EPTThis really struck home with me. Be less self-conscious. Back in Freshmen year(sheesh, almost juniors now) I was in musical, and freshmen year you know nobody. I'm not that outgoing of a person if I don't feel comfortable. But, I had my moments where I talked to Roxxy and some people and it was fun. I think I told Roxxy one day that she made me feel welcome, and she told me that I was really cool and it would go a long way if I just talk to people and let myself go and stop being so self-conscious.
So, apparently in unfamiliar situations I end up acting self-conscious, whatever that means. But let's consider if I didn't. Consider girl V. V is very honest about herself, what's important to her, and what interests her in class and conversation. This corresponds to being a hungarian otaku, hungary's culture, and archeology. You could argue she has transcended being self conscious since she's not afraid to talk about her eccentric interests, especially with that ridiculous laugh that you can hear a mile a way if she's amused. Yet, everyone I talk to actually despises her to a pretty large extent. You know, just general conversation people hear her name and HAVE to vent about how annoying she is. I find her a fine person, I can see where people get angry, but I recognize she means no harm. In fact, I tend to hate a lot less on people in my grade, especially the people that everyone hate(and I promise I'm not some hated person myself).
I don't fall down that path. I see both sides of the issue, especially dramatic ones. I am conscious of what others want, desire, and think. But I can still let loose and have fun. The question is: If I drop the self-conscious barrier, do I run the risk of being a V?
Consider that Day9 thread from the other day, hating on day9. Apparently, he just said talk to the hand to some caster guy. There were the standard over reactions in that thread, but really, the whole point to me was that day9 is not perfect. If you are gonna be so charismatic all the time(arguably transcending being self-concious), you will get a bad rap with people.
It's not that I want to be a people pleaser, but I can never see myself falling down that path of becoming extolled because I just opened up to people, and maybe making some people angry in the process. Maybe day9 is just V under different situations.
Am I too self-conscious? Maybe. Do I want to break the barrier? I don't really know.
