EPT![[image loading]](http://img.xrmb2.net/images/852036.jpeg)
had no time for the cheesy fire effect.
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![[image loading]](http://images.costume.net/british-pith-helmet.jpg)
This picture popped up on the first page of google when searching for random bloke. This bloke is actually [Team Name's best Player].
[Player One]. Because I only wrote down his name and then immediately went to a full stop, his name appears very grave and significant.
Now I will list the reasons why [Player] is so good, using a small-sized sample of [Player]'s games as well as memorable euphemisms. In order to make you, the reader, laugh, I will also make use of irony, postulating that a reason which logically has no bearing on [Player]'s level of skill gives him the edge over other, similarly talented players such as [Other Player] from [Other team].
![[image loading]](http://img.xrmb2.net/images/819690.jpeg)
]This picture proves my ironic point. Obviously, [Player] is so good that [Other Player] likes to smell his hair.
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![[image loading]](http://img.xrmb2.net/images/339604.jpeg)
This is supposed to be another random bloke, but I used a picture of my cat instead. enjoy.
[Team Name]'s second best [Player]
See this sentence? That sentence was paratactic as hell. This one too. Because parataxes prove that you mean business. Anyway, [Player Two]. He has a very specific ingame [Trademark Thing He Always Does]. I will explain why [That Thing] should, under normal circumstances, make [Player Two] lose. But because [Player Two] is rather extraordinary, he can win using [That Thing] where other players like [Player from other Team] would fail. Having exhausted my extensive repertoire of reasoning, I don't have anything of significance to add anymore, since [Player Two] is actually pretty mediocre and interchangeable. But I'll be damned before I admit that.
![[image loading]](http://img.xrmb2.net/images/930585.jpeg)
my cat is pretty lazy. This little fucker sleeps like 16 hours a day, whereas I have to labor over this shitty text.
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For lack of further pictures of my cat, I cannot post a picture of [Player Three]. I would use google again but i'm afraid of getting sued for copyright infringement of [Random Bloke]. But to be honest, [Player Three] just looks kinda asian anyway. It's not like you could actually tell [Player Three] apart from [Player Four].
Yeah okay, [Player Three] doesn't have any results. But that doesn't mean he's bad! What do you mean, my descriptions of [Team Names Players] are growing shorter and shorter? I'm not getting desperate to find reasons why [Team Name] should win instead of [Other Team Name]! Stop implying that! Just because [Other Team Name] has a just as long post which loudly proclaims the greatness o their respective players? Shut up!
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[Other Players]
I don't even know these guys. But I quickly checked up their TLPD results and apparently [One Of The Other Players] has beaten [Player Who Everyone Thinks Is Really Good]. So there you go.
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[Team Coach]
![[image loading]](http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20091114030352/left4dead/images/f/f3/CoachWeaponsRender.jpg)
Picture: related.
This coach has embezzled less money than [Others Team Coach]. I dunno, I think that is pretty commendable.
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There you go folks. This effort should explain to you, leaving not a single shroud of doubt, that [Team Name] will win [Team League]. And a day from now, you will read the respective thread for [Other Team Name] and convince yourself that [Other Team Name] will win the [Team League]. You little indecisive rascal, you.
And if you ever ask yourself where you are going with your life, remember that Surth makes even unfunnier threads than you do. You're doing okay, honest to [God].
