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I've come along way since part 1. I've learned that I'm the sum of my actions and thoughts, and controlling those controls me.
I've learned about proper nutrition and exercise; I'm now in the best shape of my life. I've learned what it really means to work hard at something; I now have a job, a reputation, and almost perfect grades. I've learned what it really takes to say 'No' to yourself every day; I haven't broken my routine in three weeks.
So much has been broken down and rebuilt, barely anything remains of what I once was.
Today I feel victorious over myself.
Yet something else remains. Despite all of this I am deeply unsatisfied. I feel restless and hopeless at the same time. I thought happiness would be a product of my change. Why am I unhappy?
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Wow, I remember reading that blog forever ago. Congrats man, it takes a lot of hard work and changing habits to become what you want to be.
As far as feeling unhappy, just be patient with yourself. Keep your motivation, and keep a positive eye on your progress. It shows strength, that you've advanced. In my experience, the more progress you make, the easier it is to be happy.
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Happiness is seldom found by this type of change, because it's not what most people require to be happy. I would advise you to view this change as completely positive and good, and keep at it, but also as a vehicle to reaching something greater. Find a goal in life, and also learn to rejoice with small things, a nice family conversation, a coffee date with a girl, a drink with some friends, a nice day outside, an awesome book, exciting sports or passions, etc. These things might make you feel more fulfilled. All this change can certainly help you go on the right track and find what's missing, so it's awesome, congratulations on a big and extremely difficult to make change.
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You can't expect anonymous people who don't know you to know why you aren't happy.
You know better than anyone else in the world why you are or are not happy! If you really don't know why (unlikely), take a moment to sit down and meditate on the subject. Just you alone with your thoughts.
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Achieving goals can give you satisfaction. Being one with the moment and realizing that nothing of all this even matters in the slightest way, the feeling of tranquillity you get, once you have had it, is all you ever need to be happy.
But congrats on your progress... I started this the other way round and am now getting more productive but it is WIP.
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I cant talk for you, but I did sort of the same thing (although in a smaller scale).
I started working hard on grades, I got in good shape, I ate better, I went for job-hunting etc etc.
But what kept me unhappy was a silly feeling that, while all this was "great" in the eyes of others, I wasnt doing it for myself so much as to get others to approve of me.
I hate getting into "line" and I hate being motivated by what others might think of me rather than what I want to do, and on top of that, I noticed that I started to replace my real feelings with what others said was "normal".
Are you sure you are doing all these changes because you want to or because u want to feel accepted by others?
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