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boesthius

United States11637 Posts

May 07 2012 04:59 GMT

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Fox116

United States409 Posts

May 07 2012 05:14 GMT

Boes Fighting!

SgtSater

United States59 Posts

May 07 2012 05:14 GMT

I can relate to alot of this, and admire your courage in putting it out there. In my experience the best way to deal with this is to really not be ashamed, put it out there. Worst thing you can do is act normal and just go zombie mode for the rest of your life.

JWD

United States12607 Posts

May 07 2012 05:37 GMT

Boes, you're still that guy who dropped out of high school to tour with your band. What do you want to do now? You can make it happen.

Tiegrr

United States607 Posts

May 07 2012 05:50 GMT

Wow, your childhood experience sounds a lot like mine. I just guess it's the environment trying to keep you down that makes us want to rebel so hard. I even went through a "I'm going to be a progamer" phase a couple years back, which dropped my grades pretty hard, but I've gotten over it.

Aphasie

Norway474 Posts

May 07 2012 06:08 GMT

I dont really subscribe to the "I shouldn't feel depressed, so many have it way worse than me". To me its a lack of understanding of oneself and society in general. True, there are far worse places in the world than those we live in, but depression (if you look away from the biological aspect - which also clearly defies that sentiment) depression is a relative concept. I know, I suffer from it myself. Depression is often linked to your standing relative to others in society and yourself. Like yourself I have also felt like the "center of world" and had huge hopes and aspirations. My depression however came from myself always handicapping myself and never truly giving my 100%, just because some stupid fear of my ego being shattered if i didnt make it. And my hopes and dreams (which were unrealistic in the first place) has been my burden to bear. But i dont carry around any guilt, because i have it better than others. 3rd world populations dont carry around with them the burdens we in the west bear: The world of endless possibilities, and hence all the chances unspent. It becomes an obsession if you start thinking that way, and it never really gets better. 3rd world people have other more pressing issues which wont get solved by loitering around or thinking about it. The sense of selfcontrol and being a "master of your own life" is through and through different, so no surprise we westerners suffer more from it.

Whoever said it was a "logical" illness anyway?

flamewheel

FREEAGLELAND26782 Posts

May 07 2012 07:15 GMT

I love you Boes~

supernovamaniac

United States3047 Posts

May 07 2012 07:54 GMT

</3

jk ilu

Smix

United States4549 Posts

May 07 2012 08:11 GMT

you know you can talk to me too <3
fighting papa boes <3 <3 <3

Boblion

France8043 Posts

May 07 2012 08:26 GMT

#10

Still looks more like a brag post than a depression blog ;D

Heyoka

Katowice25012 Posts

May 07 2012 08:30 GMT

#11

For whatever reason this really hit home for me. I have a pretty serious history with depression and the same cyclical thought always comes to me where I wonder how I could be sad, because my life is (objectively) pretty easy and good, which only serves to make me more depressed about not being able to be happy. It's a really horrible circle.

For what it's worth I'll always believe in you, you're a pretty incredible dude. It can be rare to find legitimately solid guys in esports and you're one of the few genuine dudes out there.

Heyoka

Katowice25012 Posts

May 07 2012 08:33 GMT

#12

also fucking write parts 2 and 3 of this series I want to know how the story unfolds

Boblion

France8043 Posts

May 07 2012 08:54 GMT

#13

Yea also you have to tell us why you left your band / music because your story doesn't make any sense.

1- I was bored in my small town
2- I was a musician touring in the US and having an awesome life
3- I'm back to being a "nobody" and being depressed.

wtf man 2 -> 3 needs an explanation.

Th1rdEye

United States1074 Posts

May 07 2012 09:11 GMT

#14

Your past 2 blogs had Minus The Bear song titles???

UltimateHurl

Ireland591 Posts

May 07 2012 09:35 GMT

#15

Thanks for sharing boes, just remember that nobody else faces the same problems you do with the same experiences you have, so you have every right to feel however you feel. And as JWD says, you've done things to be proud of, and can make stuff happen

paper

13196 Posts

May 07 2012 10:04 GMT

#16

boes, you're my favorite customer

niteReloaded

Croatia5282 Posts

May 07 2012 10:17 GMT

#17

Wow, I never would've thought you get depressed... At least you seem like the guy who doesn't give a fuck much about other's opinions, and does what he wants.

I wish you would share what your current dreams are...

Also, IMO, it really isn't important how bad anyone elses life is.
Using an analogy, it isn't important how fast or slow a car goes, the car will feel depressed if it knows it's not going its full speed.
So, an old car going 60mph may feel great, but your lambourghini going 50mph will feel depressed because it knows it can go 200mph. Then it'd be wrong to think you 'shouldn't' feel depressed because of that old car having it so tough.

ecstatica

United States542 Posts

May 07 2012 11:30 GMT

#18

I thought this was some KINGCHARLIE parody but judging by comments OP is genuine. It ends rather abruptly with weird pictures of tight clothing and clown shoes followed by ninja turtles and a list of tunes youd play at your cats funeral, but overall was insightful.

I guess going back to school is never an option.

Sephy90

United States1785 Posts

May 07 2012 11:50 GMT

#19

That whole "there are people worse than you, you have no right to feel sad" is such bullshit. If you feel sad then feel sad it's your right. This isn't a competition for fuck sakes I hate when people give you crap like that and you too shouldn't have that attitude because it's obviously not healthy if you're really depressed.

Anyhow keep fighting it man it's all I can do for you

<3<3

HaRuHi

1220 Posts

May 07 2012 12:46 GMT

#20

Did it ever occur to you that your dad didn't support the things you did because he did not want to push you in any direction you aren't really passionate about. If you say you only did those things in first place to impress him, well, might he felt your lack of passion and wanted you to find something you can be really happy about.

Loool, but I don't know nothing about your dad, so pls don't be offended if i misinterpred what I just read, interesting it was though.

edit: yodadic-grammar-problems

mizU

United States12125 Posts

May 07 2012 14:54 GMT

#21

you're still awesome and i still lub u

mordek

United States12705 Posts

May 07 2012 19:10 GMT

#22

Takes big ones to drop out and do the touring thing. That's some serious commitment, props.

Zergneedsfood

United States10671 Posts

May 07 2012 20:34 GMT

#23

Boes you're awesome! <3 forever and ever

I hear you're coming to Anaheim? I want to see youuuu!

Lip the Pencilboy

Italy420 Posts

May 07 2012 21:17 GMT

#24

dafuq dude? you re crazy handsome!what u want more?

+ Show Spoiler +

as unappropriate as it may seem, lip the spaghettienglishboy just wanted to randomly point that out :D

KvltMan

Sweden1609 Posts

May 07 2012 22:14 GMT

#25

Jazz-hop, man. That's where it's at. Good read, as always-

OptimusTom

United States154 Posts

May 07 2012 22:45 GMT

#26

I always thought you did a really good job with your music in school. I dunno dude, if you want it, go after it. Don't let anything get in your way.

I went from random kid in a school of 1.2k+ to that kid in a band, to the nothing kid again, to top radio DJ, to nothing, to aspiring LoL shoutcaster. It is what YOU make of it, not what others make of you.

boesthius

United States11637 Posts

May 07 2012 22:50 GMT

#27

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TuElite

Canada2123 Posts

May 07 2012 23:09 GMT

#28

Wow that music, I love your blogs for it, so great! 5/5 Everything was really good, thanks for sharing it!

AnachronisticAnarchy

United States2957 Posts

May 08 2012 00:09 GMT

#29

Aren't you in your twenties/early thirties or something?
That's pretty young. You still have plenty of time to forge your own path in life. Don't feel sad about not being able to do something when you're in your physical and mental peak, just go out there and fucking do it.
To repeat: find something to do and go fucking do it.

Pull

United States308 Posts

May 08 2012 01:27 GMT

#30

Boes is the chicken to my noodles. In our apartment he was the life of the party. And in life, he is the Boss of Protoss, the best friend to all, and the person we can all trust to be there. Boes, you're the best! Don't forget it. No matter what anyone says to you, no matter what you say to yourself you are truly the best. We love you man. Carry out your dreams and live them to their fullest. Boes Fighting!

Rekrul

Korea (South)17174 Posts

May 08 2012 03:19 GMT

#31

boesthius has unreal heart

whenever ur bored and dark just think about all that manner sippin and observation of nut lows that will happen at mlg !

-orb-

United States5770 Posts

May 08 2012 07:46 GMT

#32

Boes I think I love you more and more every day

BrTarolg

United Kingdom3574 Posts

May 08 2012 08:08 GMT

#33

I spent years being depressed because i kept thinking that there must be something wrong with me, that it was selfish assholish for me to be that way, and at every turn society would tell me to fuck off

Really, its OK to be depressed, and you're a cool guy. I was never depressed around my parents because they were the only ones to tell me that i was OK, and that i wasn't this terrible person that people kept telling me i was

I always felt like "wow, i've got all this stuff and i'm unhappy, i must be a bad person" and i would beat myself up over it. It took people to tell me that its OK to be unhappy and its OK to be depressed and that doesn't make me a bad person in order for me to recover

---

Nowadays i live pretty much the same way i used to, i'm an absolute hermit, i have very few if almost no friends at all, my personality is extremely introverted and awkward, and i spend most of my time just doing my own thing
But now that i know its OK to do that, and i don't listen to the pressure of people around me telling me that i "have to" get out or i "should" do this, or that i "must" listen to the pressures of society, i'm a lot happier about it

It's only because people come up to me and say "man you got issues" or "there's something wrong with you" and they tell you that over and over again you begin to believe it. I'm cool just the way i am thanks

GL bro

Quesadilla

United States1814 Posts

May 08 2012 08:14 GMT

#34

metalcore + homebrew in a month + dat fa$hion

Zergneedsfood

United States10671 Posts

May 08 2012 15:34 GMT

#35

Boes, I think I will be going. My friends might be playing in the LoL tournament there, so yeah.

Pull

United States308 Posts

May 08 2012 23:49 GMT

#36

On May 08 2012 12:19 Rekrul wrote:
boesthius has unreal heart

whenever ur bored and dark just think about all that manner sippin and observation of nut lows that will happen at mlg !

I'm so jelly...now that I actually drink I'd have a much better time xD