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On November 14 2012 08:15 Coagulation wrote:
get a gun. or a taser if you feel better not painting the walls with his guts.
UK, unfortunately, also, still minors.
To everyone else, I really appreciate the advice. To the people asking about the unwillingness to go to the police, there are a few things:
1. She has a huge fear of this guy, she feels he can do nearly anything. She thinks if she goes to the police, he will find out, and punish her for it.
2. She doesn't want to take the risk that they do nothing about it.
3. She doesn't want to put me in harms way.
Obviously, if it came down to it, I would pretty much force her to go to them, but they are the reasons for the reluctance.
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Also, the idea that I could get friends isn't practical. I'm a middle class white guy, with middle class friends. They are thugs from working class backgrounds, who are very used to trading in, and up to small firearms. I would never risk fighting them.
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got a baseball bat? tire iron? just make sure you have a weapon to defend her if the situation arises. and calling the police is a pretty good idea to at least make a note of it for future reference if something does happen
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On November 14 2012 08:22 Coagulation wrote:
got a baseball bat? tire iron? just make sure you have a weapon to defend her if the situation arises. and calling the police is a pretty good idea to at least make a note of it for future reference if something does happen
See above.
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Really sorry about that. I don't usually read usernames in the replies. Most conversations can be tracked through the quote system.
Once again, really sorry.
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to the people saying "why don't you fight them?" guy #1 had no problem raping someone at knife point and breaking all of her fingers. Do people really do weapon battle like that?
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On November 14 2012 08:23 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:Show nested quote +On November 14 2012 08:16 AngryMag wrote:On November 14 2012 08:14 Zealos wrote:
I would also add the fact that she is not too keen to go to the police. It would take some convincing. He also never texts or emails, only calls. Would we be able to get evidence from past phonecalls? Who cares? Grab your balls and try to do the right thing.. What the fucking hell does grabbing your balls have to do with anything here? He hasn't said one thing that makes him look like a chicken, and he's trying to figure out a way to come out of this with both him and his girlfriend in one piece. Also, "do the right thing"? What the fuck does that even mean? Man up and get tortured to death by a psychopath and his best bud, both twice his size, right in front of his girlfriend? Seriously, fuck off until you have helpful, constructive advice. This is serious shit.
To be fair to him, he did offer useful advise prior to that, though I appreciate the comments in my defense.
Also, for reference, he won't be coming for at least a month or so, so I'm not suddenly in a massive rush to defend her, I just need advise in case he does chose to visit.
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They can track past phone calls Zealos. If she is unsure about going to the police, have you tried explaining to her about the whole protection thing? If it doesn't work, then you may well have to take the initiative and go to the police yourself. Oh and, it doesn't hurt to have something heavy laying about nearby just in case.
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On November 14 2012 08:23 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:Show nested quote +On November 14 2012 08:16 AngryMag wrote:On November 14 2012 08:14 Zealos wrote:
I would also add the fact that she is not too keen to go to the police. It would take some convincing. He also never texts or emails, only calls. Would we be able to get evidence from past phonecalls? Who cares? Grab your balls and try to do the right thing.. What the fucking hell does grabbing your balls have to do with anything here? He hasn't said one thing that makes him look like a chicken, and he's trying to figure out a way to come out of this with both him and his girlfriend in one piece. Also, "do the right thing"? What the fuck does that even mean? Man up and get tortured to death by a psychopath and his best bud, both twice his size, right in front of his girlfriend? Seriously, fuck off until you have helpful, constructive advice. This is serious shit.
Ok bluntly. I actually offered the best tips given in this thread, just read the post above the one, which caused you to whine. "Do the right thing" actually means go to or call the police. I am also aware that his girlfriend doesn't want that. So it's up to him to actually fucking do so instead of picking reasons why he can't do something.
If you actually would have invested ten seconds to read his quote you would hopefully be able to understand that. I am in total agreement that these are serious matters. That serious reasons force him to take actions, I offered some realistic possibilities while you came here to whine. There are surely various other possibilities, but it is a start.Grabbing your balls means to start doing something instead of looking for reasons to do nothing and feeling helpless.
Your post didn't help him one jota to solve his problem,
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Keep it civil guys. AngryMag, I understand where you are coming from, but often things aren't as simple as that. I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe, so obviously police is something I am going to go with, but there's no reason to respond aggressiveness as soon as I offer a reason as to why it may not be the perfect response.
EDIT: I am also getting her to install a phone call recorder on her phone should he call again. I figure it could be a simple way of getting some evidence to show police.
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On November 14 2012 08:34 AngryMag wrote:Show nested quote +On November 14 2012 08:23 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:On November 14 2012 08:16 AngryMag wrote:On November 14 2012 08:14 Zealos wrote:
I would also add the fact that she is not too keen to go to the police. It would take some convincing. He also never texts or emails, only calls. Would we be able to get evidence from past phonecalls? Who cares? Grab your balls and try to do the right thing.. What the fucking hell does grabbing your balls have to do with anything here? He hasn't said one thing that makes him look like a chicken, and he's trying to figure out a way to come out of this with both him and his girlfriend in one piece. Also, "do the right thing"? What the fuck does that even mean? Man up and get tortured to death by a psychopath and his best bud, both twice his size, right in front of his girlfriend? Seriously, fuck off until you have helpful, constructive advice. This is serious shit. Ok bluntly. I actually offered the best tips given in this thread, just read the post above the one, which caused you to whine. "Do the right thing" actually means go to or call the police. I am also aware that his girlfriend doesn't want that. So it's up to him to actually fucking do so instead of picking reasons why he can't do something. If you actually would have invested ten seconds to read his quote you would hopefully be able to understand that. I am in total agreement that these are serious matters. That serious reasons force him to take actions, I offered some realistic possibilities while you came here to whine. There are surely various other possibilities, but it is a start.Grabbing your balls means to start doing something instead of looking for reasons to do nothing and feeling helpless. Your post didn't help him one jota to solve his problem,
OH yeah like it's a competition when someone's sanity or life is on the line. It's not a competition. we want to help people here in TL blogs
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Zealos read my post a few above, no need for all this phone recorder stuff, the police can track the phone call. Just go to the police, I cannot reiterate it enough. Hell, you could even go to your/her parents, if you really want to.
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On November 14 2012 08:40 kollin wrote:
Zealos read my post a few above, no need for all this phone recorder stuff, the police can track the phone call. Just go to the police, I cannot reiterate it enough. Hell, you could even go to your/her parents, if you really want to.
Not so much track, more the whole will they be able to get a recording?
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On November 14 2012 08:41 Zealos wrote:Show nested quote +On November 14 2012 08:40 kollin wrote:
Zealos read my post a few above, no need for all this phone recorder stuff, the police can track the phone call. Just go to the police, I cannot reiterate it enough. Hell, you could even go to your/her parents, if you really want to. Not so much track, more the whole will they be able to get a recording?
I can't be 100% certain, but I am quite sure they can. They just ask your girlfriends phone provider I believe.
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On November 14 2012 08:37 Zealos wrote:
Keep it civil guys. AngryMag, I understand where you are coming from, but often things aren't as simple as that. I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe, so obviously police is something I am going to go with, but there's no reason to respond aggressiveness as soon as I offer a reason as to why it may not be the perfect response.
EDIT: I am also getting her to install a phone call recorder on her phone should he call again. I figure it could be a simple way of getting some evidence to show police.
It is really not meant aggressive, just blunt because serious matters don't allow sugarcoating stuff. Especially because you have no clue what to do.
. You are a young middle class one who gets confronted with possible physical harm for the first time in his live. Atleast I would strongly guess so and I would also guess that you need a push to get stuff regarding this matter started
. You feel helpless and the measures you took go into the wrong direction. If the cops don't care now(which you don't know, because you didn't inform yourself even against the will of your gf, but you have to because it's the right thing to do), they won't care even if you record some threats made on the phone (this happens hundreds of times daily in the whole country). So this will achieve exactly nothing.
You already said that fighting the dude is no option(should only be the last resort either way), so again, you fucking have to look for alternatives. Police, battered women's shelters, lawyers, parents whatever. But please don't waste your time with recording stuff, which won't force immidiate action by the authorities.
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On November 14 2012 08:19 Zealos wrote:Show nested quote +On November 14 2012 08:15 Coagulation wrote:
get a gun. or a taser if you feel better not painting the walls with his guts. 1. She has a huge fear of this guy, she feels he can do nearly anything. She thinks if she goes to the police, he will find out, and punish her for it.
That's exactly why she needs to go to the proper authorities. They can give him and his friend a warning at the least.
How does he get away with breaking fingers and not get caught exactly? There has to be more that she/you aren't telling...
On November 14 2012 08:52 AngryMag wrote:Show nested quote +On November 14 2012 08:37 Zealos wrote:
Keep it civil guys. AngryMag, I understand where you are coming from, but often things aren't as simple as that. I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe, so obviously police is something I am going to go with, but there's no reason to respond aggressiveness as soon as I offer a reason as to why it may not be the perfect response.
EDIT: I am also getting her to install a phone call recorder on her phone should he call again. I figure it could be a simple way of getting some evidence to show police. It is really not meant aggressive, just blunt because serious matters don't allow sugarcoating stuff. Especially because you have no clue what to do. . You are a young middle class one who gets confronted with possible physical harm for the first time in his live. Atleast I would strongly guess so and I would also guess that you need a push to get stuff regarding this matter started . You feel helpless and the measures you took go into the wrong direction. If the cops don't care now(which you don't know, because you didn't inform yourself even against the will of your gf, but you have to because it's the right thing to do), they won't care even if you record some threats made on the phone (this happens hundreds of times daily in the whole country). So this will achieve exactly nothing. You already said that fighting the dude is no option(should only be the last resort either way), so again, you fucking have to look for alternatives. Police, battered women's shelters, lawyers, parents whatever. But please don't waste your time with recording stuff, which won't force immidiate action by the authorities.
Record stuff if it happens AFTER you contact the authorities, save any proof you can get.
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On November 14 2012 08:54 Cyber_Cheese wrote:Show nested quote +On November 14 2012 08:19 Zealos wrote:On November 14 2012 08:15 Coagulation wrote:
get a gun. or a taser if you feel better not painting the walls with his guts. 1. She has a huge fear of this guy, she feels he can do nearly anything. She thinks if she goes to the police, he will find out, and punish her for it. That's exactly why she needs to go to the proper authorities. They can give him and his friend a warning at the least. How does he get away with breaking fingers and not get caught exactly? There has to be more that she/you aren't telling...
Why? People are afraid of violence, many get away with stuff like that, because the victims are afraid of them and feel threatened and don't go to the police. And breaking some fingers will not exactly bring you into jail, you get a slap on the wrist for something like that.
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On November 14 2012 08:34 AngryMag wrote:Show nested quote +On November 14 2012 08:23 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:On November 14 2012 08:16 AngryMag wrote:On November 14 2012 08:14 Zealos wrote:
I would also add the fact that she is not too keen to go to the police. It would take some convincing. He also never texts or emails, only calls. Would we be able to get evidence from past phonecalls? Who cares? Grab your balls and try to do the right thing.. What the fucking hell does grabbing your balls have to do with anything here? He hasn't said one thing that makes him look like a chicken, and he's trying to figure out a way to come out of this with both him and his girlfriend in one piece. Also, "do the right thing"? What the fuck does that even mean? Man up and get tortured to death by a psychopath and his best bud, both twice his size, right in front of his girlfriend? Seriously, fuck off until you have helpful, constructive advice. This is serious shit. Ok bluntly. I actually offered the best tips given in this thread, just read the post above the one, which caused you to whine. "Do the right thing" actually means go to or call the police. I am also aware that his girlfriend doesn't want that. So it's up to him to actually fucking do so instead of picking reasons why he can't do something. If you actually would have invested ten seconds to read his quote you would hopefully be able to understand that. I am in total agreement that these are serious matters. That serious reasons force him to take actions, I offered some realistic possibilities while you came here to whine. There are surely various other possibilities, but it is a start.Grabbing your balls means to start doing something instead of looking for reasons to do nothing and feeling helpless. Your post didn't help him one jota to solve his problem,
I did read the quote, and misinterpreted what you were referring to when you said grab your balls. I thought you were referring to the whole thing about trying to get evidence against the ex, which would help a lot with the police.
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youre clearly in over your head.
a) call the police and explain this guy raped her in the past and is threatening to come back
b) dont meet up with the guy / avoid him / ignore his calls
c) be prepared incase the situation gets out of hand.
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On November 14 2012 08:58 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:Show nested quote +On November 14 2012 08:34 AngryMag wrote:On November 14 2012 08:23 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:On November 14 2012 08:16 AngryMag wrote:On November 14 2012 08:14 Zealos wrote:
I would also add the fact that she is not too keen to go to the police. It would take some convincing. He also never texts or emails, only calls. Would we be able to get evidence from past phonecalls? Who cares? Grab your balls and try to do the right thing.. What the fucking hell does grabbing your balls have to do with anything here? He hasn't said one thing that makes him look like a chicken, and he's trying to figure out a way to come out of this with both him and his girlfriend in one piece. Also, "do the right thing"? What the fuck does that even mean? Man up and get tortured to death by a psychopath and his best bud, both twice his size, right in front of his girlfriend? Seriously, fuck off until you have helpful, constructive advice. This is serious shit. Ok bluntly. I actually offered the best tips given in this thread, just read the post above the one, which caused you to whine. "Do the right thing" actually means go to or call the police. I am also aware that his girlfriend doesn't want that. So it's up to him to actually fucking do so instead of picking reasons why he can't do something. If you actually would have invested ten seconds to read his quote you would hopefully be able to understand that. I am in total agreement that these are serious matters. That serious reasons force him to take actions, I offered some realistic possibilities while you came here to whine. There are surely various other possibilities, but it is a start.Grabbing your balls means to start doing something instead of looking for reasons to do nothing and feeling helpless. Your post didn't help him one jota to solve his problem, I did read the quote, and misinterpreted what you were referring to when you said grab your balls. I thought you were referring to the whole thing about trying to get evidence against the ex, which would help a lot with the police.
Also sorry for the aggressive post, after reading it again, it is over the top. I just get riled up by the totally wrong advice many in this thread offer to a guy who could be in serious trouble in the not so distant future.
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EPT
