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Here we go again.
Not so much has happened since my last entry. My friends are still together and obviously happy. I am still angry as hell every time i see one of them and even worse when i see them both together. Got a message from her saying she can't understand why it's so hard for me. I guess she doesn't know me as good as i thought. I just can't get over it, i don't want to be angry anymore but I can't get rid of the feelings. So much anger, so much rage....
Currently i'm trying to vent all my feelings in the gym. It works most of the time. Right now i'm going 5 times a week. Two days cardio and three days weights. Additionally I now ride my bike to work, it's only about three mile one way but it's better then nothing. I dropped about 30 lbs
in the last two month, my arms and upper body are starting to look a bit more defined. I changed my diet a bit too, less carbs more protein. It's mostly turkey and tuna these days and vegetables. I even started to eat salad sometimes even though i can't stand that stuff. I just don't like the taste of it i guess.
 
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If you don't like salad then just eat some other vegetable/fruit. There is no reason for using that exact vegetable.
As for rage issues. I can't relate since I am a pretty mellow person and longest rage I've had was ~3 minutes about 10 years ago.
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all the gym and healthier food seems really awesome, but It wont last forever and certainly not when you motivate it by rage.
Why dont you go talk to someone? I mean counceling. that actually helps a lot more than you'd expect.
Rage can be a very hurtful thing for those around you, trust me I know.
rather than trying to rely on it and get dependant on it to motivate you, try to get rid of the attitude, find out why you get so angry by go to councelling and fix your problems permanently 
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So, the TL:DR of the story (previous blog) is that your crush and former flatmate broke up with her boyfrend, and after a few days started going out with another flatmate of yours instead of yourself, is that right?
I say fuck them. As in, don't give a flying shit about them anymore. Everytime you start thinking about them, force yourself to focus on something else, be it your last starcraft game, to calculate whigh weight will you be able to squat by the end of the month, or whatever else you can come about. You have to realize that your happiness only depends on yourself, and if you put it in the hands of the others, you are bound to suffer experiences like these. Right now you are full of anger because of these other two people; so whenever you give in the rage they are winning. Fuck them and start winning by yourself.
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On February 10 2013 06:14 Ender985 wrote:
So, the TL:DR of the story (previous blog) is that your crush and former flatmate broke up with her boyfrend, and after a few days started going out with another flatmate of yours instead of yourself, is that right?
I say fuck them. As in, don't give a flying shit about them anymore. Everytime you start thinking about them, force yourself to focus on something else, be it your last starcraft game, to calculate whigh weight will you be able to squat by the end of the month, or whatever else you can come about. You have to realize that your happiness only depends on yourself, and if you put it in the hands of the others, you are bound to suffer experiences like these. Right now you are full of anger because of these other two people; so whenever you give in the rage they are winning. Fuck them and start winning by yourself.
that seems stupid to be honest, isnt it better if a person learn ton confront whatever is upsetting him/ her rather than avoiding thinking about it?
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Here is the question you must ask yourself. Do you love her, or do you desire her?
If you desire her, then realize this: she is not the only girl you'll ever desire. She is probably not the girl you will desire most. Then, find other girls you desire and persue them instead. This should help you stop thinking about her, thus decreasing the pain, and if you're successful in your other persuits, it will also increase your happiness.
If you love her, really love her, then you want her to be happy. You probably also desire her, but if you actually love her, it's not about what makes you happy, it's about what makes her happy. And her being able to choose who she wants a relationship makes her happy. Her friendship with you makes her happy, but you being so furious about not getting her probably doesn't make her happy. Remember, if you love her, it's not about you, it's about her. So let her go, and let her be happy. Otherwise you're lying to yourself, and you don't actually love her. And then you should let her go by persuing other women.
Maybe, just maybe, someday in the future her opinion of you might change. She might want you as more than friends. But that day is not today. And holding out until that day comes is foolishness. It might never come. And if you keep going the way you're going, if that day came, you wouldn't even want her, because thinking of the pain she caused you would never stop hurting you as long as you know her. So, for both your sake, let her go. And the easiest/best way to do that is to look for other girls.
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i can understand being upset over her not liking you back, but why the hell would you be so mad about her liking someone else? that's just stupid. you have no reason to be angry with them at all. you're being immature. that being said, the best choice here is to move out and just avoid them since you clearly have issues with controling your emotions
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I'm not mad about them being together, that part is just jealousy. I'm mad about how the whole thing went over.
Lets use some names to make it easier to understand(changed of course).
Andrew, Christine and Jessy
Andrew and Christine are my current flatmates and were a couple.
Jessy is my Ex-flatmate and the one i fell in love with.
So I came clean a few days before new years eve. The breakup of Andrew and Christine was at January 11th. Andrew and Jessy apparently started dating sometime in December. And between my confession and the breakup Andrew and Jessy just plain lied to my face about the whole thing, Thats what makes(or in fact, made, it's getting better) me angry.
So not only did he lie to me but also cheated on his girlfriend.
I don't trust someone easily but when I do I give my full trust you could say I'm as loyal as a dog. I don't take such things very good apparently.
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even as a best friend, you don't have a right to know every single detail about his or her love life. and from the sounds of how they reacted and your reaction here, im gonna guess that you might have issues with anger in general??
even if you didn't prior to this, them keeping that quiet from you is pretty logical. you confessed your love and she knew you were reeling from it not being reciprocated. they both see you as a friend; they dont wanna make you any more upset than you already obviously are
put it this way: you'd have been pissed if he/she told you right off the bat, don't you think?
it doesn't seem like anything at all to do with the way they did it, but everything to do with that she sees you as a friend, but now she's dating a dude who she previously saw only as a friend too.
what do you honestly see as the betrayal here? that he didn't tell you right away that he liked her (why would this even be an issue?) or that he liked a girl that you have a thing for (which is all kinds of fucked up and creepy possessive, and what my money is on)
i mean i could see being disappointed in your friends for cheating, i could see being annoyed that he screwed over your roomate if she was someone you'd consider a best friend, but that's about it.
take a breath, step back and think about it. youre the one overreacting here
that being said, if it bothers you as much as it seems to, your best bet might be to move out and learn how to cope with your anger issues
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EPT
