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Some days ago my brother told me "You see, I was at the Uni and I was talking with a guy that plays LoL about playing after class, then another guy came and asked what game were we talking about and he ended up playing LoL too"
So I started thinking about how would I tell people that I like playing SC2 and Dota 2. Playing these game is really not the same than saying "oh yes I have a PS3 and I play GTA or CoD here and there, and Fifa/Pes with my friends"...
Idk what is, but latelty I've felt every time more lonely in my 'passion' of playing and learning SC2/Dota, in the other hand I feel more and more desire to learn new stuff about these two games. This ends up making me more introvert about my passion on the learning process that invovles becoming a good SC2/Dota player.
After all this nonsense, a open question. Let's say you play SC2/Dota/LoL and you like watching streams, reading strategy guides and would want to have a team to play and practice.
How do you tell people, specially new people, abot your gaming passion? (SC2/Dota/LoL/etc)
When people ask you about you, how to approach the subject of video games?
Example: You're in a party/meeting, you have a drink in your hand and you are talking to a random girl you met there. How to talk about being a 'gamer' without looking like a nerd?
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I would not recommend talking about your passion for gaming to a girl at a party. If your hobbies or gaming come up just say you play games and maybe mention SC or whatever.
1. Gaming still has stigma attached
2. Regardless, it will probably make poor and one-sided conversation as the girl cannot relate and probably wont have notable gaming experience.
3. Bringing up gaming and trying to talk about it with girls at a party signals that you have poor social skills due to reason number two.
If you have reason to believe that the chick is GM on Korean server or whatever then go for it, otherwise its probably a poor idea.
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On May 07 2013 02:00 uberxD wrote:
Example: You're in a party/meeting, you have a drink in your hand and you are talking to a random girl you met there. How to talk about being a 'gamer' without looking like a nerd?
Building on your example:
If you´re sociable and confident, you´re cool, no matter what your hobby is.
If you´re defensive and insecure, you´re a nerd (or whatever social outcast category may fit), no matter what your hobby is.
When you approach gaming, whether just as a hobby or a passion, then there is nothing inherently wrong with that. There is no need to assume a stigma and more often the stigma gets created by being defensive in the first place. That said, of course many have experienced the feeling of that "one chance to tell it right, so it actually comes across as cool as it really is", and of course many a time it seems to backfire and when that happens, ask yourself a couple of questions:
A) Is it okay for me if people don´t find my hobby interesting?
B) If they are not interested, do I have anything else to tell about my life?
If A) is already a no: Take a step back and stop missionizing! People like different things and your perspective is not the only right one. It´s perfectly fine if not everyone cares for the intricacies of late-medieval organ manufacturing, nor SC2 for that matter.
If A) is a yes, but B) is a no: Well, then chances are people will likely not care to have that conversation if it can be only about Starcraft like they´re supposed to buy something. There´s a time for everything and forcing a topic is never a good way to get people interested. In fact, in a social context, it´s much more about the person, than about the topic. If you´re a cool guy, people will more likely care for what you do. If you´re an awkward guy, you can be a sky-diving, guitar-rocking, shark-diving race car driver with no one bothering to have a conversation.
EDIT: Haha, beaten to the punch by the first answer. Concerning that gaming stigma, I have to disagree somewhat. It´s not gaming that has a bad name, it´s people with poor social skills due to gaming instead of socializing that have a bad name. I find some logic in it, when a guy who practices games instead of socializing is thus bad at conversation and thus rather unsuccessful in that area, though it must not necessarily be that way.
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Example: You're in a party/meeting, you have a drink in your hand and you are talking to a random girl you met there. How to talk about being a 'gamer' without looking like a nerd?
For this Example i can only say: Tell her the truth. If she is asking you about your hobbys then say: Hey i like to play video-games. (Most of the girls will think: "omg, what?", at this point. But you can say: Hey I also like other stuff, like meeting my friends, go out with my friends, make party or just chill on a sunny day anywhere in a Park or somewhere else. I'm not a nerdy Gamer. It's my passion, i have fun to play games but i can go out and make other things as well. Here you will see if she wants to know more about that or if she just like to go anyway. But if she is interested in you and don't like to talk about games try to switch the topic as fast as you can 
Try to be you, don't try to look cool or look different. She will see your "normal" side of life anyway.
And always think: There are far more people out there with other Hobbys, i mean terrible strange Hobbys. Being a gamer isn't that bad. I see it with my girlfriend. First she though: OMG; but we met closer and i spend a lot of time with here, so she understands if i want to play video-games. She enjoys to watch me playing and she plays on my account as well. (Mostly losses but anyway :D ) Every Girl is different, so ... 
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If you met new guys, new friends, somebody random who you are talking to and they ask you what you do, tell them that you like to play videogames. Nobody will laugh at you, being a good gamer is much harder as being always outside with his friends. Most of the people will be interested some still think gamers are "Nerdy".
And If somebody says, that being a gamer is easy tell them, what TLO said in a Interview:
I see Video-games like 2 Kind of Sports. One side is to be like a Boxer, you have to be concentrated all the time and have to act fast and if you don't be concentrated all the time you will get a punch in your face and you will "Knock Out", but if you really work and believe in you, you can make the way back into the Game and win it. On the other Hand we have chess. I always have to act fast and i have to make the right decision in the fastest time possible. I should try to see what is coming and i should try to get my opponent into a trap.
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So if you are a true gamer, people will like you, as long as you tell the truth and don't try to look cool or something. People these days will understand that, mostly.
Hope that helped a bit
Peter
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Anyone who tells you that certain topics are off limits when speaking to females simply lacks the confidence and savoir faire needed to not come off as a weirdo. If you approach a woman and say, "I'm a big fan of competitive gaming, what are some of your hobbies?" with an air of confidence, there is no almost no way she'll rebuke you simply for mentioning games unless she's a judgmental prick, in which case you ought not worry about missing out on that. If, instead, you approach a woman while thinking to yourself, "Oh, this is lame, games are lame, I hope she doesn't reject me.", well good luck projecting that confidence.
I'm not saying go up to women and confidently tell them rape jokes as an opener, but those who say that gaming has a stigma are likely further perpetrating said stigma as they awkwardly dance around topics they consider off limits when speaking to the opposite sex.
Just be cool.
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Its all about how you talk about it, if you act like its something to be ashamed of, people who know nothing about it will react that way naturally so avoid doing that. Make it sound like something awesome and keep going if they seem interested, ask questions, etc.. Keep in mind that to most people, having a one-way conversation with someone who rambles about something they dont know will tend to get boring rather quickly so react accordingly.
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The stigma is huge. Unfortunately.
But if you tell a good enough story, anything can sound good.
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My hobbies?
Leading armies into glorious battle. It's similar to being back in the stone-age just this time around I use my wits to outsmart that punk who tried to steal my bitches. Afterwards I bathe in the fountain of victory and prepare for stronger warriors who have heard the legendary tales about my abilities.
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United States15536 Posts
On my first date with my current girlfriend, I told her I spend my Friday nights playing a homebrew Pokemon tabletop RPG.
We've been dating for over a year now and are moving in together soon.
It shouldn't matter what you tell people as long as you're confident, personable, and respectful. If you're worth getting to know without talking about competitive gaming, you're worth getting to know with it.
And if it matters so much to a person that you're into something nerdy that they don't want to be around you then they're not worth knowing.
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On May 07 2013 03:29 jeerlessdogmas wrote:I'm afraid you've just described the majority of human beings, and the vast majority of young females who can be found at a party.
Sorry, but I won't succumb to misanthropy in pursuit of fostering relationships with others. A little bit of optimism goes a long way.
In fact, this speaks to a troubling phenomena amongst nerdy/intellectual men, in that they are willing to let relatively useless generalizations dictate their actions. Considerations about people in general stop being useful when one wishes to talk with a person, and far too many men treat a woman as they see women in general.
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On May 07 2013 03:30 farvacola wrote:Show nested quote +On May 07 2013 03:29 jeerlessdogmas wrote:On May 07 2013 02:30 farvacola wrote:
unless she's judgmental I'm afraid you've just described the majority of human beings, and the vast majority of young females who can be found at a party. Considerations about people in general stop being useful when one wishes to talk with a person, and far too many men treat a woman as they see women in general.
wat...disagree...and especially useful in meeting random people at parties
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On May 07 2013 03:40 sob3k wrote:Show nested quote +On May 07 2013 03:30 farvacola wrote:On May 07 2013 03:29 jeerlessdogmas wrote:On May 07 2013 02:30 farvacola wrote:
unless she's judgmental I'm afraid you've just described the majority of human beings, and the vast majority of young females who can be found at a party. Considerations about people in general stop being useful when one wishes to talk with a person, and far too many men treat a woman as they see women in general. wat...disagree...and especially useful in meeting random people at parties
Well, considering that it was you who earlier trumpeted a stigma regarding gaming and women, I'm going to have to assume that your strategy of treating individuals according to generalized notions isn't working so well. I mean, come on, there are a million different ways to turn "I like games" into a confident and attractive conversation starter. That is, of course, given that you haven't already decided that you're too awkward or that, because she's a girl, she'll be turned off.
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On May 07 2013 02:11 sob3k wrote:
I would not recommend talking about your passion for gaming to a girl at a party. If your hobbies or gaming come up just say you play games and maybe mention SC or whatever.
1. Gaming still has stigma attached
2. Regardless, it will probably make poor and one-sided conversation as the girl cannot relate and probably wont have notable gaming experience.
3. Bringing up gaming and trying to talk about it with girls at a party signals that you have poor social skills due to reason number two.
If you have reason to believe that the chick is GM on Korean server or whatever then go for it, otherwise its probably a poor idea.
I don't think there's any stigma attached for people under the age of 30 anymore. I talk to many, many girls and of course guys and not only at parties and 99% of the time when you meet someone they ask within the first 5 minutes "so what do you do?" and I always answer straight up "I drink rum and play starcraft" and most of the time they ask what it is and I just say it's a game where you build armies and try and kill your opponent and then we move on to other things. I've gone on to fuck/be friends with many of these people just fine. I think people just assume there is a stigma and never bring it up. Stop being a pussy about it, if you look/act like a nerd and THEN bring up that you play sc2 or lol or w/e a lot I think it's safe to say you are getting the "you're a nerd" look because of the way you look and act not because of what you just told the person. But as sob3k said it's not a good idea just to launch facts about you and your hobbies at a girl without asking her anything about herself so he's right that you shouldn't really just talk about your hobby with her expecting her to contribute.
edit: got beaten to the punch by all the other smart people in this thread  looks like more people realized what I realized than I thought
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On May 07 2013 03:42 farvacola wrote:Show nested quote +On May 07 2013 03:40 sob3k wrote:On May 07 2013 03:30 farvacola wrote:On May 07 2013 03:29 jeerlessdogmas wrote:On May 07 2013 02:30 farvacola wrote:
unless she's judgmental I'm afraid you've just described the majority of human beings, and the vast majority of young females who can be found at a party. Considerations about people in general stop being useful when one wishes to talk with a person, and far too many men treat a woman as they see women in general. wat...disagree...and especially useful in meeting random people at parties Well, considering that it was you who earlier trumpeted a stigma regarding gaming and women, I'm going to have to assume that your strategy of treating individuals according to generalized notions isn't working so well. I mean, come on, there are a million different ways to turn "I like games" into a confident and attractive conversation starter. That is, of course, given that you haven't already decided that you're too awkward or that, because she's a girl, she'll be turned off.
Are you denying that such a negative association exists among a large majority of women, particularly against more hardcore gaming?
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On May 07 2013 04:10 sob3k wrote:Show nested quote +On May 07 2013 03:42 farvacola wrote:On May 07 2013 03:40 sob3k wrote:On May 07 2013 03:30 farvacola wrote:On May 07 2013 03:29 jeerlessdogmas wrote:On May 07 2013 02:30 farvacola wrote:
unless she's judgmental I'm afraid you've just described the majority of human beings, and the vast majority of young females who can be found at a party. Considerations about people in general stop being useful when one wishes to talk with a person, and far too many men treat a woman as they see women in general. wat...disagree...and especially useful in meeting random people at parties Well, considering that it was you who earlier trumpeted a stigma regarding gaming and women, I'm going to have to assume that your strategy of treating individuals according to generalized notions isn't working so well. I mean, come on, there are a million different ways to turn "I like games" into a confident and attractive conversation starter. That is, of course, given that you haven't already decided that you're too awkward or that, because she's a girl, she'll be turned off. Are you denying that such a negative association exists among a large majority of women, particularly against more hardcore gaming?
I think that such an association certainly exists, but only in a general sense. Accordingly, in specificity, presentation, confidence, looks, and articulation prove far more influential. In other words, even a woman who adheres to the stereotype of "gamer hater" can easily be swayed if one challenges her notions of what it means to be a gamer. If she thinks all gamers are sniveling, awkward pasty skins who can't seem to form cogent sentence in front of her, and a gamer then comes up to her and says, "sup girl, you like playing games?" without looking like a total lame-o, she will almost certainly begin to change her mind.
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asian girls like playing video games
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Wow guys! (and girls) thank you for your replies, advices, and kind comments! Just what I expect from TL community.
Back into the topic: I used the girl at the party example because I think is a good example to set a limit, that's probably the most interesting situation to analize how a gamer shows his interest. I think I'm going to be more confident about my addiction to SC2, Dota and learning in further encounters (men or woman), without trying to force a conversation around it.
In this god-forsaken country I live, gaming is still seen as an akward hobby. I think there is a 5% chance that, someday, I'll arrive at office in the morning and have a short conversation with a friend saying like "hey, did you see WCS Code S yesterday? Parting did amazingly good against Live!!!"
Probably, that's just too much to ask for...
For now, Ill just try to be a little bit more confident about why I like competitive gaming without loooking like a 'fanboy'.
Thank you all ! :D
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I'd like to add something from my experience.
I've got a few friends who are also into gaming, but most of my friends are not. When the "right" people are together it surely can be tedious for the non-gamers to listen to our lengthy arguments about strategies, tournaments and whatnot. But as those people are my friends, they won't say "aaah go away with your freaky stuff", mostly they'll happily ignore us or will shout something like "nerd nerd nerd", when we're going to far. (i.e. when we start to ignore the "normal" people around us.")
Of course, you should be a bit cautious when it comes to meeting new people. As others have already stated, there's still some kind of stigma attached to gaming (sadly...), so don't go like a bull at a gate. Talking about interests and hobbies is always a nice way to get in touch with new people. Just avoid talking about the metagame in zvp. 
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EPT
