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Dear You,
First off, I'm getting too old to write stuff like this. Guys my age should know better than to bitch about their love lives because at my age we should know better than to fall in love. We should know better than to believe in a stupid goal like that. Instead, we should focus on attaining more realistic things--things like that next offer, like that decent grad school, like that girl who's been a bridesmaid in too many weddings and has seen all her friends end up in what society defines as "happily ever after" and is therefore willing to settle down with the number three or number four guy on her little internal list and keep that a secret until the inevitable divorce attorneys get involved. Or--not even that girl, really, what we really should want is the derivatives off that underlying asset--the looks of admiring jealousy from our co-workers and college buddies, the photos she'll tag on instagram of us passed out in boxer shorts with some insipid hashtag like "<3 harmless panda from your cub" or "poor piggy after a hard day of work" (yes, yes, because at our age, when he buys her nice things to make up for talking to the voicemail lady more often than he talks to her it's something to brag about), the brief flashes of orgasmic bliss across an eighty-hour workweek.
But no--this letter isn't to her, it's to you. You're not her. You're. Not. Her. At least that's what I repeat to myself in bed, as I watch continual versions of her leave their perfume trails across my double pillow, the pillow I tell all those versions of her that my mom bought for me so they won't stop and wonder how many versions of her I have actually been with and how many random towels and pillows and stuffed animals and leather bags and tight jeans they have left in my closet, on my bed, across birthdays and Christmases and a pair of "oops I did it again" moments.
Anyhow. To you, even though I've never met you.
I hope money doesn't impress you. I hope you're not that type of girl who says money doesn't impress her but goes on to state that her husband should be successful and generous and respect her enough to make her feel independent (split bills all the way) while still having the raw mojo to be 'supportive' (like editing her thesis at 3AM when he has a 7AM flight or getting her a trail of job interviews at the legal firms his firm pays to do their contractual documentation work or making the right introductions to the right professors whose positions his company or government agency endows). I hope you're not that type of girl because I won't be doing that for you, because I'm dumb as a rock and when a girl tells me she wants to be independent I actually expect her to mean it. I hope you won't bitch at your friends when I tell you I won't do those things, because the walls in my apartment are paper-thin and I can hear what people in my bedroom say on the phone when I'm taking a shower.
Which goes to my second point: I hope you mean what you say. I hope that when you say "in good times and bad" and that when you believe in "sticking up for your friends and family" that it means you'll actually do that. I hope this means you won't tell me that in one breath and then tell me you feel bad for your mom because your mom was so pretty when she was young (like you might be right now) and she picked the wrong husband and your dad is now a jobless high-IQ dweeb with poor social skills predicated on an inability to "manipulate situations to his advantage" but it's okay because I'll never be like that. That's not a compliment because my dad himself is kind of a high-IQ dweeb with poor social skills with no ability to manipulate situations to his advantage and my greatest fear, deep down inside, is that if I end up like him and if hard times hit the person who I thought I loved all my life will take the kids and leave like my mom almost did when I was eight.
I hope you fall in love with me for the stories I tell, not because of the stories others tell about me.
I hope we spend weekends in bed debating whether China, Japan, and the US will go to war in the next ten years or whether WeChat can ever make it out of the Asia market or whether He-3 lunar mining is economically feasible in our lifetimes or whether it's better to read Mo Yan before or after one reads Faulkner and Marquez. I hope I can propose to you by printing the words "will you marry me" in Size 50000 font on the back of my parachute before I jump out of a plane ahead of you, because I promised to you that I would propose in such a way where the entire world would see the proposal but you would have at least 10 minutes to consider it in absolute silence and privacy.
I hope I can teach someone with my nose and your eyes how to ride a bike. I hope we can grow old together on an island somewhere in Puget Sound or on a foggy hillside in Oregon or Norcal, where it's never too cold or too hot and we'll have all the self-made wine we can drink on a patch of beach we own, and the fish are always fresh and in season but we'll still be within a hundred fifty miles of an international airport so my frequent flyer miles are actually usable. I hope that when I shuffle off this mortal coil you'll be holding my hand or vice versa. I hope you'll bug me about converting to your deity for no other reason than to make sure we get the same outcome of Pascal's Wager.
I hope you believe me when I look into your eyes over a glass of Sauternes and tell you these things even though everything about me up to that point has indicated I'm just another suited cowboy dual-wielding other people's money and other people's ideas. I hope when I ask you what you want over a long gabardine pillow you're smart enough to ask me which ex gave me the pillow and then tell me with far fewer words the same thing that I told you. I hope we mean it and we believe each other. I hope we fall in love, even though we both should know better. I hope.
  
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"High IQ dweeb with poor social skills who can't manipulate any situation to his advantage"
I have a feeling this pretty much describes 99% of us here in TL.
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:/ i feel sorry for you.... 
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On February 25 2013 03:46 xOsweetDream wrote::/ i feel sorry for you....
This is the last girl blog I will write.
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If you don't mind asking, how old are you shady? late 20s?
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On February 25 2013 04:16 AUGcodon wrote:
If you don't mind asking, how old are you shady? late 20s?
early 20s
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;;
Though knowing you, this probably won't be the very last girl blog you write. Maybe the last one for a while.
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After reading all your blogs I feel really bad for you and your cynical views on dating. I don't know if you're just unlucky or what, but most girls in the world aren't like the ones you've had experiences with. Maybe you should get outside the fake and poisonous world of high finance/biglaw/consulting if you're really looking for somebody to spend your life with.
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I like reading your blogs because even though they're depressing, they're romantic. ^_^
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On February 25 2013 04:30 iamho wrote:
After reading all your blogs I feel really bad for you and your cynical views on dating. I don't know if you're just unlucky or what, but most girls in the world aren't like the ones you've had experiences with. Maybe you should get outside the fake and poisonous world of high finance/biglaw/consulting if you're really looking for somebody to spend your life with.
Easier said than done, considering 90% of my RL friends orbit in this space
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I know exactly how you feel Shady, I really do. And I too hope such a person exists. I hope... just like you do.
But you know what?
This kind of person is exceedingly rare. In fact the odds that you will meet one in your lifetime and they will be single is almost null. (assuming that you are heterosexual male looking for female, which you personally are)
I know this. You know this. We don't like it. And so we hope..
Somehow I still manage to be phased that no matter how much the tip-top of human intellectuality pushes the boundaries of our collective knowledge, experience and understanding, the intellect of the truly average bloke only seems to decline ever-so-steeply. The internet is getting more and more accessible at faster rates, leading to easy access to an unfathomable and comprehensive amount of knowledge, at our very fingertips, figuratively speaking. And yet all we see is an increasing materialism, consumerism, a tendency towards the shallow and superficial, an overindulgence in cheap entertainment and worthless clutter. And I guess neither you nor I can escape all of that completely, although at least we're aware.
Somehow though I find that it's usually guys who tend to be more pensive and philosophical in the manner you describe in the OP. I suppose it's a self-fulfilling self-perpetuating social preconception that girls shouldn't care about anything of that sort... I don't know though.
I feel you though...
On February 25 2013 05:14 ghrur wrote:
I like reading your blogs because even though they're depressing, they're romantic. ^_^
It's sad... I find it quite ironic how it is girls that always complain about some lack of romance, even though it's the genuinely romantic men who suffer the most when they realize that it's an ideal that no matter how satisfying it sounds on paper still does not have much basis in reality, at least not anymore.
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On February 25 2013 05:37 MasterOfPuppets wrote:
Somehow though I find that it's usually guys who tend to be more pensive and philosophical in the manner you describe in the OP. I suppose it's a self-fulfilling self-perpetuating social preconception that girls shouldn't care about anything of that sort... I don't know though.
There's a tendency nowadays to think that only "We" think in a certain manner, that only "We" are complicated enough or concerned enough to have these problems when, more likely than not, everybody thinks something along these lines at some point in their lives.
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On February 25 2013 05:48 babylon wrote:Show nested quote +On February 25 2013 05:37 MasterOfPuppets wrote:
Somehow though I find that it's usually guys who tend to be more pensive and philosophical in the manner you describe in the OP. I suppose it's a self-fulfilling self-perpetuating social preconception that girls shouldn't care about anything of that sort... I don't know though. There's a tendency nowadays to think that only "We" think in a certain manner, that only "We" are complicated enough or concerned enough to have these problems when, more likely than not, everybody thinks something along these lines at some point in their lives.
I definitely understand where you're coming from. But the obvious question is then: why do the actions of so many others do not reflect this pensive, intellectual nature, and instead only the lack thereof? Why?
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On February 25 2013 05:51 MasterOfPuppets wrote:Show nested quote +On February 25 2013 05:48 babylon wrote:On February 25 2013 05:37 MasterOfPuppets wrote:
Somehow though I find that it's usually guys who tend to be more pensive and philosophical in the manner you describe in the OP. I suppose it's a self-fulfilling self-perpetuating social preconception that girls shouldn't care about anything of that sort... I don't know though. There's a tendency nowadays to think that only "We" think in a certain manner, that only "We" are complicated enough or concerned enough to have these problems when, more likely than not, everybody thinks something along these lines at some point in their lives. I definitely understand where you're coming from. But the obvious question is then: why do the actions of so many others do not reflect this pensive, intellectual nature, and instead only the lack thereof? Why?
Because it's easier to fake it?
I mean, I've faked this sort of devil-may-care attitude towards love and it just works. Trouble is, it's fake. I really want to be romantic, I really do. But every time I let my guard down somebody gets hurt. After a while, I just give up.
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Have you tried online dating?
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On February 25 2013 05:51 MasterOfPuppets wrote:Show nested quote +On February 25 2013 05:48 babylon wrote:On February 25 2013 05:37 MasterOfPuppets wrote:
Somehow though I find that it's usually guys who tend to be more pensive and philosophical in the manner you describe in the OP. I suppose it's a self-fulfilling self-perpetuating social preconception that girls shouldn't care about anything of that sort... I don't know though. There's a tendency nowadays to think that only "We" think in a certain manner, that only "We" are complicated enough or concerned enough to have these problems when, more likely than not, everybody thinks something along these lines at some point in their lives. I definitely understand where you're coming from. But the obvious question is then: why do the actions of so many others do not reflect this pensive, intellectual nature, and instead only the lack thereof? Why?
It is the classic problem where you aim for a Type that is not naturally predisposed to thinking about others in a pensive, intellectual manner. Then you bemoan this lack of your "Ideal Pensive, Intellectual, Philosophical Type" when you are not truly even moving in circles where you can find them.
Shady is the classic example. He dates people associated with the finance world. Hell, are you surprised he finds materialistic girls?
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On February 25 2013 05:54 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On February 25 2013 05:51 MasterOfPuppets wrote:On February 25 2013 05:48 babylon wrote:On February 25 2013 05:37 MasterOfPuppets wrote:
Somehow though I find that it's usually guys who tend to be more pensive and philosophical in the manner you describe in the OP. I suppose it's a self-fulfilling self-perpetuating social preconception that girls shouldn't care about anything of that sort... I don't know though. There's a tendency nowadays to think that only "We" think in a certain manner, that only "We" are complicated enough or concerned enough to have these problems when, more likely than not, everybody thinks something along these lines at some point in their lives. I definitely understand where you're coming from. But the obvious question is then: why do the actions of so many others do not reflect this pensive, intellectual nature, and instead only the lack thereof? Why? Because it's easier to fake it? I mean, I've faked this sort of devil-may-care attitude towards love and it just works. Trouble is, it's fake. I really want to be romantic, I really do. But every time I let my guard down somebody gets hurt. After a while, I just give up.
If they are attracted to you for certain qualities that you purposefully play up, you shouldn't be surprised when they tend to value those "fake" qualities of you more highly than other aspects of yourself. You are advertising yourself as A, B, C. You will attract girls who like A, B, C. Don't bemoan that they don't care about D when D wasn't even in the ad.
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Hehehe, I like the way you put that babylon 
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On February 25 2013 06:03 babylon wrote:Show nested quote +On February 25 2013 05:54 Shady Sands wrote:On February 25 2013 05:51 MasterOfPuppets wrote:On February 25 2013 05:48 babylon wrote:On February 25 2013 05:37 MasterOfPuppets wrote:
Somehow though I find that it's usually guys who tend to be more pensive and philosophical in the manner you describe in the OP. I suppose it's a self-fulfilling self-perpetuating social preconception that girls shouldn't care about anything of that sort... I don't know though. There's a tendency nowadays to think that only "We" think in a certain manner, that only "We" are complicated enough or concerned enough to have these problems when, more likely than not, everybody thinks something along these lines at some point in their lives. I definitely understand where you're coming from. But the obvious question is then: why do the actions of so many others do not reflect this pensive, intellectual nature, and instead only the lack thereof? Why? Because it's easier to fake it? I mean, I've faked this sort of devil-may-care attitude towards love and it just works. Trouble is, it's fake. I really want to be romantic, I really do. But every time I let my guard down somebody gets hurt. After a while, I just give up. If they are attracted to you for certain qualities that you purposefully play up, you shouldn't be surprised when they tend to value those "fake" qualities of you more highly than other aspects of yourself. You are advertising yourself as A, B, C. You will attract girls who like A, B, C. Don't bemoan that they don't care about D when D wasn't even in the ad.
Maybe. Good idea, I'll give this a try 
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EPT![[image loading]](http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/together.png)
