EPTAll apartment listings are full of shit. If it has a fair (not insanely obvious, just fair) price and no phone number, it's a scam. Here's the usual email response you'll get. Basically, it's the same people reposting existing (or pre-existing) ads and lowering the price, almost always to a round number of $700 or $800, whether the price matches or not. It's always $800 or $700, followed by a short description, and very flattering pictures.
Here's the responding email:
Hello ,
Thanks for your interest about out2bedrooms,2Bath,Sip716sqftsqft family home. It is still available for rent and we would be needing a good and honest family to take care of it.
[...]
My family and I are currently in west Africa for a new job i just acquired down here with Chevron.Before we left the states,we searched for a God fearing and reputable agent to handle the rent and help us walk interested people through to have a proper viewing of the inside but we couldn't get anyone then. We left with the keys,remote and the papers.I'm willing to rent out the home to a tenant who is able to come up with first month's rent of $700and security deposit of $700.I will like him/her to assure me that our house will be properly managed.
We need someone or a family that will take good care of our home as their own property.If you can assure me that you can take proper care of our home and also you can afford the move in deposit, kindly confirm your interest by getting back to me with the below application details. Note that the house keys,remote and the papers will be ship to you by via FedEx courier service
RENT APPLICATION FORM AND TELL US MORE ABOUT YOU .
1) Your Full Name
2A) Home Phone ?
2B) Cell Phone Number ?
3) Your Full Address :
4) How old are you?
5a) Are you married?
5b) How many people will be living in the house?
6a) Do you have a pet?
6b) What type
7a) Do you have a car?
7b) What type?
8) Occupation?
9) Do you smoke?
10) Do you Drink ?
11) Do you work at Night ?
12) What is your monthly income?
13) Reference Contact Name and Address?
14) When do you intend Moving in?
15) private email :
16 ) picture of you and your family?
17) When can you pay for your deposit to
secure or move in?
Notice : Call me immediately you fill out the application
Looking forward to hear from you with all this details so that we can have it our file in case of issuing the receipt for you and contacting you..
Thanks and you are welcome.
You can give me a call
on+00917045070549 <--- PLEASE TRY HARDER
Best Regards
Teresa Pratt&Family
"God fearing" lol Is this what all the overseas scammers/newly arrive scammers think that Americans will respond to? "Oh, we just LOVE god, honey let's get this place."
He's not a full God, but you will fear him
Anyway, this isn't even the good one.
My girlfriend has gotten the following email response from about ten different listings over the last six months. I tell her to stop replying. Even in the slight chance we luck out like we did with our current apartment, I wish she wouldn't bother. Here it is:
Thanks for your email and interest in renting my house..I am the owner of the House you are making inquiry of…Actually I resided in the house with my family, my wife and my only daughter before and presently we have moved out due to my transfer from my work now in Warsaw,Poland. Presently my house is still available for rent (rent already includes utilities).More so Now, i’m currently in the (West African)for an international Christian follower’s crusade.Pls i want you to note that i spent a lot on my property that i want to give to you for rent,so i will solicit for your absolute maintenance of this house and want you to treat it as your own, It is not the money that is the main problem but i want you to keep it tidy all the time so that i will be glad to see it neat when i come for a check up.I also want you to let me have trust in you as i always stand on my word..
[...]
Looking forward to hearing from you with all this details so that i can have it in my file in case of issuing the receipt for you and contacting you…Await your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the document and the keys to you,please we are giving you all this based on trust and again i will want you to stick to your words,you know that we have not seen yet and only putting everything into Gods hands,so please do not let us down in this our property and God bless you more as you do this… The house is available for rent at the moment so you are free to move in as soon as you wish to…A Deposit of $700 (which happens to be the security deposit) is required before moving in…Feel free to call my cell or text me on ( +234-8022450935 or 011-234-8022450935).me for more information and arrangements on how to get the keys and other necessary documents delivered to you…The house will be available for rent for a period of 4 years so you have a choice of deciding how long you intend sm/property.
Thanks And God Bless You
Rickey J Ashley
A crusade? Hmm...
![[image loading]](http://www.danshort.com/crusade/b/crusade0007.jpg)
They're going to do Africa to do this?
Also, Rickey J Ashley is the worst fake name I've ever heard. Except for maybe...
![[image loading]](http://theinfosphere.org/images/thumb/8/88/Hughman.jpg/225px-Hughman.jpg)
Hugh Man
Even better, the people that aren't scamming are still full of shit. We go to look at an apartment. Nice pics, nice guy, nice neighborhood, oh wait, you neglected to tell us that this isn't really an apartment, it's a fucking basement with a 6-foot ceiling (I'm 5'11" for fuck's sake!). Wow, I have to duck to get into the kitchen? Where was this info in your ad again? Oh you want HOW much for this apartment?
We'll take it.
Then of course, the usual conversions...
"Oh babe, look at this place!"
"Hmm, where is it?"
"Everett."
"But where in Everett?"
"... Ohhh, it's on Casino Road. Never mind!"
"Oh look at this!"
"What is it?"
"It's a 1-bedroom"
"But you said you wanted a 2 bedroom"
"... Yeah, but it's so cute!"
"... And it's a few miles north of here. You were just complaining yesterday you wanted to move South?"
"... Okay, you just HATE everything! So YOU can find a place! I'm done!"
"Oh my God... "
![[image loading]](http://gifs.gifbin.com/1238157980_scanners_-_head_explosion.gif)
Women.
I'm not really concerned. We'll find a place.
Tomorrow is our two year anniversary :3
