EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/bMNAzbQ.png)
This is a story about my Dad and his trashy fourth wife Cara digging through the city dump in an attempt to find valuables, or anything they can get rich selling. Hope you enjoy it! =D
My dad, Cara and the truck loudly idled in the driveway while I silently moved bags of trash from the front porch to the bed of the truck. A typical trash bag in our house consisted of 40% overdue debt collection notices and 60% beer cans, and when each bag of trash hit the bed of the truck it created the piercing sound of metal hitting metal. My dad rolled down his window and yelled,
“HURRY UP! Get in the truck! We don’t got all day!”
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/gl2D1Ar.png)
Actually, they did have all day. They could’ve sat in the cab of that truck for months and nobody would’ve ever noticed, but they had a plan to execute today– a purpose. Their plan was to drive 30 minutes to the city dump of a richer neighborhood posing as if they were dropping off their trash, and then put on thigh-high waders and sift through the mountain of garbage, looking for clothes or valuables. My dad DID have a birthday coming up, after all. The truck was the only vehicle we owned that had a working radio, and they took full advantage of it. They rolled down the windows and played country music so loud that I felt each kick of the bass drum in my chest, like a pacemaker keeping me alive against my own will. Somewhere during the course of them loudly singing the third chorus of “Redneck Yacht Club”, a small sports car darted into the road directly in front of us and my dad desperately slammed on the breaks and turned the steering wheel, narrowly avoiding the accident. All of the coffee cups, junk mail and plastic action figures that littered the dashboard flew all over the cab of the truck and the sports car sped off.
“What the fuck?” Cara said, “He LITERALLY almost hit you!”
If you analyze a catastrophic event that changes the course of history long enough, you can always find one man who is responsible. It was late on a Saturday in 2008 when Joe Rogan was commentating a UFC match and described the atmosphere as best he could. “THE CROWD IS LITERALLY ON FIRE!!”
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/gYxj9Pg.png)
Read the rest of the story at: www.caseofthemondaysblog.com
For funny 130 character BS: www.twitter.com/stephenwestsc
Check out my most recent listverse list about children's toys that answered their call to help America when our fat asses needed them most:
http://listverse.com/2013/02/01/10-toys-that-did-more-for-the-us-than-most-people/
. If you want to crosspost, that is fine with me, I have no issue with it, but don't tease us and make us go to your other blog to read the rest. If you want you, cross post it and link your other blog so we can read it off their if we like, but don't post half and full like you are doing, that isn't cool imho. I enjoyed this blog, greating ending.
