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I was out with a bunch of people one night at this club called Pangaea, really classy night club for the 'important folk' so to speak. Apparently Eduardo Saverin parties there! I didn't know anyone in the group personally; It was 5am, I was leaving a night club somewhere else in town, a girl pulls me to the side and asks me to follow her group to Pangaea. Man I'm drunk and I don't give a fuck, so why not. Anyway one of the guys, Andrew, is a real ladies man, and a personal friend of my 'dating coach' so to speak. He picks up this girl coming out of the bathroom, and we leave the club.
He leaves the girl for a moment and this jerk comes along and tries to take the girl back home with him, saying that he's a personal friend of the girl, that he needs to take care of her so that she'll owe him a favor and fuck him another day. I didn't know what to do, what AMOG him or something? Anyway I went to Andrew and told him, "Dude some fucker is trying to steal your girl."
And replied, "I'm so down with that shit, I don't even care man. I'm the fucking prize. I'm one in a million. If she wants to go with that guy, she can fuck off with him."
His words really left a deep impact on me.
I'm on a study break right now, and I've been taking a lot of time to focus on myself. I've been thinking a lot about what I am right now, and what I want to become. Trying to adjust to the fact that there's an additional member of the household, to come to terms with the abuse I had to bear when I was a child and the fact that I have no idea what I'm fucking doing in life.
My dad finally bit the bullet and called the cops on my mom, we've gotten interim custody of my sister, but the court hearing doesn't start to June, and my mother has visitation rights everyday from 6-9pm. My dad's work ends at 6, and my uncle has to supervise the visit as well, so basically I've been literally home alone for the past two months. My dad's like a ticking time bomb when under stress, so during what little time I get to see him, I try to avoid him.
Relationships have always been a part of my life that I really want to fix. The number of close friends I have I can count with the fingers on my right hand. Since young I wasn't allowed to have friends, I was just locked up at home with books and a stick. Then when my parents divorced at the age of 13 and I lived with my dad, I didn't know how to make friends. I was an extremely abusive, jerk of a kid when I was younger, I'd abuse everyone around me, even those close to me, and hell people still took my shit for some reason, but no one wanted to get 'close' to me, so to speak. My best friend is this guy I knew since 7, for some reason from 7 up till 16 we've been going to the same classes, and boy did I bully the fuck out of him. He used to be chubby so I gave him shit for that, then he became really buff, like 90kilos of muscle, and I gave him shit for other things too. But the day we became really close friends was the day I decided to stop being a jerk, to him at least.
My relationships with females have been worse. I had my first girlfriend at 16, this tomyboyish girl that I had a huge crush on, who was dating me to validate herself in front of her christian friends; she's always preferred girls. We all know how that turned out. I dated a 30 year old teacher when I was 17, but I never really liked her that much, I only enjoyed the sex in cheap hotels, so I cut her off after a while. I had a few flings with random girls, until I met my previous girlfriend, who I met at a birthday party. We had sex on the beach, on the same night we met, and then we started a relationship together. I had no feelings for her at the start truth be told, but I was lonely, and she was crazy as fuck for me. To have that power over someone, to do anything for you, that validated me a lot. We all know how that turned out as well.
I'm privileged to have access to probably one of the best dating coaches in the world; I signed up for classes around the time of my break up, the guy gave me some material to read, I went for one class, managed to 'get back' with my ex, and then I stopped going for the classes altogether. After the break up, to fill my time and thoughts, I started going back again.
It was a real eye opener and it changed how I saw a lot of things, and most importantly, how I saw myself. I learned that I am the most important person in my world. The moment I tried to 'win my ex back' by doing all those sweet things for her to validate myself to her, I should have just chopped my dick off and give it to her. And by doing so, I ruined any chances of 'getting her back' too. She was giving me so much shit, and I was just taking it in the ass with a smile, I had no self respect, no fucking woman would want to be with a guy like that.
Before doing anything for a girl, before doing anything for anyone, first ask yourself, what has he/she done to deserve this.
I've read a bunch of books, material, blogs on how to 'win your ex back'. And the curious thing is, that they all say the same thing. You don't 'win your ex back'. Cut off contact from that bitch, do what you do, and she'll come grovelling back to you if you're worth it. And that's the thing about women, there are no 'techniques' you can learn to trick them, maybe on a good night that she's drunk, but that's called getting lucky for a reason.
If you really want to be 'pulling HB 10s' as internet people on pickup forums like to say, be a 10 first. Become a 10, and a woman will be stupid not to want to be a part of your life. As guys we have it lucky, because girls don't place as much emphasis on looks as we do. If a girl is fat or ugly, she's probably going to have difficulty getting any attention from guys, whereas a guy can get away with not having super good looks if he possesses confidence, charisma, humour and health.
The past 2 months I've been way more successful with women than I've ever been. Hell I got invited to a kickass after-party where I got to hang out with Ceelo Green and Sky Blu. But I have to remember that, while relationships are an important part of life, its only but a part of life.
I've done a lot of reflection on what I want to do in life, and what I need to do to get there. I've decided that I don't want to go back to school, I want to study and sit for my SATs; there's no way I'm getting into a good university with my polytechnic diploma. I'm also on a proper workout regime right now; it's always nice to have a beach body, and I'm sure the girl I'm seeing now will enjoy that.
I can't believe where I was a few months ago. I guess one big reason that made me refuse to let go of my ex girlfriend was the worry that I'll never get anyone better than her. Fuck that shit, I'm the prize.
 
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You're scum
User was banned for this post.
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United Kingdom14103 Posts
On May 28 2013 05:09 Harrad wrote:
You're scum
His positive thinking which helps him move on and be confident makes him scum?
Edit: Ban deserved.
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That wasn't cee loo green dude, he just looked like him lol
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Any problems you can think of doing that? Or doing the opposite? Or doing anything?
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On May 28 2013 05:20 BisuEver wrote:
Any problems you can think of doing that? Or doing the opposite? Or doing anything?
I don't understand what you're trying to say..
Yes I did meet Cee Lo green, he was in Singapore for the weekend! I even have a shitty picture with him ahaha
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It was a real eye opener and it changed how I saw a lot of things, and most importantly, how I saw myself. I learned that I am the most important person in my world. The moment I tried to 'win my ex back' by doing all those sweet things for her to validate myself to her, I should have just chopped my dick off and give it to her. And by doing so, I ruined any chances of 'getting her back' too. She was giving me so much shit, and I was just taking it in the ass with a smile, I had no self respect, no fucking woman would want to be with a guy like that.
Well this was me with my 2 year gf, she broke up with me a month ago, she had my balls througout the relationship (my fault really), at least now i know im on the right track, as i see you also are, i can relate to everything you said about relationships so it was a nice read, wish you the best of luck for the SATs!
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On May 28 2013 05:25 lisward wrote:Show nested quote +On May 28 2013 05:20 BisuEver wrote:
Any problems you can think of doing that? Or doing the opposite? Or doing anything? I don't understand what you're trying to say.. Yes I did meet Cee Lo green, he was in Singapore for the weekend! I even have a shitty picture with him ahaha
Any problems you can see coming up treating yourself like a prize? I usually find if I'm in a group of people it pisses off everyone else. And doing the opposite makes her stop liking me but makes it easy to get along with everyone. How would you manage that? If you were in a group of people?
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On May 28 2013 05:30 BisuEver wrote:Show nested quote +On May 28 2013 05:25 lisward wrote:On May 28 2013 05:20 BisuEver wrote:
Any problems you can think of doing that? Or doing the opposite? Or doing anything? I don't understand what you're trying to say.. Yes I did meet Cee Lo green, he was in Singapore for the weekend! I even have a shitty picture with him ahaha Any problems you can see coming up treating yourself like a prize? I usually find if I'm in a group of people it pisses off everyone else.
I didn't say go and be a dick in front of everyone. What I'm trying to say is, build up your self worth. Let's say if you're fat, you can't delude yourself into thinking you have a beach body, but you can transform yourself.
More importantly. FUCK WHAT OTHERS THINK. If your friends start getting annoyed because you started developing some self-pride (different from arrogance) then they're shitty friends, don't hang out with them. Never be externally validated, but at the same time, be honest about your flaws and work on them.
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Thank the almighty god that girls don't place that much emphasis on looks. Sure it's great to be well groomed, makes anyone look better, but really it comes more down to personality and who you really are like how confident you are in yourself insteasd of just superficial things such as wealth and looks.
Apparently people are good at recognizing other people in general with confidence, and those without confidence too so it's kinda hard to fake it and it has to be a part of who you really are to have it going for ya
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Wow, that's such a depressing world-view :p I suppose if it works for you and makes you happy, it's all good, but damn :p
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To have that power over someone, to do anything for you, that validated me a lot.
That's disturbing as fuck.
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I like most of that, though the one thing I disagree with is:
"Before doing anything for a girl, before doing anything for anyone, first ask yourself, what has he/she done to deserve this."
It seems that the purpose of this sentence is to avoid doing things for assholes. This is a fine endeavour, but that sentence puts everyone in the "Undeserving" pile, and only a select few people get put in the "Deserving" pile. It's throwing the baby out with the bathwater. A much more efficient way of not bending over backwards for jerks who won't appreciate it would be:
"Before doing anything for a girl, before doing anything for anyone, first ask yourself, has he/she done something to not deserve this?"
There are definitely people who don't deserve to have shit done for them, but they should be the exception, not the norm. Innocent until proven guilty and all that.
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On May 28 2013 16:06 Salivanth wrote:
I like most of that, though the one thing I disagree with is:
"Before doing anything for a girl, before doing anything for anyone, first ask yourself, what has he/she done to deserve this."
It seems that the purpose of this sentence is to avoid doing things for assholes. This is a fine endeavour, but that sentence puts everyone in the "Undeserving" pile, and only a select few people get put in the "Deserving" pile. It's throwing the baby out with the bathwater. A much more efficient way of not bending over backwards for jerks who won't appreciate it would be:
"Before doing anything for a girl, before doing anything for anyone, first ask yourself, has he/she done something to not deserve this?"
There are definitely people who don't deserve to have shit done for them, but they should be the exception, not the norm. Innocent until proven guilty and all that.
Yeah I probably could have phrased that better. What I mean is, don't be a tool.
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On May 28 2013 12:35 Luepert wrote:Show nested quote +To have that power over someone, to do anything for you, that validated me a lot. That's disturbing as fuck.
If you knew how his childhood panned out its not. He was abused, feeling powerless against his parents. So when he is finally able to 'turn' the tables so to speak, even against someone that didn't necessarily deserve it, he feels validated and worthy.
At least things are on the up for you lisward, good to hear.
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EPT
