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The Dispensation of Life and Death

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LonelyIslands Canada590 Posts November 14 2011 05:02 GMT #1 The dispensation of life and death.. I am really unaware as to what direction I wanted to take with this blog post, I honestly just felt like writing. I've been a Paramedic for about a year and a half now, I've seen life come into this world and I've seen life exit this world, peacefully and violently. Does it bother me? Yeah, sometimes. I knew going into this profession what I was in for, what the possibilities were. I don't think a lot of people really understand what the profession entails unless they are in it or associated with it. We see things that people probably shouldn't have to see. You know those nice medical shows on TLC where you can watch open brain surgery and everything looks all nice? You can turn the TV off and forget about it almost immediately. When you open a door, and that metal taste fills your mouth and that smell fills your nose only to find someone who has placed a shot gun or rifle in their mouth, just so, while sitting in a chair and leaning forward to pull the trigger and arrange an almost artistic pattern on the wall and ceiling of flesh, bone and brain. This is something that you don't close the door and forget about almost immediately. Then.. there's that calm. A calm that always seems to be there, no matter how violent or peaceful the soul has exited this world. All that remains is a corpse, pallor mortis, algor mortis, rigor mortis, livor mortis.. it will happen to us all eventually. We will all become that corpse, the body that has no soul, no life, left in a way that portrays our last actions, what we were doing when death came and took us. That calm always seems to be there, I've always managed to sense it. Whether the person decided to overdose, freeze, jump, shoot, hang or if it was medical, something out of their control that took them, in the end, all that is left is the calm. It's really hard to explain, and it's not the same thing as when you go to the funeral home and say your good byes to a relative. It's the termination of life, abruptly and uninterrupted by others. I guess you might not know it until you experience it. Do you ever wonder? Why someones time was up, what factors pushed them over the edge and if it was meant to be because it was their time to go? We live out our life and die at the end, maybe its because individually we were all allotted a certain amount of time in this existence and maybe those people who check out are people who were recalled early. I'm not saying that this is fact, I'm not saying this is what I believe, but its thoughts that have crossed my mind when trying to make sense of it all. What about you, the reader. Have we shared any of these thoughts? have you had any different ones of your own? We live in a world where religious beliefs are vast and varied among the populace. I'm not saying one of them is right, I'm not saying any of them are right or wrong, I'm not asking you to believe in God, the Devil or anything in between, but do you ever wonder? Where does the dispensation of life and death come from? Is there order? Is it random? Will I be recalled? I guess I've rambled enough for now, it's been a long week with work and what not and I catch myself wondering, wondering about these things that we will never really have the answer to..

ilovezil United States4143 Posts November 14 2011 05:20 GMT #2 I posted this in a previous blog of yours, but man, your username just fits way too well with your writing. I felt this eerie sense of solitude while reading, myself, although I'm not sure if that's what you were aiming to achieve. I don't know...I think death is a subject that's too deep for anyone to fully perceive, seeing how no one actually experienced it. You have the burden of knowing what death entails, which is probably why you're able to draw out the sad emotions taken from your post. I feel personally that death is a something one shouldn't mull over too much, but perhaps learn to accept one day. It's difficult I know, and even presumptuous of me to say it, but that's all I can really say about something that's so beyond me. You have my regards though, for working in a profession that is filled with death. Also, find a peaceful hobby that you can enjoy!

Black[CAT] Malaysia2589 Posts November 14 2011 05:38 GMT #3 What a coincidence of this blog post... Today I'm celebrating my brother's birthday, who has died 3+ months ago. And I always wonder of this as well. By calm you mean empty right? That's what I experienced.

Newbistic China2912 Posts November 14 2011 08:48 GMT #4 Great blog. Very introspective view into your career. And great post by ilovezil too, I'd also vote that a 5/5 if I could.

Pandemona Charlie Sheens House51435 Posts November 14 2011 12:37 GMT #5 Very nice strong worded post. I too have wondered many times if its a specific time scale your body has at birth or if there is many numerous external factors thats predict when your time is up. Also, i have always been fascinated by those paramedics and there lives, they have tough tough tough jobs, like you have explained. Its not all just helping give birth, its death and illness you see more off. It must be a hard job but sometimes rewarding of course. Great post again.

LonelyIslands Canada590 Posts November 14 2011 21:22 GMT #6 I love my job, I wouldn't change it for the world. Thank you for the kind words regarding my blog post.

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