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Hi there, I'm a 22-year-old Asian guy living in Vietnam.
For the last few years I've been having this weird mental habit: Whenever my mind is not busy with thinking, I tend to create scenarios in my head where I talk to ppl and/or myself. The scenarios can be in any time frame, from way back in the past or in the far future. But they have one thing in common: they never happened/haven't happened yet. Most of them are just me doing/saying cool stuffs then getting attention from people because of it. It makes me feel like an attention whore.
Recently it's been getting worse. I can't seem to do anything without creating imaginary scenarios every once in a while. I tried to focus on the outside, on other people but it doesn't last long.
I think this started back in high school, where I go to a class with 40 girls and only 7 guys. The girls would give me massive amounts of attention that I pretty much didn't deserve and couldn't handle.
I've read many self-help articles, mostly about being myself and developing positive traits. I think my main problems are low self-esteem (probably inherited from parents) and having no one by my side to help me (the ppl around me are very boring, if not negative. Whenever I met a person with a positive attitude I always felt like falling in love with them, even if they're old men (I'm not gay!).
Life's short, I think the last 10 years of nothingness is enough. I actually made a blog entry like every year to motivate myself, but the motivation only last a few days, then I would be back to being lonely and a people pleaser. Damn.
Seriously, how do one stay positive and motivated everyday, while being surrounded by negative ppl?.
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I've once heard that when trying to get into new habits the first two weeks are the biggest problem, after that it becomes a lot easier, so don't lose your motivation too quickly mate.
And I think it's perfectly normal with having such scenarios, especially if you aren't around people too much.
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Hm. Sounds like you're taking too much on at once, and trying to be perfect right off the bat is a sure path to failure, believe me. Perhaps you could try something small, whatever it is, just make sure you stick with it. Something you've probably heard, but it bears repeating.
About the negative people, maybe you could try finding some alone activities you could immerse yourself in. I'm assuming you're an introvert, I'm one myself. Maybe you're putting too much pressure on yourself to behave in extroverted ways? That's also a pretty big source of stress. Trying not to be yourself that is. I got years of experience on that one too 
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what makes you happy? DO that
and if you lose motivation, just read your blog again or listen to something that can motivate you.
Just know, you won't always be alone, just keep improving your life with what YOU want and then the right people will come
edit: and it is true, if you're trying something new. the first days/weeks are the hardest, but once you're used to it. it's very easy
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On January 27 2013 22:33 Garnet wrote:
Hi there, I'm a 22-year-old Asian guy living in Vietnam.
For the last few years I've been having this weird mental habit: Whenever my mind is not busy with thinking, I tend to create scenarios in my head where I talk to ppl and/or myself. The scenarios can be in any time frame, from way back in the past or in the far future. But they have one thing in common: they never happened/haven't happened yet. Most of them are just me doing/saying cool stuffs then getting attention from people because of it. It makes me feel like an attention whore.
Recently it's been getting worse. I can't seem to do anything without creating imaginary scenarios every once in a while. I tried to focus on the outside, on other people but it doesn't last long.
I think this started back in high school, where I go to a class with 40 girls and only 7 guys. The girls would give me massive amounts of attention that I pretty much didn't deserve and couldn't handle.
I've read many self-help articles, mostly about being myself and developing positive traits. I think my main problems are low self-esteem (probably inherited from parents) and having no one by my side to help me (the ppl around me are very boring, if not negative. Whenever I met a person with a positive attitude I always felt like falling in love with them, even if they're old men (I'm not gay!).
Life's short, I think the last 10 years of nothingness is enough. I actually made a blog entry like every year to motivate myself, but the motivation only last a few days, then I would be back to being lonely and a people pleaser. Damn.
Seriously, how do one stay positive and motivated everyday, while being surrounded by negative ppl?.
First of all, take a deep breath. There's nothing really wrong with you, you're just being a hypochondriac. My brother is one so that's why I know why, and I am kind of one at times.
Second - There isn't anything wrong with you. Your brain is just really active, and the reason you find a lot of people boring is because they're not on the same level as your brain (whether or not that's above or below is irrelevant).
When I was a kid, my imagination was bad ass. It still is, but as a kid I used it a hell of a lot more. I would be outside in my parents backyard swinging a broomstick (without the broom part) around my head pretending I was casting spells, and slaying demons. It was fun. If I had the yard and privacy, I would so do it now. But I don't, so you know what I do? I have pretend conversations with people. Mostly myself, but every once in awhile when I know I have to talk to someone about something important (boss, girlfriend, parents etc), I will pretend I'm talking to them because I think it helps me really solidify what I'm saying.
What I'm getting at here is that you have a lot of life to live and a lot of people to meet. You're not crazy, and while you may (since you said) lack confidence, I really doubt you have self-esteem issues. Seriously, just take a deep breath, remember that there 6+ billion people on this planet, and the chances of you not finding someone who will understand you is extremely unlikely. I would say you're more likely to win the lottery than not find that "someone", whoever that may be.
May the force be with you.
EDIT: I didn't mean to come of harsh if I did. I don't think you're stupid or dumb for thinking this way. In fact, I find posters like you WAY more enjoyable because you're willing to admit there might be something wrong with you, and I actually think that gives you more self-esteem than you think... haha.
DOUBLE edit: also, this. Very much this.
On January 27 2013 23:32 r1flEx wrote:
what makes you happy? DO that
and if you lose motivation, just read your blog again or listen to something that can motivate you.
Just know, you won't always be alone, just keep improving your life with what YOU want and then the right people will come
edit: and it is true, if you're trying something new. the first days/weeks are the hardest, but once you're used to it. it's very easy
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I never had the problem about imaginary scenarios. However I did have a quite big period of my life where I felt I was stranded alone on a planet with sheep(people) following everyone. I felt my intelligence was far superior to most people. (I found out that this has a lot to do with education + + rather than the intelligence of people) I spent a lot of time alone in middle to high school because I focused on getting good grades to get into med school. (I am in medical school now). But my father taught me something that I have used to move forward and be much much stronger than I was before.
"Don't care about what people think about you" - My Dad.
"Don't trust anyone" - My Dad.
I couldn't see how that would work. But I know my dad is a successful boss in a big oil company.
This is what shocked me in the start. Thinking like that. It sounded bizarre. I took it into consideration at first. But I could not imagine living like that. I was focused on brands, looks, who I hang out with and all that superficial sort of stuff. (Though I am an introvert I still hang with friends now and then)
It has made my life so much more enjoyable. Developing that kind of mindset made my confidence shoot to the sky. I don't mean necessarily thinking negative about everyone. But just don't care if anyone has an opinion about you that you like or do not like. It's your choice whatever you do. And it is your life.
About trusting no one is of course not to be taken literally. It has helped me too. Especially in high school and medical school. Trusting yourself. Doing things your way. Learning stuff your own way. This is SO important to develop an independent lifestyle.
I am trying to say. Trust yourself. Do what YOU want to do in life. Of course - it would have to involve something that will feed you and your family when you get to that stage. But other than that. Figure out something that makes you happy. And do not care one damn second if people tell you that it is not smart or good. It is their opinion about your idea. You can listen to tips and help. But it is your decision. Use your logic to find out what you want.
Hope it helps.
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Sorry for 2x post. Miss-clicked quote instead of edit.
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I literally do this all the time. I even speak to myself sometimes when it is just me thinking about this stuff because I find it much easier to think aloud. I'll be honest, I don't see why it is ruining your life, there is nothing wrong with you. You need to go soul searching, pick some blogs you like, pick up some magazines, pick up a travel guide, and pick up some new education most of all. You can pick up an art if you have the time to do that too. Refine all of those, you will find yourself .
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I'm doing these scenarios in my head too, but never thought it was actually a bad thing or something that I should get rid of. Whenever I imagine a conversation with a person, it's someone I know really good and I can think of something they really would say. As for staying positive, I'm a rather defiant person and noticed that actually helps me motivate. Don't know if you can apply that to yourself. Otherwise these ppl have given you really solid advice.. Goodluck
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