EPTI have 4 active players on my Friends List, 2 are buddies and 2 are other Zergs whom i met through ladder matches and never really talk to. Ultimately I understand that laddering at this point is futile, every victory is a silent reaffirmation of my abilities, every loss is an indictment on my lack of experience. There is no GSL notebook, there is no Pro-coaching, there are no days full of 1v1s, honing my mechanics and tweaking my strategies to compliment my play and ascend the ladder. I learn more from custom games against the computer than real matches against my "equals". They are not my equals, i just know how to capitalize on a stronger players mistakes.
To get better. A non-gamer would never understand it. They never looked up chain combos on gamefaq.com. They never MF ran Act 3 Hell. They get killed by the same camper in Crossfire then crawl to bed and fuck their girlfriend. Like another woman will solve their problems.
And ultimately this is why I'm beginning to blog, because I like to write, I don't mind losing, I have limited play time and the words come out better after $30 dollars worth of beers at Croxley's and a frustrating drive home to nothing but a fast computer and nothing to do with it. Because too many drugs have left this brain unable to tell this heart that That Girl might not be the stupid self-centered bitch she sounds like. For once I crave the attention. The attention I crave is from those who play a game that is too hard for them. Aphetto.406
Tomorrow is a Halloween party, I'm dressing as a chef because I already own that outfit, I wont be online. Saturday I'll be hanging out with the only other waiter at my restaurant, we're going to a Halloween block party, he never played and doesn't care about StarCraft, he has children and a wife and a schedule. Needless to say I wont be online. Sunday I'll be covering at the sister restaurant to the one I manage Monday through Friday. No breaks, cheap shithead customers, and 12 hours later I'll be too tired to remember my second overlord.
It's all there in front of me, it's screaming "This is not the game for you!" My life is calling me, but I turn a shoulder to it, because I want to become great at SC2, I want to move to Korea, ALONE, and be mediocre, because im 5' 10', 205 lbs and this is the only Sport I have a chance with. So if you need some cannon fodder, get at me, I love losing.
