EPTA million questions that I can answer, yet I only choose to answer a few. Thousands of things to accomplish and only some make it. Why? I ask myself things like these more often than not lately. I always have this decent sized list of 10-15 items that I’m going to do when I get bored. I’m going to makeover a website for close friend, ladder and analyze my games more often so I can make it to masters in Starcraft 2, finish registering for spring classes and so forth. Ok, some of them I kind of need to do regardless. My point is, I always have the ideas, the ambition to do something but I don’t really see it through to be done. This post actually was one of the things on my list to do and I’m finally getting around to it weeks later. Basically I just wanted to spout some words about why I want to be famous.
Power. I’ve always had this fascination with technology and how things work. Ever since I could remember I’ve always been grabbing ahold of something techy and trying to figure out how it works and goes together. Currently, I am a undergrad working towards My B.S. in Computer Science, and then a Masters (I’m getting there one way or another) in Computer Science with a concentration in information security assurance. I get this adrenaline, this thrill from being able to control how people interact with things. I don’t mean it to be in a sadistic or criminalistic (is that even a word) way. Networking was a big thing for me going through middle school and high school. Not the kind of social networking that most people would talk of, but actually networking of different devices and computers. Security was the highlight of my passion. The thought of how powerful hackers were and the things they could do by only pressing buttons behind a screen seem like that of the powers of a super hero.
I get this excitement out of people using my “things” and it came in phases but has always remained. It started with web design. I took a few classes on XHTML, CSS, Flash, A touch of java and the general web design languages. I loved people being able to use something I created, and they can only use it the way I made it. The thought of being able to have a website like Team Liquid that hundreds of thousands of people visit regularly is the epitome of this self-diagnosed complex I have. Even taking the notepad that we started learning web design in and finding out about notepad ++ and the awesome features it had over just notepad gave me thrills. The whole people using my “things” didn’t just apply to websites though. Diablo 2 and Warcraft III were the games I played the most during this time and my big fix there was setting up “Bots” for clans and people to use, especially with hosting dota games. (Ghost++ http://www.codelain.com/forum/) was always needed by someone and I loved giving them my service for free, but the catch was that I controlled how it functioned even though I tailored it to the needs of the people I was using it for. After Ghost++ I did other things like Diablo 2 servers, Ventrilo Servers, Minecraft servers etc. I wanted people to use and want to use my stuff. I loved figuring out how the software worked and how I could tweak it to suit my own needs. Even just playing on windows 2008 r2 and installing multiple systems at the same time and “deep freezing” gave me nerd chills.
I’ve made a million and one websites over the years, some actually somewhat impressive and others just plain and pathetic but none of them ever really ended up being used because there was never a need to use them. They were mostly just guild websites for WoW or other small things like that. Currently the thing that keeps bugging me is streaming. I really want spend a couple 900-1200 bucks and get a nice desktop to stream starcraft 2, Dota 2, and other games I play a lot. The problem is I know I am just streaming because I want people to use my stream but the reality of it working out is actually pretty slim. Sure maybe after a bit I’ll get more viewers but nowhere near a number of satisfaction.
Maybe its not a need for people to use my things, but a need to be needed. Maybe I just want someone to need something for me, so I can feel important. College is depressing after all. The bullshit that you have to go through when transferring (I lost so many credits….) or the stupid classes that are “required” but somehow not related to anything you will ever be doing.
To stop a long post from being even longer I’m going to go ahead and wrap this up, hopefully I’ll be back to post again soon and I know I’ll check this thread a million times hoping someone will read it when that’s not even my intention. I want to be needed teamliquid. How do I do that in the way I yearn for.
Until next time….
Jon A.
