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Here is my last blog for an introduction on myself: http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=358791
Hi everyone,
I’m back here with a confession. I am a rager! Not your average rager, who is a little mean to someone after he lost a game of Starcraft II, but an “insult people in all-caps, with insults that nobody should ever use, EVER” kind of rager. I self-diagnosed myself with intermittent explosive disorder some time ago, because all facts that are mentioned in the Wikipedia article fit me perfectly.
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (abbreviated IED) is a behavioral disorder characterized by extreme expressions of anger, often to a point of violence, that are disproportionate to the situation at hand.
Now to some actual quotes of insults I used after losing a game.
This one is the most non-insulting of the insults I regularly use:
+ Show Spoiler +
STUPID RETARDED FAGGOT PIECE OF SHIT ASSWAD
Before I post the next one I need to elaborate a little on my character. I’ve never been the nicest guy you will meet, mostly attributed to the happenings in my childhood, which are described in my last blog. I am not, however, nor will I ever be intolerant. My best friend for about 4 years was black. The friendship kind of ended after I finished school, because as I also described in my last blog, I have no real-life and therefore no possibility to maintain that relationship. I still think, however, that except for my childhood best friend, he was the coolest guy I ever met.
+ Show Spoiler +
RETARDED [N-WORD] DIPSHIT FUCKING COCKSUCKING FAGGOT
We now have established that I’m the most uncreative person in the world and the biggest asshole, too. When I write those comments before leaving the game, I just can’t stop myself. I have the feeling that if I don’t do it, I lose my sanity. Which, considering the insults, I might have lost a long time ago. The worst thing about it is I don’t just flame people like this once in 50 games, I do it after almost every game I lose.
The last insult I’d like to post to you is the most insulting of them all. I cannot put into words how much I regret writing this, but at the time I was so aggravated, I needed something to top off all the other insults I had used before.
+ Show Spoiler +
FUCKING JEWFAGGOT I HOPE HITLER GETS RESURRECTED TO PUT YOUR RETARDED PIECE OF SHIT ASS INTO HIS GAS CHAMBER
After that, I went on to furiously punch the stone wall of my room until it was red and 3 of my fingers were broken. It was the worst “seizure” I ever had and it landed me at the GP. This way I also broke two of my keyboards, one headset, one mouse and my clock and I punched a hole in the door.
The question I’d like to pose to you now is: Am I just the biggest asshole that ever walked the earth or am I really suffering from the aforementioned disorder.
 
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Its a game. The last insult makes me pretty sad.
Why people around the world think all german are nazis?
Right, because of people like you.
Read your blog, its sad, but thats not an excuse.
" I’ve never been the nicest guy you will meet"
Its seems like this is the reason why you say such things
and your life is so sad. If someone says something like this about himself,
he wants to be either cool or suffers inconfidence.
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not really a solution but one way to stop raging at people in games is removing the ability to chat by going into hotkeys and deleting enter for chat :3
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What you need to do is throw a LOT of games stupidly. Like go reaper hellion banshee every game for like 20 in a row. This will make you used to losing a lot and it won't affect you as much. As long as you remember it was not your opponents fault you lost, so you should in no way try to insult him, you'll be fine.
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If you're German you might want to stay away from the Hitler stuff. ;p
If you have an actual condition it sucks for you and I'm not sure how you'd fix that. Change your mindset.
For example, instead of playing to win, play to improve. Don't care about your win rate at all. Play each game with the idea that you want to improve your play. If you lose, no matter, if you win, good on you. Don't try to win, try to play well. If you play well enough, you'll win anyway.
Furthermore, stay the fuck away from League of Legends.
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I perfectly understand raging and I understand why you type things like that. Anger is a coping mechanism.
Instead of typing, you should just get something that makes an audible breaking sound and just beat the crap out of that when you get mad. Buy like a crappy 20 dollar keyboard and smash it whenever you're upset, or a crappy mouse that you can throw against the wall. You'll feel better.
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On August 27 2012 19:07 Incognoto wrote:
For example, instead of playing to win, play to improve.
Worst advice ever, it will make you rage evenmore. Play it for fun, like you don't care. Don't play standard do whatever you want. (I suggest mostly 1-basing, cheese, allin and so on). And don't ever play when there are people around you, especially kids.
Also, when I think about IED, the infamous Sex Addiction comes to my mind. Its a lame excuse. Its like cheating your wife then saying OMG I have sex addiction please help me, I need to be cured...
Edit: have you tried doing pushups whenever you lose?
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thats sick. no matter how angry you are you should never say something like that
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I really don't think you should play a game which makes you so angry, specially if you have anger management issues. You're literally making your own life worse by playing a game which is supposed to entertain you.
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On August 27 2012 18:54 PiPaPoh wrote:
Its a game. The last insult makes me pretty sad.
Why people around the world think all german are nazis?
Right, because of people like you.
Read your blog, its sad, but thats not an excuse.
" I’ve never been the nicest guy you will meet"
Its seems like this is the reason why you say such things
and your life is so sad. If someone says something like this about himself,
he wants to be either cool or suffers inconfidence.
You might want to read my first blog, it might give you some insight into why I write stuff like that.
On August 27 2012 18:55 JonIrenicus wrote:
May I ask you why do you get angry? I mean the reasons. I never bmed in Starcraft 2. Never.
What do you feel? why do you get angry? Do you feel better after insulting?
I have thought about that a lot and in the end I came up with a simple answer. I get angry because of the stupid mistakes I make ingame almost every game and omit this anger towards my opponent.
On August 27 2012 19:07 Incognoto wrote:
If you're German you might want to stay away from the Hitler stuff. ;p
Ya think?
I'm fully aware of the implications. But it's not like i can control it.
On August 27 2012 19:39 Tobberoth wrote:
I really don't think you should play a game which makes you so angry, specially if you have anger management issues. You're literally making your own life worse by playing a game which is supposed to entertain you.
Unfortunately I have fun playing the game, too. I don’t hate the game, I hate myself for the stupid mistakes I make.
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You self diagnosed yourself with a mental condition which is the worst you can do. It's basically giving your subconsciousness a "get out of jail free" card to act in that way. You can't control it because you tell yourself you can't control it because "it's a mental condition". That gets you into a spiral that can lead to you getting that disorder...
Sorry, but you are "the biggest asshole that ever walked the earth".
Also, i recommend seeing a psychologist.
PS: I'm a hypocrite...
PPS: ... but thats ok.
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Calling it a disorder doesn't change anything. You could argue it's just a name to categorize people since we are all programmed by genetics (to a certain degree?).
A cannibal can't help he's a cannibal but he still eats people. Pedophiles, serial-killers, lunatics from all over the world who harm other people might have disorders but they still harm others.
edit: I just read that you wrote that you can't control it. You know that's a dangerous line to cross right? Not being able to control yourself anymore?
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Blazinghand
United States25554 Posts
It's hard to say-- self-diagnosis with a metal disease is basically impossible. If you're really worried about it, the best thing you can do is to see a mind-doctor person.
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On August 27 2012 19:56 Tauchsieder wrote:Show nested quote +On August 27 2012 18:54 PiPaPoh wrote:
Its a game. The last insult makes me pretty sad.
Why people around the world think all german are nazis?
Right, because of people like you.
Read your blog, its sad, but thats not an excuse.
" I’ve never been the nicest guy you will meet"
Its seems like this is the reason why you say such things
and your life is so sad. If someone says something like this about himself,
he wants to be either cool or suffers inconfidence.
You might want to read my first blog, it might give you some insight into why I write stuff like that.
Your childhood allows you to say this? + Show Spoiler +
FUCKING JEWFAGGOT I HOPE HITLER GETS RESURRECTED TO PUT YOUR RETARDED PIECE OF SHIT ASS INTO HIS GAS CHAMBER
Oh, great excuse man, great excuse.
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On August 27 2012 19:56 Tauchsieder wrote:Show nested quote +On August 27 2012 18:55 JonIrenicus wrote:
May I ask you why do you get angry? I mean the reasons. I never bmed in Starcraft 2. Never.
What do you feel? why do you get angry? Do you feel better after insulting? I have thought about that a lot and in the end I came up with a simple answer. I get angry because of the stupid mistakes I make ingame almost every game and omit this anger towards my opponent. ... Unfortunately I have fun playing the game, too. I don’t hate the game, I hate myself for the stupid mistakes I make.
I'd like to ask a follow-up question if you don't mind. Do you think that you somehow value your own life higher (subconsciously or not) if you perform well at the game? And if that is indeed the case, perhaps you might want to find something not as fluctuating as sc2 skill to base your self-image on...?
Personally I think that it is untrue and perhaps even unhealthy to define human value from what you do rather than from what you are. Every person has an intrinsic immeasurable value just by being alive imo.
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What? Yeah, being a racist asshole on the internet isn't a disease.
"I just can't stop myself." Of course you can. You're just telling yourself you can't to feel better about it afterwards, and then self-diagnosing it as a mental disorder to feel better about the idea of doing it more in the future. Take responsibility for your own actions. Your other blog does partially explain why you might behave like that, but that in no way excuses your behavior. So you were bullied as a kid and don't have any friends. That's a shame, but maybe you should reread the part you wrote in your other blog about growing up mentally.
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On August 27 2012 19:20 bokeevboke wrote:Show nested quote +On August 27 2012 19:07 Incognoto wrote:
For example, instead of playing to win, play to improve. Worst advice ever, it will make you rage evenmore. Play it for fun, like you don't care. Don't play standard do whatever you want. (I suggest mostly 1-basing, cheese, allin and so on). And don't ever play when there are people around you, especially kids.
I completely disagree. There's a difference between playing to win and playing to improve. For example, if you were allowed to play against any player from EG, for free, whenever you wanted would you take it? I'd wager that yes. You can pick up tips and playing against someone much better than you is always good for learning. Will you win? Fuck no. But you'll learn a fuck load.
Basically what I'm advising our friend to do is to play his best in game. Fend off cheese, play macro, do whatever and when the game is over, try to have a friendly chat with your opponent to see if you can't pick up anything worthwhile. Some tidbit. As long as you don't care about winning and strive to improve your own play, then you'll start getting genuinely better and you won't rage when you lose because you simply don't care. A loss is worth the experience you gain.
If you can achieve that mindset (it's not intuitive, not caring about losing..), then you're set to stop raging and start playing.
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Chill winstonnn.
Seriously abusing people in a game isn't that different from doing it in real life. Whether you abuse people after losing competition to them or for no reason either way it's coming from negativity somewhere in your life. Try to address that negativity and it should help you. At the very least put some basic positive focus on yourself. Eat healthy food and do a bit of exercise or go get a massage.
Best of luck not abusing people in future
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Dude... No matter how upset you are, you should NEVER say something like that.
Take a break for a few days , try breaking the stress... You sound you're under too much pressure. Just take a break and relax.
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Ever heard the term "self-fulfilling prophecy"?
Go see a psychologist, you already think you can't help yourself, so you need to learn anger management, when losing in something as trivial as a video game makes you rage that hard. Being able to stay calm is important for most aspects of your life.
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thats quite a disease you got there... should go to the doctors..
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Yeah, do get therapy. Diseases aren't only about breaking a limb or an internal organ not working. What you describe can be a disease too and if so, then a doctor could help you.
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You are a bad person but you made a great blog. \
5/5
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he's not a "bad person" , there are no "bad persons"
all this guy needs is more self control and maybe some anger management therapy.
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First of all I'd like to say that I very much believe I’m not the only one who rages the way I do. There might even be people, who say things at a level of my last insult. The question is now: Would you be less outraged if I wasn’t German? I know as much about the happenings of the Second World War as most of you, not more, not less, because we live in fucking 2012 for gods’ sake. I did not make the last insult because I’m a NAZI, I did it because I knew it was the most insulting thing I could come up with. There were no ulterior motives behind it. Period.
Second. I play Guild Wars 2 now, everything is fine…
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just because you're not a nazi doesnt make it less stupid to say
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I understand what it's like to do terrible things when you rage. I never said that sort of thing to my opponent. But I have broken equipment in a similar fashion, It's not a choice at a certain point, I would never choose to break my 200 dollar headphones. But sometimes the action happens before thought.
The solution is to make sure you quit before you get to that point. I assume it doesn't happen out of the blue. You can see it coming. It's up to you to stop playing when you are in such a bad mood. I believe you can control yourself on the greater scale.
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I will never ever argue against it having been stupid. It was insanely stupid, retardedly stupid, but it happened and I can’t change it. I can only try to change myself, to not make such a mistake again.
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You don't have a disease and you don't need a doctor to prescribe you some drug (though a therapist may help). YOu are being a bit of a hypochondriac, I think.
Just be nice to people. Have the will to be nice and exercise self control. You are in control of your actions. Saying you can't control yourself is a cop out, and excuse for being a weak person.
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On August 27 2012 18:35 Tauchsieder wrote:
The question I’d like to pose to you now is: Am I just the biggest asshole that ever walked the earth or am I really suffering from the aforementioned disorder.
A little of both. Please see a doctor, before your rage gets some person hurt.
Make sure to hit the wall before, so you don't kill anyone on your way to the doctor's.
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When DRTsorak and DRTfootman 1v1 each other, if footman loses (which only happens maybe 5% of the time) he usually gets so angry that he immediately leaves the game without any notice, quits right out of Starcraft II, shuts his computer down, and sometimes throws something across the room. That's funny. Hurling mindless abuse at strangers... well you could focus that rage into something a little less destructive.
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I think I would find myself in tears of laughter after receiving one of those insults.
But maybe you should try to channel your rage towards something positive? Some pushups or situps? Maybe go for a run? Maybe invest in a punching bag? Surely there's something that can help you out.
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EPT
