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Scene ----- Interior,
"Why is my girlfriend lying on the floor… boy look at that snarl, she does not look happy. Fuck I must be sweaty cause the bed is soaked bitch. ( because I call myself bitch in the wee wee hours of the mourning) " Heather ( obviously my girlfriend's name) what ya doing on the floor?"
"Jack, (me… duhh) you pissed the fucking bed."
"naw I'm just sweating worse then I ever have in my own life after a night of heavy drinking."
Then I looked at the sentence I just said. "Ohh…. oh shit….:" I had officially just wet the bed…. and I'm am 24 years old… oh and if that's not bad enough, it's not like I was just drunk and sleeping and my urethra opened up all by itself, apparently (because I don't remember this) I purposely took out my dick and took a piss on the bed. The bed my girlfriend was still in. She yelled at me to no avail. I was drunk. Correctly, she made her move to the floor. She knew I was retard drunk when I got back into the bed I had just pee'd on, and pulled the warm cover back over my body. But it was just sweat….. a lot of sweat. Salty ass sweat! ….Yellow salty ass sweat?…. So how did I get the point where I lie in my own piss willingly? Lets take a look,
Pretty much in a nutshell,
To be read super fast in a silly voice, (try american frezza's voice)
Last episode of Dragon bal…… Jack's life, Jack lost all of his self value after repeatedly failing college, and not real college but just community college. After which he lost his 97 civic to parking tickets. (and not grandma's civic but one with coil overs, intake ,exhaust, carbon hood, gutted, my personal car….) At the same time he lost his license due to……… and now it's not funny, it's just a person bitching about their life…. (you can stop reading in a silly voice it's going back to normal now.) well, I guess you'll just have to believe me that I made poor choices that put me a place where I no longer respected or liked myself. Which takes us to last night.
There wasn't even a point where something took me over the edge, it was simply a slow culmination of all the factors of my life that expelled themselves in one crushing night, that very much like the characters in The Hangover, I have no memory of. I went a party, more of a kick back, got drunk (wasted apparently) and went home with my girlfriend. (who drove sober cause she's awesome and not retarded) Then at home I guess I got mad at something. (checked my battle.net profile and it doesn't show a bunch of loss from drinking and gaming, a crime in many communities. So it wasn't nerd rage that unleashed the beast)
Why am I squinting to see the screen right now? Oh yea i guess I must have lost my glasses last night. sigh…… I did lose them, but not like lose like I don't know where they are lose,but like they are destroyed lose. (my least favorite kind of lose) Ha, (cause lol is lame) and I don't even know where the remains of them are. So they are lost……. and lost. (which is probably for the best since looking at my own retardeness in in the form of my own broken glasses would help nothing) Why does my hand keep trying to move an imaginary object to the right of me? Oh yea, because there use to be a mouse there. I barely remember disconnecting it last night. Another sigh… I wish that that meant I took it out of its respective usb port of my girlfriends computer, but alas it's just as you all feared. I guess I just was seeing if it would work wirelessly. It did not…
So I hyper raged (props to farscape!) and ruined a lot of my own stuff. Some by hand, but most fell to urine….. I'm so sorry teddy……I love you I fucking swear! So what are my options this mourning? Keep hating myself or move on? The choice is simply, but not easy. My girlfriend is really taking nearly getting pee'd on, outside the shower, very well. Luckily she had her trusty d20 and rolled at nat 20 to dodge the urine. The mouse was a simple mouse ($20). My glasses were old but worked ($100 new, so worth 20-60 today…. I mean yesterday, today they are lost and worthless) All replaceable things. But my girl's still here, and she's priceless. And we don't evan have a mastercard.
Here's the point where Kyle says, "But I've learned something today."
I have drinking problem and need to quit. Possessions are awesome but are not everything. The most valuable thing in this world is the loved one's you surround yourselves with. LOVE THEM! Like now, get off tl for one fucking second and call your loved ones and just say something nice. And technically if you are awesome, they won't say, "Why are you being so nice for no reason," They will simply say. "Thank you for being yourself."
Love you TL, this site keeps my going sometimes.
 
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gave this five stars. very unique writing.
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Your girlfriend is still with you after that?
KEEP HER.
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But you don't have a writing problem! 5/5'ed. Lol love your writing style. You should give fiction a try.
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I never understand how people get this far gone while drunk. There is lowering inhibitions then there is just fucking retarded. That being said you should take her out on a nice date next weekend 
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Girl is definitely a keeper. When I pulled some similar crap my fucking best friends abandoned me to suffer on my own.
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SHE MUST OF BEEN PISSED OFF.
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On February 20 2012 02:50 Coagulation wrote:
SHE MUST OF BEEN PISSED OFF.
Haha, I see what you did there
Dude, you should drink less and write more. Also I'd kill for your gf
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On February 20 2012 02:50 Coagulation wrote:
SHE MUST OF BEEN PISSED OFF.
nuh, she was PISSED ON!
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On February 20 2012 02:53 nttea wrote:nuh, she was PISSED ON!
When I first started reading, I thought: "Urine a lot of trouble, aren't you?"
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On February 20 2012 02:38 THE_DOMINATOR wrote:I never understand how people get this far gone while drunk. There is lowering inhibitions then there is just fucking retarded. That being said you should take her out on a nice date next weekend
It depends on the environment you're in. Once you're already blacked out, you're basically on auto-pilot. If everyone around you is continuing to drink, then you probably are too, and you're no longer capable of consciously monitoring how much or how fast you drink. Until your body just shuts down on you, you're free to keep going and going and don't really see a reason not to.
Oh, college, I'm grew out of your ways.
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On February 20 2012 02:38 THE_DOMINATOR wrote:I never understand how people get this far gone while drunk. There is lowering inhibitions then there is just fucking retarded. That being said you should take her out on a nice date next weekend
It depends on lots of factors, but in my experience, speed of drinking is the most relevant. I can drink a lot and feel fine, but if I drink fast, I get en bloc amnesias and huge blackouts, and once that happens, I'm totally out of control, I can continue drinking all the way to passing out.
Which is why I only drink beer now lol.
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Glad humbling experience made you feel humble, a lot of times it just makes people bitter. Try and have a nice day.
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Lol this blog is awesome, the first time I ever got drunk with one of my best friends when we were 16. We went to a party on new years, afterwards he slept over at my house, he got the floor in my room and I was on my bed. And at 3 am I couldnt sleep but he seemed asleep, he got up and started pissing on my floor. I told him to stop peeing on my floor but he kept saying shutup, and when I asked him in the morning if he remembered peeing on my floor, he didn't. I made him clean it up though 
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On February 20 2012 04:06 bjornkavist wrote:Lol this blog is awesome, the first time I ever got drunk with one of my best friends when we were 16. We went to a party on new years, afterwards he slept over at my house, he got the floor in my room and I was on my bed. And at 3 am I couldnt sleep but he seemed asleep, he got up and started pissing on my floor. I told him to stop peeing on my floor but he kept saying shutup, and when I asked him in the morning if he remembered peeing on my floor, he didn't. I made him clean it up though
People do some truly messed up shit (literally) when they're blacked out, I can up the ante from "pissed on the floor"
Guy I know spent a night at a girl friend's room while she went to her boyfriend's room after some college party, he threw up all over the room, and the next morning when he walked out the door to put her vomited stuff in the laundry, he noticed a gigantic pile of poop right there in the hallway. Swears he doesn't remember pooping in the hallway but of course it was probably him.
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good lad. i once shat the bed when i was absolutely smashed and got food poisoning it was not pretty. but yeah i know quite a few people who piss in the wrong places when drunk like sofas and down the stairs and stuff
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Congrats for seeing the warning signs. Now do something about it. glhf
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well, once I threw up right on my gf after waking up in the middle of the night after heavy drinking. can't remember anything but my sweet gf just cleaned everything up and laughed at me in the morning.
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You know, I was in a situation kinda like this one time.
My school let us go on a "mission trip" to New Orleans two or three years ago.....for Mardi Gras weekend.
Anyway to cut a long story short, we had all gotten back to the church we were sleeping in, except for the one guy we lost. He comes stumbling in about an hour later.....walks into the corner of the room and grabs a folding chair, opens it up, pulls his pants down, and just lets it fly....right onto our friends suitcase.
He woke the guy up in the morning by slapping him in the face with his piss covered sweatpants.
It was hilarious.
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United States10184 Posts
On February 20 2012 03:01 Mr. Wiggles wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2012 02:53 nttea wrote:On February 20 2012 02:50 Coagulation wrote:
SHE MUST OF BEEN PISSED OFF. nuh, she was PISSED ON! When I first started reading, I thought: "Urine a lot of trouble, aren't you?"
Genius. Lol at least she didn't get anything on her... right????
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Oh God, no nookie for you tonight sir.
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On February 20 2012 06:01 Piste wrote:
well, once I threw up right on my gf after waking up in the middle of the night after heavy drinking. can't remember anything but my sweet gf just cleaned everything up and laughed at me in the morning.
Wow, she's so nice :o
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This thread is the best anti-drinking psa I've ever seen, makes me feel so much better about the most shameful effect drinking has had on me so far (I had to make a bus driver pull over so I could puke, then I had to walk all the way to the back to get to my seat, and yes there was a bunch of passengers).
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I can just imagine you pissing on your bed with this epic look of happiness.
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she must have been so pissed off
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Thank you so much everyone for sharing your stories and reading. Heather and I are doing awesome, just sitting down to watch some limitless on netflix, thanks again.
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my friend always pee's on tables and in the fridge when he is drunk.... damn him
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On February 20 2012 02:24 tossuaway wrote:
So I hyper raged (props to farscape!) and ruined a lot of my own stuff. Some by hand, but most fell to urine….. I'm so sorry teddy……I love you I fucking swear! So what are my options this mourning? Keep hating myself or move on? The choice is simply, but not easy.
Oh my god, love this writing. What a gripping story of tragedy and redemption. Your girl is a keeper. Next time you're tempted to get drunk, remember teddy.
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the only way its possible for me to ever wet the bed is if im in a dream that shows me being in front of a toilet. tricks me everytime.
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EPT
