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Okay I just don't know what I want in life.
Lately I've been working very hard to fix the things I was unhappy with in my life... And right now I can say I did everything I wanted to, but I don't feel as happy as I should.
1) Yesterday I had my two month relationship anniversary with a girl I love, it's still a short-time, but we love each other, we do sweet things together, we are going to get engaged next year... nothing more to it.
2) Grade 12 marks are high 80% low 90%, and my english I'm retaking next year so I can get into the engineering course I want the year after that (while working/travelling), keeping my marks high.
3) Assistant manager at Little Caesars, shitty pay I guess (school isn't over yet though, once it is I'll search for a different job).
4) Healthy fit body, been going to the gym a lot in the last year, just recently stopped due to being busy.
5) Plans for the future, backpacking with my girlfriend next year in eastern europe, and asia.
6) Lots of friends to hang out with, sunday poker night at my house with 12~ people, saturday is tie dye, trampoline, chillin' with my friends, and friday is a party which I'm going to with my girlfriend.
I dunno, on paper everything sounds dandy, more money would be nice, but besides that all my time is eaten up and I should be happy. Maybe it's the fact that I'm not doing new things to excite me anymore, I dunno what it is, it's probably a phase but I just don't know, something feels missing.
I could have some friends that I'm more close to, but it's hard for me to have heart to heart conversations sometimes, since I have nothing to complain about, and I've tried this and that, and there are very few different things for me to explore in a teenager life. I've had about every single lifestyle you can experience at this age, nothing excites me anymore, whether it's popping some ecstacy or going hiking in the mountains.
Maybe it was the desire to get laid that pushed me before, but now my girlfriend makes it so easy, that I dunno, I just have nothing to strive for, and I don't know what I want, I guess what I need is a line of thinking to follow. I don't really do anything, I'm not particularly good at any sports, I ski very well, I swim well, I have things I stand about, but nothing I dedicate myself to.
Thank you TL, I don't want this to come off as some brag blog, but I'm sure people have been in this situation and hope they can help me out.
 
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Are you in master league? If no, get there. If yes, get to GM.
There, you have goals now.
That, or get 100% in all your remaining assignments and impress the shit out of your teachers.
Do any of those and watch yourself forget about not having any stress or excitement in your life.
Seriously though, you're a teenager, you still haven't done everything, you're just looking for something to feel down about (oh no my life is too perfect). Just...go do something you enjoy, finish some work, or talk to your gf or your parents about your issues if you have nobody else who's close to you.
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On April 25 2012 14:38 Vod.kaholic wrote:
Are you in master league? If no, get there. If yes, get to GM.
There, you have goals now.
That, or get 100% in all your remaining assignments and impress the shit out of your teachers.
Do any of those and watch yourself forget about not having any stress or excitement in your life.
Seriously though, you're a teenager, you still haven't done everything, you're just looking for something to feel down about (oh no my life is too perfect). Just...go do something you enjoy, finish some work, or talk to your gf or your parents about your issues if you have nobody else who's close to you.
I was top 500~ NA at a point in Season 30, mostly hovered around 1k-2k, but I am thinking more of something that will benefit me in my life in the future. But there is so little I can do...
I have my license and a car, but it doesn't really help with anything. My marks are fine so I just feel like impressing my teachers wont accomplish much. It's just all the "same old song and dance", going to badminton, going drinking (being a couple), repetition... I suppose I need to find a hobby, but I am the person who doesn't like to dedicate themselves to something because then I feel like I'm missing out on other stuff (bad logic I guess).
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On April 25 2012 14:42 FiWiFaKi wrote:Show nested quote +On April 25 2012 14:38 Vod.kaholic wrote:
Are you in master league? If no, get there. If yes, get to GM.
There, you have goals now.
That, or get 100% in all your remaining assignments and impress the shit out of your teachers.
Do any of those and watch yourself forget about not having any stress or excitement in your life.
Seriously though, you're a teenager, you still haven't done everything, you're just looking for something to feel down about (oh no my life is too perfect). Just...go do something you enjoy, finish some work, or talk to your gf or your parents about your issues if you have nobody else who's close to you. I was top 500~ NA at a point in Season 30, mostly hovered around 1k-2k, but I am thinking more of something that will benefit me in my life in the future. But there is so little I can do... I have my license and a car, but it doesn't really help with anything. My marks are fine so I just feel like impressing my teachers wont accomplish much. It's just all the "same old song and dance", going to badminton, going drinking (being a couple), repetition... I suppose I need to find a hobby, but I am the person who doesn't like to dedicate themselves to something because then I feel like I'm missing out on other stuff (bad logic I guess).
Dude, relax. If you're feeling down about repetition in your life now, I can't imagine how you'll feel once you graduate, get a job, and work longer hours. If there isn't something you enjoy in your routine or your daily life, you could probably do activities that you find more enjoyable on a personal level (not just because they sound cool/useful/impressive). But whatever, it's grade 12, you're (probably) going to college soon, then you'll have all sorts of new things to do.
EDIT: I have friends who don't dedicate to activities because they want to try everything, but what makes them happy is always going out and doing something new and doing it consistently until they're sick of it before finding a new thing. If you're like that, either you'll have time to change, or you're just getting sick of everything and don't have any "new" thing on the horizon. Just deal with it for now, college is coming up.
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I wrote a bunch on shit like this a while ago: http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=116530
You just need to sit down, ask yourself what you really want out of life, and spend a long time thinking about how to get there. Once you have a plan for life, lit's easy to get through all the bullshit.
glgl =]
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What happened to banging 100 girls?
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On April 25 2012 15:01 n.DieJokes wrote:
What happened to banging 100 girls?
Clearly already a completed task.
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Should join AIESEC. They can help you develop skills, can go on global exchange and help you explore life to find goals and purpose. Try doing things to challenge yourself, only then will you find happiness and fulfillment
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If you can't satisfy yourself with what you have, you will never get enough.
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Just wait until something goes wrong. . . life isn't easy. When I was your age I thought nothing could go wrong either. You're not even out of highschool.
And what makes you think you are getting married or engaged in a year.. when you've only been with this girl for 2 months... do you realize that gettting married means being with that girl for 20+ years?
I think you need to learn that making plans for things in advance almost never works out
BTW just read your blog from July last year, when you said you were with a girl for 2 months... where did that girl go? :O
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Keep a journal everyday or do some meditation, this might help you to get to know yourself better and then give some clarity on what you want in life.
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infinity21
Canada6683 Posts
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Can you picture a life more fullfilling than yours? Stuff that you've maybe crossed off as 'eh, not gonna happen for me'? Are you settleing for mediocrity, even if it's a pretty nice mediocrity? Is there stuff you consider worth fighting for that would require you to put in the absolute 100% of your efforts for an extended period of time, where you still wouldn't be able to guarantee success?
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Yesterday I had my two month relationship anniversary with a girl I love, it's still a short-time, but we love each other, we do sweet things together, we are going to get engaged next year... nothing more to it.
2) Grade 12 marks are high 80% low 90%
Woah woah, hold the phone. You're in 12th grade, dating someone for 2 months, and have decided you're going to get engaged next year? Consider this. Consider this carefully. The primary reason people get married is to have children. Are you really going to want to have children at like age 20? In the middle of college? F no you dont. Second, after 2 months of dating someone you dont know crap about how things will be long term with that person. Wait until after college to marry the girl or anything.
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Dude... do NOT get engaged (assuming you're like 17-19 if you're just finishing high school). this is the biggest, most important advice i can give you right now.
a 2 month relationship during highschool is nothing signficant, especially if you're planning on going to university. my advice is to wait it out, finish your degree (if that's your plan) and then see if you still want to marry this girl because people can drastically change during their late teens to early twenties (especially when able to "find yourself' in post-secondary communities). even if this girl ends up being the one, there is ZERO need to commit to marriage this early. just have fun, enjoy each other and go from there.
-happily married (2 years marriage, 8 year relationship) guy
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Seems like you have some really weird views. Loving a girl after 2 months is a 1% occurence. 99% what feels like love that quickly is just infatuation.
But that aside, sounds like you have some really idealised life goals there and are super eager to get meet some sort of life checklist: Job, check, girlfriend, check, married, check... etc.
I dunno just sounds like you're just doing what is generally considered the right way to live life rather than finding your passion. Often growing up in a westernised suburban lifestyle we can forget that a lot of people out in the world actually follow their passion in life rather then just working, getting married and having kids while they pay off their mortgage.
My advice would be to do some soulsearching and see if there are things you're passionate about but have dismissed because they aren't the standard or ideal thing for a successful western man to do.
Also sport or some competitive activity that takes hard training is always awesome. The gym is great and all, but you don't get to beat anyone or win anything so ultimately it's pretty damn boring.
Either way you're young and it sounds like you've got a nice life. Take it slow with your girlfriend, do some soulsearching and remember to keep competitive elements in your life.
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Also as an aside, (and this isn't nearly as important as my previous message) but I *recommend* not taking off a year (if this is what you were implying by backpacking around Europe & Asia) from school
Good high school marks (for an intelligent person) come fairly easily, going to a decent college/university for a more demanding degree like Engineering will require a significant amount of more work. keeping your current "student skills" sharp and tackling your degree early will be far easier than letting those skills dull over a year of travel. the added challenge of doing well in engineering might also fill that gap of "needing goals."
plus, going in right away SHOULD lead ot you graduating faster and earning engineering pay sooner, which will let you afford much cooler trips and vacations. also, post-secondary was super fun (for me at least), its completely different than high school community wise and much easier to have a blast (parties, broader range of friends, tons of single girls around)
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EPT
