EPTThank you Ramen Thread!
I was afraid it would be groady, but it turned out delicious. :D I will be experimenting with more suggestions in the future, lol.
Here also is a random poem I wrote tonight which is probably not that good:
+ Show Spoiler +
The space of a huff of air
An infinite expanse.
So close to you is not
Close enough.
The travesty of life is to let you taste what it should be
And in the morning it is Leah you must live with.
Not that she is so terrible:
A hard working woman who has blessed you with ten sons.
But it is Rachel you wanted.
Always beside you, beyond you.
So close to you is not
Close enough.
How many more years would you work for her?
And when you win her
Was she Rachel?
An infinite expanse.
So close to you is not
Close enough.
The travesty of life is to let you taste what it should be
And in the morning it is Leah you must live with.
Not that she is so terrible:
A hard working woman who has blessed you with ten sons.
But it is Rachel you wanted.
Always beside you, beyond you.
So close to you is not
Close enough.
How many more years would you work for her?
And when you win her
Was she Rachel?
It reminded me I like writing. I felt inspired to start again. Then I felt overwhelmed by it.
When I was younger I used to write all the time. Somewhere between fourth and tenth grade I wrote 13,000 pages of novels and short stories. I finished nine books. The fact is that they are mostly bad, and sometimes just not good. However, I did manage to improve quite a lot between the time I started and the time I stopped.
I stopped for a variety of reasons-- one was that I spent more time focusing on academic preparation for applying to college; another was that I started a 10th novel over and over and just could not get past 100 pages (about 1/3 through the story); and the last reason was my father found some of my writing, was enraged that it had magic and language and deleted everything off my hard drive and took my computer privileges away.
Writing novels is sort of like running marathons. If you have never run more than 100 meters, you think-- how will I ever reach the finish line? The first book takes forever. There are many problems with it. Things that don't make sense, and you write many bad lines. The second book goes a little faster, a little more smoothly, and you plan a bit better. Over time you develop strategies, you know what to expect; you overcome the problems. You see flaws in your past writing, and you work to improve them in your current work.
Maintaining and slowly improving something is not so bad. But once you stop and lose those skills and practice, it seems overwhelming to get back to where you were. Hard work is hard, no way around it.
This brings my mind to thoughts about my current devotion, which is art. I never did anything artistic in my life until last school year. I never once took an art class, or bothered drawing or painting on my own. Last year I took Drawing I, and my teacher told me I should be an Art major. I am now, and I'm glad I am because I love it. None the less it's extremely depressing.
I cried at one of my critiques a few weeks ago. I felt (and still feel) awful about my work. I hate it. I don't like a single piece I made the entire semester in all 5 art classes. My teacher couldn't understand. He told me in a year I was already better than his other students in the class, and that I had improved immensely-- I have natural talent, etcetcetc.
It's great if other people like what I make and do, but it would be dumb to make art for other people (people are notoriously impossible to please). I am studying art for myself, and I am disappointed in myself. I don't know enough about art or myself as an artist to know what I want in my work-- all I feel is a profound lacking. My art doesn't satisfy me. Some thing is missing from it and I can't find it. The more I 'improve' the more frustrated I become with it.
Anyway, here is a 60 minute vent painting I did on the last day of school:
+ Show Spoiler +
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Qv1bN.jpg)
Anyway, back to the title-- I actually never made one of those one year blogs + Show Spoiler +
cause I'm too hipster
Mostly I just lurk around in the Automated Ban Thread, and post in girl blogs. I've met some awesome people who have laddered with me. I met awesome people who I ran into at tournaments. People were genuinely really sweet and supportive in my boy blogs. (Over all that now wewt!)
My main disappointment is that the LiquidParty LoL and DOTA2 channels don't talk. Also that HotBid never took me to Shake Shack. My prized posession is my TL shirt, signed by SHETH HIMSELF. * o *
(Random tangent, I was having a bad day the other day, so I put on my TL shirt to make myself feel better. Lo and behold, as I walked around my campus, some asian guy says to me-- hey you I like your shirt! I have never felt so badass in my life.)
That's all. :D
![[image loading]](http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y150/abahgus/0421121946.jpg)
, and I felt maybe 40 of the 130 pages were sub-par. So difficult!
