So I've got this brother. Or something I regard as a brother. He's my dog.
You see, I've got this dog. I've had him since I was 7. This year, I will be 21.
I've got no siblings. He IS my sibling.
When I was 7, I adopted him. He was already a few months old back then, he was a stray. That makes him over 14 today. I still remember the first day we got him. He was locked up in a cage, and when we opened the cage door, he dashed around the compound with his new found freedom.
When we tried to get him home, he refused to get into the car. He was afraid. That all changed within weeks though; he loves car rides. He's a special dog. He's not one of those dogs that mingles perfectly with strangers. He's mostly shy, and only cozies up to my mother and I. We are the world to him; and I try to give that back to him in return as much as I can.
He is over 14 today. He still has his daily walks. However, his legs are weak. He lies down almost all the time. He can't climb the stairs to visit me upstairs anymore. He can't hop into the car without assistance. I actually am the one walking him; he doesn't bring me on walks anymore.
When I volunteer at the pet shelter on Sundays, the younger dogs there remind me of his youth. What he was, and what he will never be. The sparkle in his eyes are fading, the cheeky glances and affectionate nuzzles are getting far and few.
He's old, and I am so afraid he will be gone very, very soon. I don't know how to cope with his impending death. As I relate this the tears are welling up.
He's so old. I'm so afraid.
I'm hoping to find some of you who share the same feelings as myself. Even better, someone who has gone through this. How did you deal with it? Remember, he is not just a pet to me. He is my brother, he has seen me through my teenage years and has helped me through the roughest phase in my life (believe it or not). He has been the only constant in my life that I've been able to talk to, he is the only one that I know wouldn't tell on me, and he is the only one that I know who loves me unconditionally without judgment.
My dog of 13 years just passed away about two months ago. He was a rottweiler/lab and the best dog I've ever known.
It sounds like your dog honestly still has a good bit of time, (6 months to year and a half, depending). My dog went from daily 6 mile runs when he was younger to just enjoying evening strolls, to being thrilled to go down the driveway to get mail because his legs just weren't with him anymore.
When he was in the state where he started to have trouble walking, getting up slowly and panting after only moving about the house, he still lived a good while longer, just wasn't so active.
As for dealing with it, you really just have to celebrate him and know that the dog feels just as lucky to have great owners as you do to have an amazing dog. Be with him when he's struggling, but know that he's lived a full good life and that you've done everything you can for him.
In times like this you can see the dog finding joy is the simplest things. For instance my parents are split up and he used to go back and forth with us kids house to house on a weekly basis, but then my mom got a new house and he would always be there, so my dad would rarely get to see him. When he did, the dog loved it, and played with him constantly. The day before he was put down, when we knew it was coming and my dad and I came from out of town to see him, he just didn't have energy and would lay down, not even lifting his head. Then my dad knelt by him and started to gently slap his mouth, in a playful fashion. He immediately lifted his head and started to try to bite my dads hand as he tapped either side of his mouth. It was such a happy moment for the dog, even in his state where he literally could not stand up to go to the bathroom, to just have a moment having fun like he used to with my dad, doing what they always did together. Make your dog comfortable, let him know it's okay if he messes up (goes to bathroom in the house, breaks normal acceptable behavior), and remind him of the good things, even if that means just you and your mom laying with him, reminding him you're both there and love him. And for God's sake, give the dog a feast of barbecue chicken for his final supper.
I can relate to how you feel. I had to euthanise my dog last week wednesday as he was old, filled with fatheaps, couldn't properly sit and he wasn't enjoying his life as much anymore. Also on the day we euthanised him, and what was the decider, his left eye wouldn't open properly anymore due to fluids forming around it. I felt it would've been egoistic to let him live a painfilled life. He was also my friend as he was with my for 11.5 years and was always there to play, hug or do stuff.
I coped with the idea by thinking that whatever we did was the best I could've done. Just make sure he is at ease and you'll give him the best ending of his life that you can give. If it comes to a death where he just sleeps in and doesn't wake up that is the best thing that can happen in the world. As you won't have to have to make the decision that I had to. However man, you just got to think what is in the best interest for your friend, or brother as you call him.
All I can say is that you just have to use your best judgement about what is the best. Take care.
Have fun with him while he is still here so that you know you did what you could to give him joy ^^ One of my dogs passed away last year at just 5, his skull was too tight around his brain and he had been in pain since he had matured, having occasional nerve spasms and it sometimes being painful to even touch him, knowing that you just want to give him a hug or play around with him actually causes him physical pain really really sucked so hard. And then to wake up to him just frozen and knowing he was gone was not an experience I'd wish anyone to have.
Death is always present, we're just lucky to be in good situations that avoid/delay coming to terms with it. When you do, there will always be a hint of sadness that makes you appreciate everything else.
I guess I have to focus on the good times, and be happy that I've managed to give a happy and comfortable life to a dog that would otherwise be a stray.
On the bright side, I just came back from an 30 minute walk with him. He loves his walks so much, and that's pretty much the only time of the day where I see the youthful sparkle in his eyes again.
Enjoy the time you have left with him as much as you can. Honestly no matter how things end, the only thing you will ever regret is not enjoying the friend while he was there. If you can spend 2 hours and just focus on making him as happy as you can, you will remember that moment forever and you'll have peace in your mind. It's much better than just noticing him every now and then and taking him for a walk. Whatever you think of, make it special and take some pictures as well to have a reminder.
After your dog is gone, you might want to consider getting a new one if you can. Because you won't just miss your dog as your friend but also as something to fill your time and each time you will get out of your room and look for the dog that isn't there, the pain will come back. Getting a new dog definately didn't take anything from the good memories of the first one and it brought much joy to our family.
On January 16 2012 00:29 Stratos wrote: Enjoy the time you have left with him as much as you can. Honestly no matter how things end, the only thing you will ever regret is not enjoying the friend while he was there. If you can spend 2 hours and just focus on making him as happy as you can, you will remember that moment forever and you'll have peace in your mind. It's much better than just noticing him every now and then and taking him for a walk. Whatever you think of, make it special and take some pictures as well to have a reminder.
After your dog is gone, you might want to consider getting a new one if you can. Because you won't just miss your dog as your friend but also as something to fill your time and each time you will get out of your room and look for the dog that isn't there, the pain will come back. Getting a new dog definately didn't take anything from the good memories of the first one and it brought much joy to our family.
Yeah I've thought of that.
Actually my friend's bitch just gave birth, she wants to give me a pup.
But I dunno, I guess I'm weird? I feel that it's a sort of "betrayal" to adopt another now / right after his death. Adopting one now seems unfair to him, because I think he deserves my full attention in his twilight months. I may do it after he's gone, but even so, I don't know if it does justice to his memory, if you know what I mean?
Man, after reading my last paragraph I realise how weird I am. But that's just how I think :/ I know he's just a dog at the end of the day, but I guess he's really much more than that to me.
And yeah, the point about photographs-- so important. However, I'm the sort of person to avoid looking at photographs of happy memories. Like that of my grandmother. I was very attached to her, but looking at photos just make me sad
You're not wierd. We also waited 2 or 3 months before getting a new dog. I don't know if that long is necessary. Either way, once you get the new dog and you begin to see how different they are from each other and you can't really see it as a substitute but rather as a whole new friend.
From what I gather, your dog really likes you - remember whenever you feel sad or angry and he tries to make you feel okay. He'd rather see you happy with a new dog after he's gone than "honoring" his memory by being miserable about him going away. You should definately only buy a new dog once you feel like you're ready though, so no pushing there.
Just keep in mind that there is the option that you will have a new companion, a different one, and you will love him just the same as the older one. And that there will be no sort of clash between the two. The new one will fill the hole that's left after your old dog and you will only be left with the happy memories of you and your older friend.
Aw Sounds like you gave him an awesome life though, and he's dying at a healthy old age. That's really all anyone can ask for in a pet! It really is ironic, though, how everyone always emphasizes when you're getting a pet how long of a commitment it is, but then at the end of their days, it just seems way too short.
I understand not wanting to get a puppy now (I know that a puppy is a great way to drive an old dog crazy, haha), but if you get one after your current dog dies, the "betrayal" feeling will go away pretty fast. There's no conflict at all in missing your old dog while loving a new dog just as much.
On January 16 2012 00:29 Stratos wrote: Enjoy the time you have left with him as much as you can.
This please
I still remember the day we got her, 9 years ago. It was my first day of 5th grade, and i woke up to a ruffling of my bedsheets and a licking of my face haha. She loved me ! I'm in my third year of college now. My brother and I don't talk often, but one day he texted me saying 'Jake.... Dixie is in the hospital..." And then when i got the phone call from my dad two days later I already knew what was happening (shit, it is hard to type this even). And it was all the more unfair I was over 200 miles away not to see her go. It was just one month ago she passed.
Don't miss that last chance to give him a hug, tell him you love him and whatnot.
This is my second time losing a family member, we lost Roxy back when i was very young (2nd grade maybe?), and I think my mom cried for 2 days straight. It's ok to be afraid. It happens to all of us
As for getting a new puppy, give yourself 2-3 months, then take some time to think if you're ready for another one. You won't feel like you're betraying anyone. If you gave him your love and care, you should NEVER have that feeling.
I'll try to reply again later if i stop tearing up every time i type a new sentence
You know, you guys are helping more than you can imagine. Thank you so much, all of you, really.
I know the feeling, comprissent Knowing that something can love you so much, really makes you smile doesn't it?
I have another question. For those who have suffered loss, for how long did he stop walking (my dog still walks for at least 30 minutes every day) proper walks before he/she passed away?
Our dog stopped walking suddenly and when we went to the vet he told us that she has cancer all throughout her body and that she could probably only live another few days.
You can't figure out anything on your own and the vet won't be able to give you a clear answer either. Once your dog is in pain, it's the time to let go and it's not such a hard decision when it comes to it, if that's what's bothering you.
On January 18 2012 22:57 theBALLS wrote: Guys I need to bump this:
My friend's bitch just gave birth to 6 puppies. She wants me to have one. Should I take it?
Only if you're not just doing it to look for a replacement. You have to keep your old dog in your heart and make a place for the new one in it.
There's nothing wrong with making another dog happy, as long as you don't forget your brother .
Shortly after the death of my first dog we got another one. I will never forget him, though, and my new dog gets just as much love as my old one. This isn't weird at all.
Appreciate your dog, and remember the good things. Pain will come, but it will also go away. You gotta have to give it time, though.
On January 18 2012 22:57 theBALLS wrote: Guys I need to bump this:
My friend's bitch just gave birth to 6 puppies. She wants me to have one. Should I take it?
Only if you're not just doing it to look for a replacement. You have to keep your old dog in your heart and make a place for the new one in it.
There's nothing wrong with making another dog happy, as long as you don't forget your brother .
Shortly after the death of my first dog we got another one. I will never forget him, though, and my new dog gets just as much love as my old one. This isn't weird at all.
Appreciate your dog, and remember the good things. Pain will come, but it will also go away. You gotta have to give it time, though.
Of course a new dog isn't a substitute. It's another dog altogether.
However I don't know if I should focus my attention fully on my brother now. Should I?
Got my dog when I was 2, and we had to put it down when it was 16. Slept with me every night for 10 years. It's hard, but eventually you could see it was too hard/painful for her to live. Surprisingly I never really cried, and I just smile thinking about the good times I had with her.
Hopefully when I get my own dog after I've settled down it'll be as awesome as she was.
On January 18 2012 22:57 theBALLS wrote: Guys I need to bump this:
My friend's bitch just gave birth to 6 puppies. She wants me to have one. Should I take it?
Only if you're not just doing it to look for a replacement. You have to keep your old dog in your heart and make a place for the new one in it.
There's nothing wrong with making another dog happy, as long as you don't forget your brother .
Shortly after the death of my first dog we got another one. I will never forget him, though, and my new dog gets just as much love as my old one. This isn't weird at all.
Appreciate your dog, and remember the good things. Pain will come, but it will also go away. You gotta have to give it time, though.
Of course a new dog isn't a substitute. It's another dog altogether.
However I don't know if I should focus my attention fully on my brother now. Should I?
If I was going to die and leave a loved one behind, I would like to get to know who's going to take over me and take care of my loved one.
I don't believe in animal communicators, but if you do, this might give you some insight?
EPT
