EPTI began by joining in on some kind of competition of strength; problem was, I was a weakling. However, we had one sprint event in it, and I ran fast enough for my team, which consisted of me and this hulk-like guy, to tie with our opponent team. Because of this, we needed a tie-breaker, and it was something incomprehensible, but I'll try to explain it. Basically it was a chain which always went down because of some heavy weight on the bottom of it, which couldn't be seen by the naked eye, and you had to use your strength to pull yourself up on it. I told my teammate "You have to do this, I can't", even showing him by dangling pathetically on this chain, which I couldn't move one inch for the life of me.
Then, I suddenly saw InControL walk by (must've been because I watched his stream yesterday), and the scenery changed. Now I was suddenly a soldier at a castle, which had been the grounds for the competition all along, and I wasn't supposed to have entered the competition, so I got yelled at. A lot. My duty was to guard the children of a recently deceased monarch, who was supposed to have been present at the wedding that occurred at the castle, and make sure of their safety. But they were more like prisoners than visitors, as they sat inside a hobbit hole all day. So one day, after smelling the lilies at the reception & listening to the speech of grief of the monarch's closest friend, who was a dragon, I decided to show them the outside.
It all went well, except that when we got back at night, a patrol came by, and even though I tried to hide the children, they got spotted, and were immediately asked why they were up so late. I managed to save the situation by saying that they had to visit a bathroom, and the children were sternly ordered into bed. A few guards stayed outside after this, which eventually lade to an argument about how late the children should be allowed to be up, and one guard drew his sword as the scenery changed again.
(I know, right now you're probably thinking "How the fuck is this about DreamHack?" Patience. Don't be hasty...)
Now, I woke up the next morning, thinking I must've passed out in the argument yesterday, and got ready for duty. However, I instead walked up some stairs which, quite magically, led me to a large room of people. It looked a lot like DreamHack, and I went around, looking for my crewmates (since I've only ever been to DH as crew, that must've been why), when I suddenly stopped.
There, next to the bar selling nothing but energy drinks, an interview was taking place with SK. MC was there, as well as their Counter-Strike team (GeT_RighT, Delpan etc.), and I sat down, listening to it, noticing one of my female classmates in the front row (she despises eSport, by the way), so therefore I went over to her. We had some small talk, and I asked her why she was here. Her answer was this: "I don't really like things like these, but all the players are so cute, that I just have to be here". After hearing this, I turned my head towards the other side, and for some reason my brother was sitting there.
My and my brother had a jolly good time until the interview was over, and everyone suddenly moved towards some kind of mini-football court. Apparently someone had laid out a a challenge to SK in football, which wasn't a great idea, as they got trashed, because SK was, naturally, incredibly skilled at football. Every shot hit that small place between the top post and one of the the side posts (we call it "krysset" in swedish), and SK just demolished.
As the match was wrapping up, my brother picked up his phone and booked the next game, prompting me to join, but I, stingy as I am, refused to pay the 8-dollar fee to join the game. So my brother and a friend of mine was now playing, but SK wasn't, and 3 random guys from my old class back in junior high faced off against them, and it was a great match, with pressure from both sides, and suddenly the stands were full with people.
In particular there was this one person, who looked like Al Bundy, with a big-ass can full of omelet which he threw at everyone randomly. He annoyed everyone during the game, and when somebody tried to get back at him by pouring their own omelet on him, they missed and only served to fill his can even more. I wasn't particularly annoyed by this, as I never got hit. My skills to dodge flying food must be incredibly high.
After the game, I went up the stands, and noticed that Team Liquid just finished their interviews. I talked to Ret, Jinro and TLO, before the team has to leave, and the only one left is a blonde girl in the TL jersey (which is weird, as I don't think TL has neither a girl nor a blond person on their roster). By now I had spotted another old classmate of mine, whose birthday happens to coincide with my own, and I called out to him three times, but he never answered, and so I instead hit him on the head with this giant steel mug I had in my hands. NOW he responded, and we shared a brofist. Just when we do this, another old friend (who is currently playing hockey at an elite level) showed up, asking me how to do the brofist.
After teaching an un-initiated soul the intricate art of putting your fists together as a sign of incomprehensible manliness, we keep talking about old times and what has happened recently, until another team shows up. However, this team was made up of demons, and I hurried to a can of magma I had nearby, trying to pour it over them. Alas, they disappeared without a trace.
After this I woke up, drenched in sweat, thinking to myself: "That was fucked UP! I gotta write it down." And this is the result. I hope you enjoyed reading it, but don't count on more dreams being recorded, as I usually forget most of mine
/Oscar
TL;DR, only want the DH parts: Start after the sentence in parenthesis.
