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You know the usual Joe. A shy guy with trouble making friends, finding a girlfriend, being awkward around people, the list goes on. He doesn't like it that way. With a little help of sweet online anonymity he manages to open up and talk freely with people.
Finally, he finds an online community that shares his interests. Blasting his keyboard, Joe manages to get some recognition and acceptance, even if it's restricted to a small, obscure internet place. But whatever, most importantly, it gives some relief. We can go further and complete the fairy tale, online experience helps him in real life and Joe starts to get comfortable with himself .
Thing is, I'm not Joe, he's just a very stereotypical character that describes how we feel about positive aspects of Internet socialising.
What puzzles me is that I find my situation almost reverse. In real life I like being around people, parties in general, meeting new friends, long conversations. Often I'm loud, maybe too loud. I'd even say that I enjoy small talk(which I guess most people find boring and irrelevant).
On the other hand, online(as in various forum boards, private messages, IRC, social networks that I visit) it's much harder for me to communicate and express myself easily. I get more strict and inept. I write something, double check it and usually step back and delete it altogather. I had some friends that I had trouble chatting with via IM, even though we got along perfectly IRL, we even realised it and made fun of the situation. On forums I am more of a lurker than an active user. I guess even this post looks like some kind of stick up in the ass high school essay, even though I prefer a laid back style of expression.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about it, it isn't any kind of big discomfort in my life that I have to battle. I was mostly curious why it was that way and it made me think of one thing.
I am always more cautious with written word than spoken word. Much, much more, even paranoid. It's like I respect it too much. Once I tried to keep a journal, but it made me uneasy that someone could read it, even though I would be cool about telling people opinions or stories from it. So I stopped. Same goes with text messages, when it gets to giving information, anything above „let's meet at 7 pm”, I always prefer a call, even if there was no secret involved. It all transformed into my internet(still mainly written) interactions. I cut off unimportant stuff until there is nothing left. It isn't online enviroment changing my character, but form restricting me.
Do you people have any thoughts or experiences with that? I've heard that on the Internet you're never the only one.
  
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I always prefer email and text rather than calling people. I prefer to have things written down than spoken.Then again I have good reading comprehension relative to my listening comprehension and am a visual learner.
I'm guessing your brain is a better aural learner? Do you remember lyrics and tunes well?
TLDR: People's brains are wired differently.
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I like writing on the Internet rather than talking because it gives you all the time you need to think about what you're going to say and the best way to word your statement.
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On January 21 2013 12:53 Toasterbaked wrote:
I like writing on the Internet rather than talking because it gives you all the time you need to think about what you're going to say and the best way to word your statement.
In more negative terms, it allows you to interact with people only when you want and exactly no more than what you want. At least I know that is case for me since I am very awkward when chatting.
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On January 21 2013 12:49 ThunderGod wrote:
I always prefer email and text rather than calling people. I prefer to have things written down than spoken.Then again I have good reading comprehension relative to my listening comprehension and am a visual learner.
I'm guessing your brain is a better aural learner? Do you remember lyrics and tunes well?
TLDR: People's brains are wired differently.
Yeah, I remember lyrics and tunes quite well, but it gets tricky, because in education I much rather read than listen to a lecture. But with literature, recently I listened for a full audiobook for the first time and it was very enjoyable, I would prefer it that way if it didn't take so much time compared to reading.
On January 21 2013 12:53 Toasterbaked wrote:
I like writing on the Internet rather than talking because it gives you all the time you need to think about what you're going to say and the best way to word your statement.
But I guess I cut off the spontanous elements of the message too much and made my statements too strict and dry, making it look as I didn't want to talk at all.
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You know, it is kind of weird for me. I am introverted in real life (which I don't mind, because I have some awesome friends). But, I am kind of "introverted" online as well. I actually prefer lurking, reading posts and opinions, and coming to my own conclusion without writing a post of my own. I joined TL in August of 2011, and I still only have about 40 posts.
But really, Eerienewb, your "dillemma" really isn't that bad. You simply like to talk to people IRL, and you are kind of a perfectionist when it comes to writing. Caring about your written work is a good trait to have. Also, it is better to be a lurker who speaks rarely than a talkative poster that simply complains and annoys everyone around him (and probably getting banned in the process).
At the very least, I bet you don't have any warnings or bans on your account  . That has to be a positive!
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You don't sound like you are online introverted, what you have is perfectly normal, and a lot of people share the same thing.
Anonymity on the internet does make people feel more free to express themselves; it actually has the opposite effect. What anonymity does is make people feel more free to criticize others. When you express your thoughts online, and other people criticize your ideas, correct your spelling and grammar, call you a retard, or worse, do you feel okay because you are anonymous, or do you feel kinda bad? Regardless of if you are anonymous on the internet or are in real life, you don't enjoy others talking down on you. However, on the internet, people usually are comfortable with railing on other people. Everywhere on the internet you see people insulting each other. As a result, expressing yourself on the internet is actually a lot more uncomfortable. We are always in fear of others criticizing our ideas in very demeaning ways, we are afraid of thumbs downs, getting warned from TL mods, etc. Worst part is that anything written on the internet, IM, or text messaging is recorded forever, while spoken word is forgotten within minutes.
So yeah, I have a bit of a hesitation writing online or in text messages as well. I know of a lot of people who proof read all their posts before they hit the post button, so this is quite a common issue.
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The fact of the matter is that introverted people don't like to talk is a myth. I'm introverted myself, but get me to talk about something I really like and I won't stop about it. If you're on the internet you often go to places where topics are discussed you like and therefore you seem more open.
And ofcourse it may have something to do with the internet in general.
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Katowice25012 Posts
You're perfectly adjusted. I've never used texts for anything other than setting up meeting face to face and it's gone well for me.
On January 21 2013 12:13 EerieNewb wrote:
What puzzles me is that I find my situation almost reverse. In real life I like being around people, parties in general, meeting new friends, long conversations. Often I'm loud, maybe too loud. I'd even say that I enjoy small talk(which I guess most people find boring and irrelevant).
Don't mistake this for being most people when it's largely dudes on the internet who want to show how deep and thoughtful they are by whining about the "empty lives of the consumer driven sheeple around them".
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EPT
