EPTahh, i really dont know. how do i rid of this :/
Perfectionism
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Kenpachi
United States9908 Posts
ahh, i really dont know. how do i rid of this :/ | ||
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HaRuHi
1220 Posts
It is somewhat a task a monkey could do, press the right button at the right time, just like sc2 could be viewn from that very perspective. Hmmm, maybe try something that cannot be done perfect, or isn`t done perfect. For example, drawing. Of course if you have a clean cut vision of what you wanna produce, than there is the possibility to fail, but If you take a much more artsy approach, who knows. Or dance in your room, film yourself. Practice some very, very short choregraphy, watch the video, if it seems imperfect, rinse and repeat. I Skate a lot, and most famous skateboard tricks, that seem to be perfect, usually took the skaters around 30+ tries, if they strive for perfection, they might redo a trick they landed, and some tricks are done 100times over before put into a video part. Also, maybe it is nothing you should get rid off. It may hinders you, because of how mad or scared you get, but see the positiv side, at least you have a clear idea of how perfection looks like to you, strive for it, and repeat, repeat repeat, even if you fail a thousand times, I think the one time people see true perfection, they will stop for a moment. | ||
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Race is Terran
United States382 Posts
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hypercube
Hungary2735 Posts
 , your friends won't desert you etc.edit: Also making one mistake doesn't mean you'll fail at everything in life. That's another common pattern | ||
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Chairman Ray
United States11903 Posts
So what I did to solve this issue is to get used to mistakes like it's normal. It's good to adopt the mindset of 'expecting the unexpected', where something will probably go wrong and it's normal routine to fix it on the spot. For example, oftentimes when I'm playing Starcraft, I mess up my build like forgetting a probe or getting gas late. Whenever that happens, I switch my build on the spot into another build where you would have naturally made those choices. When I used to play the violin, I like to picture the song in my head as I'm playing it, and if I mess up my fingering, the song in my head is still correct so getting back on track is very natural. For drawing, you will mess up, a lot. It's best to use beginner techniques and just map things out as much as possible and build the shading layer by layer so mistakes are easily rectified. To teach myself patience when drawing, I like to say to myself "I am not glider". | ||
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Meow-Meow
Germany451 Posts
On May 25 2013 10:44 HaRuHi wrote: Heard some people that play piano for a living do really heavy drugs, because they are afraid to mess up. It is somewhat a task a monkey could do, press the right button at the right time I just wanted to quote this gem before you realize how retarded this quote is and edit it. So drawing is an art and playing the piano is something a monkey could do, brilliant. | ||
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Holy_AT
Austria978 Posts
I have struggled with issues like yours my whole life and in took me down under quite some time. For me it was very difficult to show any weakness or to show people that I make errors or that I am not perfect, which made me very shy and introverted and I didn't pick up many new things or hobbies. Because if you pick something up, you are a noob at it, you are not a master if you play an instrument or try to paint something, you make errors you do stupid things. And that was something that in my bones I couldn't stand and didn't like. So I avoided these things. Often even asking for help in many life situations was difficult or not acceptable for me, because it felt like admitting that I am not perfect, that I have a flaw and showing it to everyone. I think the worst thing for me was that I was some how under the impression that the world around me (or lets say parts of it) were perfect and I was afraid to step into it because of all my flaws. Because if a perfectionist is good at one thing, its spotting flaws and mainly with himself. For me it was a long way to let go (at least to some degree) of it. I had to realize that the world around me is far from perfect, that humans are flawed as fuck and that I am human and that I was allowed to have flaws make errors because everyone else does and many people make far worse errors then I ever could. You have to allow yourself to make errors and be stupid and this was quite liberating for me. Now when I look back, there is mainly this lingering scent of regret, regret of the chances I missed because I ducked away because I was afraid to make errors. Perfectionism is good at one side because its a drive that wants to make you better then you are but like I said, it also has its dark side, that can lead to dark places. | ||
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Rollin
Australia1552 Posts
On May 25 2013 14:09 Meow-Meow wrote: I just wanted to quote this gem before you realize how retarded this quote is and edit it. So drawing is an art and playing the piano is something a monkey could do, brilliant. Playing pieces other people have written is quite mechanical in nature. Of course, you can try to bring feeling to the music (way harder than something like a guitar), but a lot of pianists I've seen on tv are just super methodical and boring. | ||
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FFGenerations
7088 Posts
people who have no role model and little social upbringing/experience can find it difficult to understand how we are supposed to live as flawed creatures. we are constantly wondering "whats right", "whats good", "was it okay", "how can he be happy with that?", because we havent learnt a way to perceive the world in a more confident, coping and worry-free way. there are two things you can do to remedy it really 1) become better at the things you know you care to be good at. you probably have a shameful attitude with regards to laziness and unfulfilled expectations, and know that you should work harder because thats what you believe to be best. 2) try to adopt , perceive, understand a more casual approach to life and living and interacting. you might not be able to do this without severely cutting out some of the things that interfere with your ability to be true to yourself and happy (see above). you might need to watch movies or self help videos to try to help you adopt a new perception. a superhero is always cool. but a superhero who keeps quitting because hes afraid and would rather play some dota ends up as a wreck theres a quote i made up the other day but then immeditately heard it rephrased byy a "get rich" advert lol. success = understanding + determination/persistence + consistency you understand that you want to be good at art and know how to do it (study and practice) you have the determination to start these things and to do them with passion when you do so but you have no consistency. it all falls through after a while and you waddle off to do something else | ||
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obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
On May 25 2013 17:48 Holy_AT wrote: Well, if the perfectionism is deep inside you, a one liner wont help you, even if it sounds intelligent and wise. I have struggled with issues like yours my whole life and in took me down under quite some time. For me it was very difficult to show any weakness or to show people that I make errors or that I am not perfect, which made me very shy and introverted and I didn't pick up many new things or hobbies. Because if you pick something up, you are a noob at it, you are not a master if you play an instrument or try to paint something, you make errors you do stupid things. And that was something that in my bones I couldn't stand and didn't like. So I avoided these things. Often even asking for help in many life situations was difficult or not acceptable for me, because it felt like admitting that I am not perfect, that I have a flaw and showing it to everyone. I think the worst thing for me was that I was some how under the impression that the world around me (or lets say parts of it) were perfect and I was afraid to step into it because of all my flaws. Because if a perfectionist is good at one thing, its spotting flaws and mainly with himself. For me it was a long way to let go (at least to some degree) of it. I had to realize that the world around me is far from perfect, that humans are flawed as fuck and that I am human and that I was allowed to have flaws make errors because everyone else does and many people make far worse errors then I ever could. You have to allow yourself to make errors and be stupid and this was quite liberating for me. Now when I look back, there is mainly this lingering scent of regret, regret of the chances I missed because I ducked away because I was afraid to make errors. Perfectionism is good at one side because its a drive that wants to make you better then you are but like I said, it also has its dark side, that can lead to dark places. I agree with Holy_AT and would like to add that often you don't need to defeat perfectionism but rather just try not to back out of everything. Try to convince yourself that you'll only regret it later. That seems to help me a bit when I'm having a hard time doing something social. | ||
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CatNzHat
United States1599 Posts
I have found myself in similar situations with a similar reaction, the difference is that instead of shying away from things I just don't show anything that I haven't perfected yet. I end up doing all of my studying in the middle of the night while everyone else is asleep. It allows me to explore everything freely without feeling any pressure at all, I can mess up and make stupid mistakes over and over and none of it matters because nobody is there to see. | ||
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BisuEver
United States247 Posts
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