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Counseling?
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IMoperator
4476 Posts
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Chairman Ray
United States11903 Posts
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Scarecrow
Korea (South)9175 Posts
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IMoperator
4476 Posts
On February 14 2013 13:59 Chairman Ray wrote: If you are not comfortable with speaking about your problems to other people, why not elicit them here? A lot of TLers are great at giving advise. As for counseling, a counselor cannot prescribe medication, but if they think you may require it, they may refer you to a psychiatrist, who can prescribe medication. umm I usually use throwaway account's on reddit's /r/suicidewatch or /r/depression if I want to talk about stuff. Thanks for the info. | ||
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IMoperator
4476 Posts
On February 14 2013 14:03 Scarecrow wrote: I've been and it was really helpful, though I had to shop around a little to find one I was comfortable opening up to. They don't prescribe anything, they'll generally just help you understand the roots of your negative feelings and ways to deal with them. Alright, that sounds good. I'm still really nervous about it though :/ I hope it goes alright. | ||
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RBKeys
Canada196 Posts
Number 1 thing, though: Don't be nervous. Be open and honest and remember that the person sitting across from you is trying to help you, but they can't until you're willing to help yourself. It seems counter-intuitive, but stick with it, give up your apprehension and fear, and you'll see that true healing is going to come from within -- counselling is just equipping you with the tools to do that. The way I looked at it was that there was that there is a wall in your mind that's been preventing you from moving forward, but all you have to knock it down is a little hammer. Then you go to counselling and they equip you with a wrecking ball to smash the wall down. But you can't just hop in and start operating it, you need to put in the time to learn how to control it. Once you do, though, the walls you encounter in the future will start to look a whole lot smaller. | ||
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IMoperator
4476 Posts
On February 14 2013 14:13 RBKeys wrote: They won't just prescribe medication right off the bat. From a lot of doctors/psychologists that I've met and talked with, medication is the absolute last route they like to take . . . so don't worry too much about that. As far as what you do there . . . counselling techniques will vary from doctor to doctor usually, but the main theme will be talking. My counsellor had me do EMDR to help me with my anxiety issues (that was a route for my low self esteem, ocd, depression, etc.) and I found it really helpful because it helped bring up deep-seeded stuff from my past that I had nearly forgot. Number 1 thing, though: Don't be nervous. Be open and honest and remember that the person sitting across from you is trying to help you, but they can't until you're willing to help yourself. It seems counter-intuitive, but stick with it, give up your apprehension and fear, and you'll see that true healing is going to come from within -- counselling is just equipping you with the tools to do that. The way I looked at it was that there was that there is a wall in your mind that's been preventing you from moving forward, but all you have to knock it down is a little hammer. Then you go to counselling and they equip you with a wrecking ball to smash the wall down. But you can't just hop in and start operating it, you need to put in the time to learn how to control it. Once you do, though, the walls you encounter in the future will start to look a whole lot smaller. Did it feel fake though? Like they're just listening to you and stuff because it's their job? | ||
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FractalsOnFire
Australia1756 Posts
On February 14 2013 14:46 IMoperator wrote: Did it feel fake though? Like they're just listening to you and stuff because it's their job? Does it matter if they're also doing it for money? They're there to help people solve their issues. People get paid to do things they like as well, it shouldn't change whether they're making coffee or listening and helping people to solve their issues. Do you just want someone to listen or do you actually want to change for the better? | ||
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Aerisky
United States12129 Posts
Even barring that, as Fractals said, you could have a counselor in it for the money who is fantastic at helping people, or you could have a counselor who loves his/her job and wants to help but will not be able to help you. Good luck and I hope it goes well. | ||
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RBKeys
Canada196 Posts
On February 14 2013 14:46 IMoperator wrote: + Show Spoiler + On February 14 2013 14:13 RBKeys wrote: They won't just prescribe medication right off the bat. From a lot of doctors/psychologists that I've met and talked with, medication is the absolute last route they like to take . . . so don't worry too much about that. As far as what you do there . . . counselling techniques will vary from doctor to doctor usually, but the main theme will be talking. My counsellor had me do EMDR to help me with my anxiety issues (that was a route for my low self esteem, ocd, depression, etc.) and I found it really helpful because it helped bring up deep-seeded stuff from my past that I had nearly forgot. Number 1 thing, though: Don't be nervous. Be open and honest and remember that the person sitting across from you is trying to help you, but they can't until you're willing to help yourself. It seems counter-intuitive, but stick with it, give up your apprehension and fear, and you'll see that true healing is going to come from within -- counselling is just equipping you with the tools to do that. The way I looked at it was that there was that there is a wall in your mind that's been preventing you from moving forward, but all you have to knock it down is a little hammer. Then you go to counselling and they equip you with a wrecking ball to smash the wall down. But you can't just hop in and start operating it, you need to put in the time to learn how to control it. Once you do, though, the walls you encounter in the future will start to look a whole lot smaller. Did it feel fake though? Like they're just listening to you and stuff because it's their job? For me, not at all. One reason is because you're not talking for their sake, you're talking for yours. That changes the dynamic of the conversation a bit because things become a bit more like you're talking to yourself. See, the main role of the counsellor is not to listen and sympathize, it's to listen and help objectify what you're saying inorder to give you the perspective that you're missing. You talk, they listen and pick out key things about what you're saying, then relay that stuff back to you to unlock more things and the cycle repeats. They do lend insight, of course, as to what may mean what, or why things may be the way they are, and they're not machines devoid of feeling (although they will create boundaries so the patient/doctor line isn't crossed) so, if necessary, they may try and comfort you (sometimes we need to be told things aren't our fault, or things are okay -- there's no plain, black and white answer). But all in all the process has a very large technical aspect to it, because, again, it comes down to the idea of them equipping you to help yourself. With that, whether it's real or fake comes down to you. Are you being open and truthful? Are you really trying to get to the bottom of your problems? Things like that. Now, of course, there can always be counsellors out there that are crappy and you may not feel like what they're telling you is helpful at all. If that's the case then try somewhere else, but don't give up. | ||
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Aerisky
United States12129 Posts
Reading that, I actually want to talk to one myself, just for the perspective (and because it sounds really interesting). I feel like a lot of people could use some counseling from someone who isn't a friend, even if they don't have mental disorders or things that they want to sort out in their lives. I may not have anything severe going on or particularly traumatic experiences or what have you, but for some reason, I feel like it would be nice to talk to a counselor. | ||
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sam!zdat
United States5559 Posts
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Targe
United Kingdom14103 Posts
Anger management, ADHD, ODD, constantly near getting kicked out of school Go for it, if you don't like it after one session you don't have to continue. | ||
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Gibbas[Arm]
United States6 Posts
RBKeys is absolutely right. Counselors themselves don't prescribe medication and generally don't want to go that way, but they will have ways for you to meet people who can prescribe medications. Also, total honesty is the way to go. The counselor isn't there to judge you and they even if they wanted to, they aren't allowed to tell anybody your private stuff. The most important part, though, is deciding whether or not you want to do it. I had some big problems with anxiety and it was hard for me to go to meetings just because of that. But, the bottom line was that I wanted to get better and so I did everything I could to help myself and to help my counselor to get the most accurate information he needed, regardless of how I felt about any of it at the time. I knew it was going to help me at that I would be better off because of it. If you really want to do it, then you can do it. I really recommend counseling to anybody no matter how severe their problems are. Good luck dude. | ||
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Melliflue
United Kingdom1389 Posts
One big advantage of counselling I found was being able to talk about myself and purely myself. I would feel guilty talking like that to my friends regularly, but at counselling it is about you and you can be self-centred. So it is not the same as talking about your problems with anyone else. One way to think about it; the counsellor is more than likely doing that job because they care (I imagine the pay isn't great), and even if they are in it for the money then as with any service they need customers, and if nobody would go talk about their problems then the counsellor would be unemployed. An important thing about medication; a counsellor cannot prescribe medication (as has already been said) but may suggest talking to a GP or a psychiatrist about the possibility of medication, but nobody will say that you must take medication, it is your choice. On February 14 2013 14:05 IMoperator wrote: umm I usually use throwaway account's on reddit's /r/suicidewatch or /r/depression if I want to talk about stuff. Thanks for the info. If you ever feel suicidal then I would recommend talking to someone about it. Counsellors are there to help. Good luck with it! | ||
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hp.Shell
United States2527 Posts
I recommend meditation, but who has time for that these days? Also when I got free counseling at college they invited me to this Cognitive Behavioral Therapy group which was supposed to help. I never went but I really wish I had tried it. I think a lot of people have similar problems and they think they are the only one who feels bad or who has the same situation. Really a lot of people are a similar situation and it helps to open up to people. If some stranger greets you with "how are you?" don't just say you're good, tell them the truth. Some people might try to help, some might not. It's up to you. | ||
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FractalsOnFire
Australia1756 Posts
http://therawness.com/reader-letters-1-part-5/ And if you want to go one step further, the complete series is an absolute gem. Albeit almost like reading a novella. | ||
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