldn't mind committing to something, only to figure out that she was over it. A good choice - she's a good woman. But it's better for both of us. I realized this summer that I had barely talked to one of my best friends from high school, and I had talked to her every day. I don't have the time, or the energy when you consider how much time and effort I'm investing in learning about myself, and learning to love what I find and how to cope with the negatives. Regardless, I thought of someone I had met in college.
.A nice read
+ Show Spoiler +
One day I think
I will go and
vanish for a while.
I’ll take a plane
to some new place, and
tell my old life goodbye.
Leave a note
that says “don’t worry,
I still love you guys,
but I need to breathe,
be drunk on a beach,
with strangers at my side.”
I will go and
vanish for a while.
I’ll take a plane
to some new place, and
tell my old life goodbye.
Leave a note
that says “don’t worry,
I still love you guys,
but I need to breathe,
be drunk on a beach,
with strangers at my side.”
I read one of those long tumblr posts about how to improve yourself or something, and it triggered a thought about how much alone time I end up needing. I'm a strange mix between introvert and extrovert - I love people, and I love getting to know them and spending time. But sometimes, I need my alone time, and the lows (energy lows) hit very hard. At the same time, things get monotonous sometimes. I find myself back in the same place a lot - right before bed, wondering how time had passed so quickly. A downside to getting older I suppose. Regardless, this is something I want to do one day - go away, go travel, go do something new and exciting and alone.
Fucking proposal videos
+ Show Spoiler +
You’re on your knees
begging to
some higher power,
"spare me please."
Your heart’s thumping,
and blurry vision,
leaves your
mind imagining.
Your soul’s on fire,
cheeks scarlet red,
you feel that pressure
rising higher.
You’re in this mess
until at last,
she gives the answer:
no or yes.
begging to
some higher power,
"spare me please."
Your heart’s thumping,
and blurry vision,
leaves your
mind imagining.
Your soul’s on fire,
cheeks scarlet red,
you feel that pressure
rising higher.
You’re in this mess
until at last,
she gives the answer:
no or yes.
Did you know Youtube has a marriage proposal page? I couldn't find it, but here's a good substitute. My friend got engaged, and it was so fucking cute.
I don't see what you see
+ Show Spoiler +
I’m sorry that
I didn’t see
the way your eyes
sparkle at me.
Forgive me please,
I failed to see
the smiles you always
gave to me.
I was busy
with the sound
of your voice
going up and down.
I was worried
by the sound
of your sighs
when you were down.
I didn’t see
the way your eyes
sparkle at me.
Forgive me please,
I failed to see
the smiles you always
gave to me.
I was busy
with the sound
of your voice
going up and down.
I was worried
by the sound
of your sighs
when you were down.
This is something still kinda relevant today actually. Part of the influence was that girl thing, but really I've noticed that sometimes I'm very reserved. I went out to buy groceries and get some take out today, and I realized only after that I never actually smiled. I was very polite, my tone was happy, and I was having a good day. But my body language doesn't express it. It's the same sometimes with the way I view people. I see people differently (compared to my friends that I'm around when I'm home). Sometimes I'm too busy to notice how passive-aggressive someone is (this actually happened), because I'm instead noticing the details of how they're passive aggressive. I hear their voice being a little too joking, or notice that their volume is slightly too loud. Unfortunately, I don't register that they're actually being PA.
Thank you.
