To make matters worse, I think I've played only 5ish standard games out of the last like 80 games I know it's part of the game, and I don't like complaining about it, but it just seems I can't find a standard game for the life of me. I've gotten a ton of proy 2 barracks, 2 gate in the middle of the map, proy 2 star, early expand into marine SCV allins, thor allins, and basically any other annoying build versus zerg you can think of.
It's not just that I'm getting all-inned; I can't make correct decisions or execute my builds right. I know I'm perfectly capable of playing fairly well, I know the decisions I'm making are wrong, but I can't pull it together. I don't know what to do. It's gotten to the point where I'm being put up against diamond players I've lost so much D:
People just seem to be in my head. I'll go for a muta build, they'll never send out a scout for my third, go 2 star chronoed phoeni and never show anything, just wait until I show up with mutas and wreck my shit. I know that's a super risky play, and he got really lucky guessing correctly, but that's happened like 8 times. It's getting to the point now where I just feel so much rage about how poorly I'm doing that it just ceases to be rage and turns into this overwhelming sadness and I feel so demotivated that I pretty much don't want to play at all because I know I'll just keep making the same stupid decisions and the same dumb mistakes.
It feels like I want to write more, but that's all I've got. Here's to hoping I can turn things around, it just feels so shitty to spend so much time playing and play like complete shit
Thanks for listening TL, I feel a little bit better now.