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[G] Getting a Large e-Penis

Blogs > Temerarious Trout
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Temerarious Trout
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
174 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-17 21:33:39
October 16 2012 10:57 GMT
#1
So you've seen people with massive post counts and you think to yourself, "Wow! How can I be like that guy! What can I post to make him like me? Jeez! I wish he'd quote my post!" I'm here to help you achieve your dreams. If you follow my instructions, then maybe one day konadora/Torte de Lini/Probe1/ a Mod will notice you and reply you.

I know, you're probably creaming your pants right now as you think about all the "x000th Posts!" blogs you plan on making. But you have to check if you have the following before following through with this guide:

  • A Lack of Self-Respect
  • <999 Posts


If you have over thousand posts already, this guide isn't for you. Beginners only.




#1 - Sign-up for All the Fan-Clubs

"But but but! What about supporting my favourite players?"

Listen, nobody cares. If you don't support everybody, you're hurting ESPORTS, and Hot_Bid doesn't like that.


[image loading]
You really want to make this guy mad?


Here's something you can copy and paste to the fan clubs, just to make your life that much easier:


Wow! I love this person! Such an amazing contributor to the community and so wonderful for helping grow eSports. I wish this person nothing but the best! Sign me up~



Click here to go to the Fan Club Sub-forum



#2 - Post In All Guide Threads

This one is pretty easy. Go to all the threads that are tagged '[G]' and tell the OP how much you appreciate their efforts and whatnot.

Again, here's something you can copy and paste:


Thanks for this! I really appreciate your efforts! Thanks for taking the time to contribute to the community!



Don't worry too much about any amount of self-respect you have left at this step. Many people say the same things albeit in varying manners.




[image loading]

[image loading]

[image loading]


[image loading]

Remember this too while you're at it - If you spell 'definitely' with an 'A', you are definitely an A-hole.





Disclaimer:
If you are the poster of the examples given above and would like me to remove the image with your name on it, PM me.


Click here for all the guide threads in the SC2 Strategy Forum



#3 - TV Series Threads

I'm sure you get the general idea by now.


I'm such a huge fan of this series!



or alternatively, for Glee and such:


I don't understand how anybody can like this show. To each their own I guess.



Click here for TV Series threads



#4 - Suck up to Featured Bloggers

Not that they're not any good, but the circlejerk is always overwhelming and it usually detracts the actual value of the blog. And now you can join the circlejerk!


Great write-up!




Thanks for these wonderful words.




You write so well! More please!




5/5 amazing!




omg 5/5 if i cud i wud gif u more than 5/5 lol id give u 10/5 lol guys hes so amazing amiright?



Click here for a list of all Featured Bloggers

#5 - Announcement Threads

We've all seen our fair share of announcement threads. All you have to do is sift them through the list of newly created threads and post a couple of replies like:


So pumped for this! Woo!




Wow can't wait for this! This is amazing!




Wat! Omg this is great news!!!




SIIICCCCCCCCCCKK!



For teams announcing new pick-ups:


SICK PICK UP! (Insert team name here) FIGHTING!!!






If you follow the above steps, then you should be on your way to realizing how much post count really matters to a reply from a Mod or somebody with a huge number of posts.

I wish you the best of luck!

****
Feel it first, think about it later
Bippzy
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States1466 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-16 11:05:17
October 16 2012 11:04 GMT
#2
omg 5/5 if i cud i wud gif u more than 5/5 lol id give u 10/5 lol guys hes so amazing amiright?
+ Show Spoiler +
Hahahahhaah. This might as well be a guide to being allowed on the dota 2 key waiting list.

But nice parody. I feel kinda bad i do none of those things except hype during mlg and gsl
LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK LEENOCK
Temerarious Trout
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
174 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-16 11:06:02
October 16 2012 11:04 GMT
#3
On October 16 2012 20:04 Bippzy wrote:
omg 5/5 if i cud i wud gif u more than 5/5 lol id give u 10/5 lol guys hes so amazing amiright?
+ Show Spoiler +
Hahahahhaah. This might as well be a guide to being allowed on the dota 2 key waiting list.

But nice parody. I feel kinda bad i do none of those things except hype during mlg and gsl



Haha! Thanks!
Feel it first, think about it later
Smancer
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States379 Posts
October 16 2012 11:43 GMT
#4
Great write-up!
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."
Disposition1989
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Canada270 Posts
October 16 2012 11:58 GMT
#5
I'm a huge fan of this blog! So pumped for more!
4.95/5 would have LOVED to see you plug your twitter/stream but thanks for this anyways!
:D :D
keioh
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
France1099 Posts
October 16 2012 12:15 GMT
#6
Worth the read and the re-read. Also, 5/5 !
GIMME ALL THE BELGIAN WAFFLES I CAN GET FOR THIS MONEY !!!!!! BELGIAN WAFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFLEEEEEEEEES
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
October 16 2012 12:29 GMT
#7
Where's the LR spamming? Therein lies true greatness
Yhamm is the god of predictions
kubiks
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
France1328 Posts
October 16 2012 12:31 GMT
#8
4.95/5 because you messed up on the new pick-ups from teams.
The real post to do must contain
Sickest pick-up! Probably one of the most talented players out there


It's mandatory.
Juanald you're my hero I miss you -> best troll ever on TL <3
Lysteria
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
France2280 Posts
October 16 2012 12:36 GMT
#9
5/5 amazing!
+ Show Spoiler +
That was one hell of a blog here, nice idea by the way, but you should create another one for those <10.000 now. :p
y0su
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
Finland7871 Posts
October 16 2012 12:55 GMT
#10
On October 16 2012 21:29 Scarecrow wrote:
Where's the LR spamming? Therein lies true greatness

Amazing guide. I'll be using this quite a bit :D
Isualin
Profile Joined March 2011
Germany1903 Posts
October 16 2012 12:56 GMT
#11
On October 16 2012 21:29 Scarecrow wrote:
Where's the LR spamming? Therein lies true greatness

this. sc2 tourneys is "the" place for posting stuff fast
| INnoVation | The literal god TY | ByuNjwa | LRSL when? |
SagaZ
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
France3460 Posts
October 16 2012 13:01 GMT
#12
Thanks for this! I really appreciate your efforts! Thanks for taking the time to contribute to the community!
Be nice, buy wards and don't feed double buff.
Temerarious Trout
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
174 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-16 13:16:19
October 16 2012 13:15 GMT
#13
Oh you guys

On October 16 2012 21:36 Lysteria wrote:
5/5 amazing!
+ Show Spoiler +
That was one hell of a blog here, nice idea by the way, but you should create another one for those <10.000 now. :p


On October 16 2012 21:29 Scarecrow wrote:
Where's the LR spamming? Therein lies true greatness



Part 2 maybe?
Feel it first, think about it later
MisterKatosS
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
France352 Posts
October 16 2012 13:33 GMT
#14
hahahah clearly LR is missing.

Look at my stats this is how it's done,
I miss rekrul moderation
My web development company website : http://www.make-me-a-website.net My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/MrKatoss
bonifaceviii
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada2890 Posts
October 16 2012 13:36 GMT
#15
LR is correct, but Mafia is just as good for spamming (and makes you part of an exclusive club-within-a-club on TL)
Stay a while and listen || http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=354018
Incze
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Romania2058 Posts
October 16 2012 13:59 GMT
#16
You write so well! More please!
Religion: Buckethead
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32090 Posts
October 16 2012 14:00 GMT
#17
not enough about making fun of girl blogs
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
GohgamX
Profile Joined April 2011
Canada1096 Posts
October 16 2012 14:24 GMT
#18
Great writeup. Thanks for these wonderful words...
Time is a great teacher, unfortunate that it kills all its pupils ...
sunnata
Profile Joined February 2008
Russian Federation228 Posts
October 16 2012 14:34 GMT
#19
Thanks for this! I really appreciate your efforts! Thanks for taking the time to contribute to the community!
Only way to know the future is to make it.
MCDayC
Profile Joined March 2011
United Kingdom14464 Posts
October 16 2012 14:42 GMT
#20
Lack of Girl Blogs and LR spamming ruins this whole torrid affair unfortunately. Seriously, who needs content when you can just post constantly in SC2 LRs, I hate guys who do that.
VERY FRAGILE, LIKE A BABY PANDA EGG
ParkwayDrive
Profile Joined July 2011
United States328 Posts
October 16 2012 14:46 GMT
#21
brilliant. ive always wondered about this community. lack of self respect sums it up quite well
layabout
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United Kingdom2600 Posts
October 16 2012 15:02 GMT
#22
On October 16 2012 22:36 bonifaceviii wrote:
LR is correct, but Mafia is just as good for spamming (and makes you part of an exclusive club-within-a-club on TL)

What a load of nonsense
Be the Best You Can Be ! Play MAFIA II http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/mafia/ II Dragonsound Best Band
MadNeSs
Profile Joined March 2007
Denmark1507 Posts
October 16 2012 15:10 GMT
#23
This is a shitty guide, I definitely hate it!
meteorskunk
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada546 Posts
October 16 2012 15:15 GMT
#24
how much e-peen growth did the hot_bid picture yield ?
Girl Blog Credentials: Comfortable talking to some women. Tried the sex once
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
October 16 2012 15:21 GMT
#25
After reading this guide I realize I still have a lot of growing to do...
[TLMS] REBOOT
leftykill
Profile Joined October 2009
United States120 Posts
October 16 2012 15:54 GMT
#26
no wonder my post count in so low
Bojas
Profile Joined December 2010
Netherlands2397 Posts
October 16 2012 16:01 GMT
#27
I would say I DEFINATELY enjoyed reading this. I appreciate your effort. Great write-up 5/5
Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
October 16 2012 16:09 GMT
#28
I don't post in any of those topics except for announcement threads.
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
kollin
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United Kingdom8380 Posts
October 16 2012 16:15 GMT
#29
Wow great writeup, 5/5!
FractalsOnFire
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Australia1756 Posts
October 16 2012 16:35 GMT
#30
Thanks for this! I really appreciate your efforts! Thanks for taking the time to contribute to the community!

You write so well! More please!

This made me laugh 5/5
Flonomenalz
Profile Joined May 2011
Nigeria3519 Posts
October 16 2012 16:40 GMT
#31
On October 17 2012 01:09 Torte de Lini wrote:
I don't post in any of those topics except for announcement threads.

I don't think he cares, I think he just chose notable posters due to post count.

Isn't this blog just one giant attempt to do exactly what you are supposedly guiding newbies to do?
I love crazymoving
Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
October 16 2012 16:46 GMT
#32
On October 17 2012 01:40 Flonomenalz wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 17 2012 01:09 Torte de Lini wrote:
I don't post in any of those topics except for announcement threads.

I don't think he cares, I think he just chose notable posters due to post count.

Isn't this blog just one giant attempt to do exactly what you are supposedly guiding newbies to do?


Where am I guiding newbies?
and I get this is more of a joke post then anything of course~
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
Clarity_nl
Profile Joined November 2011
Netherlands6826 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-16 17:06:25
October 16 2012 17:03 GMT
#33
Am I not allowed to read a guide, think it worthwhile to try out, and post in the thread saying: "Thanks, looks interesting, will try this out"
Positive encouragement for contributors can't be all bad, can it?
Sometimes I have nothing to add other than "Thanks!"

For example, I find this blog funny, so I comment:
Nice blog, made me laugh!
FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT AGAINST STUPIDITY CLARITY, I BELIEVE IN YOU! - Palmar
Qbek
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
Poland12923 Posts
October 16 2012 17:15 GMT
#34
As a person with 0< substance in my post I approve of this guide.
Thanks for this! I really appreciate your efforts! Thanks for taking the time to contribute to the community!
This space left intentionally dank /)3(\ http://i.imgur.com/RmeEUcF.png
ymir233
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States8275 Posts
October 16 2012 17:29 GMT
#35
SIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCKKKKKK
Come motivate me to be cynical about animus at http://infinityandone.blogspot.com/ // Stork proxy gates are beautiful.
CYFAWS
Profile Joined October 2012
Sweden275 Posts
October 16 2012 18:40 GMT
#36
getting there!
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25555 Posts
October 16 2012 19:09 GMT
#37

Great write-up!
When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
Cool Cat
Profile Joined June 2009
United States1644 Posts
October 16 2012 19:14 GMT
#38
Quality blog.
Overpowered
Profile Joined January 2011
Czech Republic764 Posts
October 16 2012 19:18 GMT
#39
5/5 would read again!
Just another gold Protoss...
eviltomahawk
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States11135 Posts
October 16 2012 19:42 GMT
#40
This is like reading a mirror of myself o_0
ㅇㅅㅌㅅ
TheEmulator
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
28093 Posts
October 16 2012 19:46 GMT
#41
lol. This was pretty funny. GJ
Administrator
Temerarious Trout
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
174 Posts
October 16 2012 21:49 GMT
#42
For those saying that LR threads, Mafia, and so on, should be included, I'll do my best to work them into Part 2

On October 17 2012 00:15 meteorskunk wrote:
how much e-peen growth did the hot_bid picture yield ?


About an e-nch (say it aloud).

+ Show Spoiler +
"Eeee-nch"


On October 17 2012 01:46 Torte de Lini wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 17 2012 01:40 Flonomenalz wrote:
On October 17 2012 01:09 Torte de Lini wrote:
I don't post in any of those topics except for announcement threads.

I don't think he cares, I think he just chose notable posters due to post count.

Isn't this blog just one giant attempt to do exactly what you are supposedly guiding newbies to do?


Where am I guiding newbies?
and I get this is more of a joke post then anything of course~


Yup it's a joke~~


Thanks for the all the responses, so cheeky!
Feel it first, think about it later
GeneralStan
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
United States4789 Posts
October 16 2012 22:10 GMT
#43
What an interesting guide. I'll try this later on tonight on the ladder for sure
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Temerarious Trout
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
174 Posts
October 16 2012 22:14 GMT
#44
On October 17 2012 07:10 GeneralStan wrote:
What an interesting guide. I'll try this later on tonight on the ladder for sure

Post some reps later?
Feel it first, think about it later
]343[
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States10328 Posts
October 16 2012 22:21 GMT
#45
lol

+ Show Spoiler +
Unfortunately posting like flamewheel doesn't work if you don't have enough posts, because then you get banned...
Writer
Xenocide_Knight
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Korea (South)2625 Posts
October 16 2012 22:23 GMT
#46
Don't forget about all the subcommunities! It's a lot easier to get noticed there because there are less people to compete with and more people knowing your name = greater e-fame.
The LoL patch notes thread, the EVE group, the KMD, the ADT, etc.
Shine[Kal] #1 fan
sorrowptoss
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
Canada1431 Posts
October 16 2012 23:18 GMT
#47
Best
blog
ever.

^ Now I feel really shitty about posting a one liner, so I'll do funky stuff by entering after every word.
Wortie
Profile Joined September 2011
Netherlands212 Posts
October 16 2012 23:42 GMT
#48


Great write-up!




Thanks for these wonderful words.




You write so well! More please!




5/5 amazing!




omg 5/5 if i cud i wud gif u more than 5/5 lol id give u 10/5 lol guys hes so amazing amiright?
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