Was going to call it singularity but I figured this would get more views.
I don't care anymore. I'm locked in here and will soon begin attracting flies. None of my dreams come true. This is just the latest in a series. I've had it. I just want to sleep life away now. I wanted to be a quantum physicist - no. I wanted to be a writer - no. Stand-up comic, work for the ASPCA, electrician, no, no, no. Latest and final dream was wanting to be a pro gamer. Of course, no. People tell me to keep practicing. Do you people even read what I write? Practice doesn't help. That's not the way my brain works. I can't learn alone. I can't go get lessons; I can't afford the prices the pros charge and everyone who's offered to mentor me for free has NEVER GOTTEN BACK TO ME. Get it? It's over. Done. DONE. I can't do anything with my life because I'm too messed up in the head and I need too much attention. Which incidentally is the reason I just broke it off with Michael; I can't be with a kid who's still in school. What am I some kind of girl? Apparently.
I should probably move and go eat something but I can't be bothered. I should probably take my medicine but it doesn't help anyway...I need more than people can give me. So in the end I'm just basically wasting space aren't I...huh. The cats at work sure don't miss me. Dennis was biting me anyway. Biting me after I saved his life. Babe will find another lap to sit on. Max and Cubby are probably really sick but nobody listens to me there anyway, so what difference does it make if I'm gone...none.
I'll never be a pro-gamer. Simple as that. And that single fact has essentially devastated my life; made worse by the fact that people just don't get it. And when I say they don't get it I mean they REALLY don't get it. Not one person who's ever responded has put up anything helpful. If you're going to say anything to me, take note of this.
To think I thought I had talent...
No I'm still not listening to anything because I can't be bothered to.
Dude, give up. Your attitude is completely wrong, trust me. You can never be a progamer if you think you can't improve by yourself and that playing doesn't make you better.
On September 17 2011 05:46 ReketSomething wrote: Dude, give up. Your attitude is completely wrong, trust me. You can never be a progamer if you think you can't improve by yourself and that playing doesn't make you better.
On September 17 2011 05:46 ReketSomething wrote: Dude, give up. Your attitude is completely wrong, trust me. You can never be a progamer if you think you can't improve by yourself and that playing doesn't make you better.
Isn't it obvious I already have?
You gonna make smug remarks at everyone who posts in your whine blog?
EDIT : I wouldn't coach you personally either. You have a bad attitude.
it's fairly boring when you just give up on yourself before you even try. "thats not the way my brain works" is just plain wrong. everyone learns after practice, you have just never actually gotten down into the mud and done hard work. prove me wrong.
I'm available for PM at any time if you need to vent or want advice. I have a lot of fears and I am moderately severely depressed myself (probably a 7.8 on a 10 scale) so you know where I'm coming from. I have a suggestion. Please listen to this music. I listened to this song and many others of a similar feel for the better part of a year and it helped me get back to the good life for a month or so.
And please do talk to me if you need an "anonymous" ear... I'm actually quite friendly and I give what I think is good advice, but I don't follow my own. Is that why I'm still alone in this dark room typing to you?
Nobody became a famous writer or stand-up comic or physicist (an important one anyway) because they woke up one day and decided it might be fun. They did it because it was in their nature to do these things, they did them naturally, for fun you might say, and then they applied themselves because they were compelled to and their enjoyment increased with their knowledge.
So if you want to become great at something, you need to find the activity in which quitting is not an option.
Nothing worth having in life ever comes easily, and giving up is the only way to guarantee that you will fail. Working your ass off day in and day out without ever giving in to those feelings of self doubt everyone experiences is the only chance we have in life.
People tell you to practice, practice, practice because it's the only way to push yourself that level. As a human being you CAN learn on your own or else you wouldn't have even made it this far in life. The only thing stopping you are your own mental barriers. This isn't just the case for your pro gamer venture, but also for your other career interests. Never is there someone holding your hand the entire way telling you what you need to do. The hardest part is finding the courage and confidence to push forward on your own.
What do you love above all else?
Do that. Never look back and to hell with the people who tell you that you aren't good enough. Even if that person is you.
lol to be honest I dont know why I am responding but let me just explain that I have been in LOW LOW shit in my life, i may be older then you I am 25. Let me explain that life is hard no matter what, the world is a bitch on the rag, and people dont give a shit about you or me or anyone. With all that said, anything is posable these pro gamers put in so much time and effort to be pro gamers its not even funny. If you have put in 10 hours a day on top of work , on top of school , on top of your every day life then you can say I QUIT. BUT I dont know if you have ... you have to realize that being a pro at anything takes so much time when i say TIME i mean TIME. This game is still so new that in 4 or 5 years the people we think that are pros now wont be pros in that time. I know what its like to be mad at this fucking game lol i know maybe more then you about being mad at life or depressed , if I explained the bad things in my life u would probably say "how are you alive" lol My point is venting on here wont help because there are going to be so many dicks on the internet but I guess you have to vent somewhere because holding it in is bad also. I am not gonna tell you not to give up , or keep going. Because as I said there is a passion for this dumb game that you wont give up , you will just keep playing no matter what. So if u do give up then no you dont have what it takes to be a pro gamer. BUT in 1 or 2 days when ur back on sc2 then maybe that will change. Your comment on Practice doesn't help makes no sense... ask any pro in anything how much it does help. Its practicing RIGHT that makes it easier not practicing wrong :D GL If you are a Protoss player then I will watch a few of your replays and really give you tips PM me on here. I am a Masters Protoss player that will really help if PMed.
Is this a troll thread? Or does the OP actually believe that he can become (list profession here) in just a few weeks of half-assed trying?
Reality check man. Maybe you're used to getting everything easy without having to try - but that doesn't work for important things.
edit. "Talent" only gets you so far no matter what you do. I'll take someone who isn't "talented" but who works hard any day, because they will be good at what they do and will realize their goals.
I mean starcraft 2 is just a game :| why treat it as anything more idk, for pretty much 99.999999999% of us thats all it will be so its silly to believe its a dream unless you're a child or willing to devote your life to it, and with your attitude its closer to the former imo.
but reading your post history i think you need to go outside and do something else, and fyi it doesnt matter if you don't listen to me because in the end i dont care either
Hey man, don't give up so easily on your dreams! If you can't be a pro gamer, maybe you could be the next Husky?? Also maybe if you're having trouble finding free coaching, you could try getting some paid coaching! make a little extra money mowing some lawns and get some paid coaching from high league players!
There are a lot of ways to support e-sports or have Sc2 as a major part of your life (even if its not your livelihood)! So follow your dreams! <3
On September 17 2011 06:38 Gnial wrote: Is this a troll thread? Or does the OP actually believe that he can become (list profession here) in just a few weeks of half-assed trying?
Reality check man. Maybe you're used to getting everything easy without having to try - but that doesn't work for important things.
edit. "Talent" only gets you so far no matter what you do. I'll take someone who isn't "talented" but who works hard any day, because they will be good at what they do and will realize their goals.
That's not true... He's well on his way to being a pro-whiner. Even complaining that his cats don't miss him? lol are they supposed to wag their tails? Most cats bite as a way of playing, mine does anyway.
Obviously becoming a progamer takes an immense amount of both work and talent, but I'm wondering what's keeping him from becoming an electrician lol....
Sorry but you actually want help, you wouldn't write a blog being sad unless you did. You need to stop listening to other people and just do whatever you want to do. Saying you can't is just an excuse for being scared of failing at something. Guess what, you have to fail to become better at anything in life. Keep on keepin on. Life's a garden, dig it.
You had delusions of grandeur. No offense, but I don't know why you would think you had talent based on what I have read from your previous blogs.
You should be happy that you've finally had a reality check. Otherwise, you'd probably be a megalomaniac.
You're a casualty of this new western esports culture. Everyone plays video games. But now some people are seeing people play video games for a living. And more importantly, it looks easy to them. There are probably many reasons for this, but one right now might be because the pay is bad and the interaction between a pro and his audience (ie streaming) is high. And from that they get delusions that they can do it as well, simply because they enjoy playing video games too, or because they play in a closed sphere in which they are at the top.
You need to accept the fact that you probably won't ever be a progamer, but also realize that it's inconsequential to your future. I won't ever be a professional basketball player. Would I like to be one? Probably. Do I still play basketball and have fun anyways? Yea.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be an ice cream taste-tester. I liked ice cream. Now, that I'm older and smarter, I see how impractical that was. I realize that not only do I not want that job, I probably wouldn't have been good at it anyways.
Just play Starcraft. Enjoy Starcraft. Do you play other sports and think, "oh I want to be a pro, and if I can't make it, I'll never play again"? No, you don't. They are games. If you're not having fun, you shouldn't want to be a pro anyways. If you are having fun, keep on playing.
Take some time for yourself away from starcraft, we all need breaks. Don't think you have to revolve your whole life around being a pro gamer, and constantly playing a video game trying to make a profession out of it. Take a breather.
I just don't understand how anybody that's in the lower leagues for an extended period of time could even think they have a chance at being a pro gamer.....Simply confusing.
depression is a bitch and this will sound so cliché, but you have to focus on the little things and try to enjoy whatever you can in your current state of life.
May I ask how long you've been playing? Pro gamers were as bad as you, for a long time. It takes years to get to their level, they didn't give up, so NEITHER SHOULD YOU! Fighting!
Also, don't bank on trying to be a pro gamer as your career, have a back up plan.
On September 17 2011 05:35 OmiDeLta wrote: I'll never be a pro-gamer. Simple as that. And that single fact has essentially devastated my life; made worse by the fact that people just don't get it.
I don't even know what to make of this besides the fact that it's probably the most deluded thing I've seen on TL in quite some time.
I breakdance, but people say im shit i go pick up girls and people say i have weird taste i go play starcraft and everyone calls me bronze i stay in school and people say im gonna fail
i didn't listen, and now im pretty decent at everything
EPT
