EPT--------------------
Mental Conditioning
~ Controlling Oneself ~
By Sakae Eri
Osaka University of Health and Sport Sciences
Introduction
I decided to study psychology initially because I have a frail mind, and worry a lot because of it. I wanted to know what I could do to feel better. My goal for writing this paper is that it helps me feel a little better about the daily troubles I face in the course of my daily life. For instance, I worry about personal relationships, and get depressed when I cannot perform to the best of my ability in competitions. I hope this paper will also be of use to other people who have similar anxieties.
My Own Perspective
In everyday life, there are countless people without confidence and think things like “I hate myself”, “I’m no good”, or “I don’t know what to do”. Such thoughts are certain to manifest, for example, when competitions do not go well, when you cannot find work, or when you encounter conflict in personal relationships.
Close examination of feelings like “I’m lacking” or “I’m inadequate” reveals that this is not the case at all. People without self-confidence often fall into a downward spiral in which the more they try to fix a weakness, the more intense it becomes. From a desire to succeed, they find reasons why they are likely to fail. From wanting to be validated, they end up focussing on their shortcomings. To use kendo as an example, this would be feelings of weak-spiritedness and pessimism after losing a shiai that you desperately wanted to win.
A way to escape this situation is to accept who you are, and the way you are. This is not easy. To put it another way, it may mean actually acknowledging that you are deficient in some things, and that you do not have high expectations of yourself. Some might say that this is counterproductive, but it is different from thinking you are a good-for-nothing loser. When you yield to yourself, recognise your weaknesses, and place no expectations on yourself, you are not giving up; you come to see your strengths and gain leeway to actually believe in your potential. You facilitate progress by first becoming comfortable with, rather than pressurising yourself.
Once I was injured before a shiai, and keiko was not going well. At the time, my teacher said, “If you’re injured, just put everything into what you CAN do. It’s okay to not force yourself to do more.” Up until then, I felt depressed, agonising over what to do. I also criticised myself, and gave myself no room to move. My teacher’s words gave me some reprieve, and I was able to do keiko with a more positive attitude. I was at a standstill, but through acknowledging my difficulties, I was able to move forward little by little. This acknowledgment brought about progress.
“Accepting one’s self = Being able to see one’s potential”
By and large, people lack self-confidence when they are troubled, worried, or things do not go as expected. People who see their own deficiencies when compared to others should first try to write their troubles down on paper, i.e. what they are worried about, and what it was that did not go according to plan. Carefully looking at what is written, the writer will eventually come to realise that the critical issue is the gap between perception (selfish ideal) and reality. The trouble is the ideal ‒ an imagination or desire of how things should be.
More than one’s honest feelings, it is an ideal resting on judgments about the world and friends. However, many things do not go as expected in reality which is why it is troubling when the gap appears. When you focus on these troubles, your attention shifts to what is missing; you see your deficiencies and what you lack. It is difficult to see what you have when your attention is on what you do not. At this point, you feel a shortcoming in yourself, and your self-confidence evaporates. When you are depressed and see nothing in yourself, the first step is to consciously focus on and notice what you do possess. It is critical to shift your focus from what you lack to what you have.
“It’s what you have, not what you lack”
Within us there is a mental barrier that diminishes our self-assuredness. It makes us think “that person is awful”, “the world is a terrible place”, and encourages us to blame our own troubles on somebody else. The unpleasant things that happen to us are not through bad luck, misfortune, or a failure. They are what they are. If we are overly sensitive to them, we will lose our place at the helm of our lives. To make our lives enjoyable and pleasant, the question is how we can accept the reality before our eyes? I imagine that the answer is within us because the problems are too. I think that if we are aware of and stop our negative reaction to various problems we are faced with, the problems will fade away.
“Be aware of yourself, and the problems within will disappear naturally”
Athletes have mood fluctuations, and those who work to master something can experience temporary declines in technique – these are common to everyone. Some things we want to avoid, but generally we must go through them if we want to rise above where we are. Sometimes we must force ourselves through, and sometimes it is important to pause and think. By changing one’s frame of mind slightly, and recognising who you are, I think we can ease our moods and move in a positive direction.
Thinking from an Instructor’s Perspective
I have written my own thoughts up to this point. Now I would like to consider the instructor’s position, and offer advice on what to say to a troubled student who cannot perform to the best of their ability. This also applies to people in supportive roles, not just the instructor.
There is no right answer to this problem. Among students, there are some who want to listen and some who do not. There are at least as many opinions as there are students. I believe that the instructor must regularly try to grasp the student’s character and opinions. It is important for the instructor to notice changes in the student’s condition. One phrase a teacher should avoid with troubled students is simply saying “gambare” (try hard). To the speaker, it is an innocent phrase said only for encouragement, but it often puts great pressure on the listener: it can also hurt them depending on the time and situation. Seemingly harmless words are often fraught with underlying complications.
Instead, instructors should avoid phrases that rush or pressure a troubled student, and strive to create an environment where the student can progress at his or her own pace. However, as I wrote in the introduction, each student is different, and reacts differently, so instructors should try to respond suitably to each. It is important to create an accommodating environment and atmosphere.
Instructors are in a position in which they must try to understand each student, and it should be noted that it is extraordinarily difficult to take a role in alleviating a person’s mental or psychological issues.
“To understand someone, first understand yourself”
Conclusion
It is possible to reflect on who we are through being calm, changing our attitude, and acknowledging who we are. I also believe it is possible to hold a compassionate attitude towards others. When you have experienced suffering, you notice and understand the feelings of others who suffer in a similar way. I believe it is important to expand our perspectives and notice the feelings of those around us. This happens through “noticing one’s self, understanding one’s self, and controlling one’s self.” The importance of this cannot be overstated.
While there are differences in the severity of our problems, such as the conflicts in our personal relationships, temporary lapses in technique, and troubles in daily life, it is safe to say that changing our mind-set and accepting the self is connected to everything.
In considering and researching this topic, I met people who think and perceive things very differently. While there is no one-size-fits-all solution, I found that there is a fitting answer for each different situation. When I meet someone who is worried and troubled, I want to be able to offer advice that is appropriate to that individual, and also be someone with compassion who can empathise with their feelings. It is my hope that this short essay will be useful in some way to those who read it.
