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[Girl Blog] Toilet seats

Blogs > hoot00
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hoot00
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States77 Posts
August 06 2012 05:42 GMT
#1
Because of the drought of [Girl Blog] tags, I thought I'd share a thought.

I don't like toilets seats. Every single person who sits on a toilet seat leaves behind whatever their ass happened to touch that day, which 99% of the time includes some form of poop. Soon, the seat becomes a swirling mass of ass germs that I, quite frankly, don't want my butt to touch. Sometimes even a thick layer of toilet paper isn't enough to get my cheeks on a seat. So, until recently, I squatted over every single one.

Just recently I became very sick and couldn't hold myself steady over the seat. I had to sit on the nasty pool of ass germs, or I ran the risk of completely missing the toilet. I sat down for the first time expecting all of hell to break lose, but it actually felt good. Being able to rest for the while taking care of business is something that I have never experienced (and something many take for granted). Of course, I lysoled the shit out of it (pun intended) before sitting, but I swear I felt the tingle of millions of ass germs giving me a single celled hug.

So what does this have to do with girls? Well recently I read a comment about some girls being nasty that reminded me of toilet seats. Guys, some girls are shallow and promiscuous. These girls are like the nasty toilet seats. Don't do what I did and spend a fifth of your life squatting over the seat. You gotta plant yourself on it, and do so with pride. You never know, you may never squat again.

***
LEGENDS NEVER GG
ampson
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States2355 Posts
August 06 2012 05:47 GMT
#2
Dude....... I am kinda speechless after reading this...
Shock710
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Australia6097 Posts
August 06 2012 05:47 GMT
#3
aw...expecting a full girl blog, whats wrong with toliet paper covering the whole thing? u could go two layers if ur really afraid of ass germs
dAPhREAk gives Shock a * | [23:55] <Shock710> that was out of context -_- [16:26] <@motbob> Good question, Shock!
JerKy
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Korea (South)3013 Posts
August 06 2012 05:54 GMT
#4
Wait. I dont get the ending
If promiscuous/shallow girls are like nasty toilet seats... are you telling us to take opportunities with these women? o.O
And be proud of it? :o

You can type "StarCraft" with just your left hand.
Release
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States4397 Posts
August 06 2012 05:57 GMT
#5
I think he's saying, if you can get laid with a slut, hit it and hope you don't get AIDS.
I'd rather not get AIDS.
☺
The_LiNk
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada863 Posts
August 06 2012 06:03 GMT
#6
You need to l2squatpoop. Gotta get up on that seat and squat poop. It's a good skill to have and it'll serve you well when you got to a China or a country even more ghetto than that.
Probulous
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Australia3894 Posts
August 06 2012 06:10 GMT
#7
The funny thing is that the door handle probably has more germs than the toilet seat due to disinfected water splashing around. Plus other people also wipe the seat with tissue removing germs but no-one bothers about the door handle. Sometimes people just need to realise that shit happens and when it does, you deal with it.
"Dude has some really interesting midgame switches that I wouldn't have expected. "I violated your house" into "HIHO THE DAIRY OH!" really threw me. You don't usually expect children's poetry harass as a follow up " - AmericanUmlaut
FraCuS
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States1072 Posts
August 06 2012 06:14 GMT
#8
I hover and let it all out like a champ
Apink/Girl's Day/miss A/IU/Crayon Pop/Sistar/Exo K :D l Kpop and Kdrama Enthusiast
endy
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Switzerland8970 Posts
August 06 2012 06:18 GMT
#9
If there was only squats toilets I'm pretty sure you would complain too.
The issue is inherent to public toilets, which is why I never use them.
ॐ
Antimatterz
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States1010 Posts
August 06 2012 06:20 GMT
#10
HAHAHAHA One of the best girl blogs ever, so unique.

5/5
"HotBid [11:45 AM]: i dunno i kinda like the big muta shooting smaller mutas out"
Mothra
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States1448 Posts
August 06 2012 06:46 GMT
#11
LOL wise words, wise words.
FractalsOnFire
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Australia1756 Posts
August 06 2012 07:15 GMT
#12
On August 06 2012 14:54 JerKy wrote:
Wait. I dont get the ending
If promiscuous/shallow girls are like nasty toilet seats... are you telling us to take opportunities with these women? o.O
And be proud of it? :o



He's saying you should put yourself out there with women, yeah there's the crap and shit you have to deal with some women, but eventually you'll find comfort and relief in one or many women.
Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
August 06 2012 07:33 GMT
#13
This is exactly why I wear my pants backwards. When I need to take a poop, I just open my zipper and poop with my pants on. No need to worry about touching the seat.
Ryhzuo
Profile Joined November 2011
New Zealand198 Posts
August 06 2012 08:01 GMT
#14
Asia, proud pioneers of the squat toilet. And my friends thought I was crazy.
askTeivospy
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
1525 Posts
August 06 2012 08:30 GMT
#15
amazing hahahaha
hihihi
nihoh
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Australia978 Posts
August 06 2012 08:44 GMT
#16
Why would u care about the toilet seat? You can't get a UTI from sitting on a toilet with skin contact. You can't get STDs from sitting ou a toilet seat. And you can't get a skin infection from sitting on a toilet seat unless you are seriously immunocompromised.
Dont look at the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory.
DYEAlabaster
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
Canada1009 Posts
August 06 2012 09:19 GMT
#17
On August 06 2012 16:33 Chairman Ray wrote:
This is exactly why I wear my pants backwards. When I need to take a poop, I just open my zipper and poop with my pants on. No need to worry about touching the seat.


Me, I just wear pyjamas with a bum-flap everywhere I go. Except it's a narrow bum-flap, so my ass-cheeks don't touch the rims. It's comfortable AND I don't have to wear shoes.
writer22816
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States5775 Posts
August 06 2012 09:32 GMT
#18
lmao blogs like these and the Dota 2 forums are why I still read TL.
8/4/12 never forget, never forgive.
Loanshark
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
China3094 Posts
August 06 2012 09:36 GMT
#19
Fuck squatters. What if you miss and shit all over the seat? Like what the fuck, man? How am I supposed to plant myself on the seat with pride when there's a big pile of shit there?
No dough, no go. And no mercy.
slam
Profile Joined May 2010
United States923 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-08-06 09:40:25
August 06 2012 09:37 GMT
#20
I command you to explain.

How this:
These girls are like the nasty toilet seats.

And this:
"You gotta plant yourself on it, and do so with pride."

Go together.

EDIT:
Also, this makes me curious.
Don't do what I did and spend a fifth of your life squatting over the seat.

So exactly how old are you and how can you determine that you have completed "a fifth of your life"?
I get it.
DisaFear
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Australia4074 Posts
August 06 2012 10:24 GMT
#21
What a touching story Just play it safe!
How devious | http://anartisticanswer.blogspot.com.au/
Yanami
Profile Joined July 2011
Germany49 Posts
August 06 2012 11:04 GMT
#22
I'm gonna pick up the toilet seat topic because.. Well, I envy guys. They can stand there while taking a piss and aim, more or less. >:/ Wish I could do that!
Erasme
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Bahamas15899 Posts
August 06 2012 11:05 GMT
#23
On August 06 2012 16:15 FractalsOnFire wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 06 2012 14:54 JerKy wrote:
Wait. I dont get the ending
If promiscuous/shallow girls are like nasty toilet seats... are you telling us to take opportunities with these women? o.O
And be proud of it? :o



He's saying you should put yourself out there with women, yeah there's the crap and shit you have to deal with some women, but eventually you'll find comfort and relief in one or many women.

that's actually very deep ahahahah
I can only poop in my own house.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7lxwFEB6FI “‘Drain the swamp’? Stupid saying, means nothing, but you guys loved it so I kept saying it.”
Pokebunny
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States10654 Posts
August 06 2012 12:25 GMT
#24
On August 06 2012 16:33 Chairman Ray wrote:
This is exactly why I wear my pants backwards. When I need to take a poop, I just open my zipper and poop with my pants on. No need to worry about touching the seat.

... lol WTF
Semipro Terran player | Pokebunny#1710 | twitter.com/Pokebunny | twitch.tv/Pokebunny | facebook.com/PokebunnySC
obesechicken13
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States10467 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-08-06 12:52:52
August 06 2012 12:52 GMT
#25
On a more serious note, back when China had a more strict policy, people from different zones had to stay in their zones, so when my parents met each other in college I think they married for convenience. My mom is dumb as a brick and I know this reflects on me poorly. My parents sleep in separate beds but get along fine as far as Asian parents do.

I think if you just go with every girl you can get then you'll settle for an unhappy relationship.

And for the record I like quiet places where I can poop undisturbed. 7th floor individual bathrooms. I also like to put paper over the seats.
I think in our modern age technology has evolved to become more addictive. The things that don't give us pleasure aren't used as much. Work was never meant to be fun, but doing it makes us happier in the long run.
Roe
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada6002 Posts
August 06 2012 13:38 GMT
#26
I don't understand how guys can act macho and then be outraged and disgusted by "nasty" toilets. Have you seen the men's washroom at just about any venue? Either use them or don't use em. Just don't cry "aww duude that's dis-GUSTing..." like some middle school juvenile.
(The Doctor)
Profile Joined August 2011
Canada40 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-08-06 15:56:39
August 06 2012 15:55 GMT
#27
I agree with you, Erasme. There's a reason why it's called "The Home Throne"...

EDIT: Fixed my inability to quote properly.
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
August 06 2012 16:04 GMT
#28
meh it's not like you eat off your own ass, it's well equipped to handle the germs. At most I'll wipe the seat with toilet paper at a bad public one. You should be more worried about restroom doors and taps imo.
Yhamm is the god of predictions
Leth0
Profile Joined February 2012
856 Posts
August 06 2012 16:26 GMT
#29
Not all slutty girls are dirty girls.
blankspace
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States292 Posts
August 06 2012 17:59 GMT
#30
LOL best girl blog in a while
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