EPTBut nothing lasts forever. Slowly but steady our relationship changed.
You used to dress me as a child. Today I am tying your shoes.
You used to tuck me in bed as a child. Today I am putting you to bed.
You used to feed me as a child. Today I am making sure you take your meds.
You are no longer the fearless woman of the past.
Instead dementia has decided to take all your little memories and put them somewhere you only occasionally can reach.
Losing a beloved family member is never easy, but losing someone to dementia is equally painful.
You still remember us. That is an incredibly relieving fact. But the thought that one day you won’t be able to recognize your own family anymore is tremendous. I am already dreading the day you won’t be able to tell that I am your granddaughter.
My grandmother used to be a very independent woman. After my grandfather died and left her and their four children behind, she managed to earn enough money to feed the family while raising the children.
She was always strong-willed and very energetic. When I was little, my parents and I moved abroad. My grandmother used to visit us and help my parents with the household and took care of me. She could not speak german much less english but it did not discourage her from living in Germany, taking the bus to pick her granddaughter up from kindergarten or going grocery shopping. She was always there for us.
Now I want to be there for her. It really isn't easy. Usually, she is a friendly and merry person. But most of the time she can not remember anything said or done just minutes ago. Due to her bad memory she worries a lot and asks a lot of questions like Where are we right now? She can ask the same question over and over again and it can get unnerving very fast. But losing patience won't solve anything, she will just get angry if we don't answer her questions properly. I guess the only good thing about her memory is that she tends to forget about being angry quite fast as well.
Seeing her cognitive abilities regress bit by bit with every day is so sad. I really don't want to imagine what the future will be like. I just want to be able to remember her and the wonderful memories I have and don't tarnish them with whatever the future will bring. I really don't want to lose her like this.
