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Hey guys! I haven't been on TL for the longest time.. almost a month I think and boy do I miss the community..
I guess I'm just writing this as an update to anyone who cares and also just for myself to read in words how my life is going so far after my incident with a relationship I thought I had...
http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=245125
There's a link that leads to one of my lowest points of my life, haha.. I remember it being one of the scariest times for me as I really did.. or.. still do love the girl in my story.
For a while I did get better since the last blog, I was going out and having fun and even going on dates with other girls but.. at the end of the night when I was about to sleep, the girl I was in love with was still the last thought in my head before I went off into dream land.
She was still texting me every night, saying goodnight and what not and actually to this day, she still doesn't know how much this has hurt me so I was able to act cool about it and just reply casually until one day I thought I was over her.. and I just stopped replying completely...
After about 5 days of ignoring her texts, she just stopped sending me any messages at all.. I went on for about 2 weeks of thinking that I had moved on but one night I just missed her so much, I didn't know what it was but I tried contacting her.. and she wouldn't reply..
Even though I had better judgement and I knew I shouldn't have, I started chasing for a response from her and eventually got one but it was a very short answered one..
Sometimes she replies with short answers or doesn't reply at all. It must be so easy for her I think haha.. because she was the one who didn't want this relationship with me..
I thought I was going forward but really, I've just been going sideways.. I've been in relationships good and bad before but this girl.. she really is a major story in my life.
I've gone to the point where I've voluntarily went to seek out professional help at my university. I'm in the process of booking an appointment and I hope that I'm able to accept this and move on with my life.
A friend told me that.. as cool as I want to seem about it, it's just not healthy. Even if it's good to act like I don't care in order to show her that I'm not all down and out, it's me keeping a secret that is actually really keeping me... This secret that I'm keeping, about me acting as if she hasn't hurt me is actually preventing me from moving on..
I'm also in the process of hand writing an actual letter to her.. because I haven't had any form of closure.
I can't believe that I am actually going through this.. but instead of denying it, I hope that in the end, it'll help me move on and make me a stronger person..
But guys? I love her with all my heart and soul. I truly do.
Thanks for all your private messages and support so far guys. It really means the world to me.
-J
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i read the links you posted. although i cant relate personally, i hope everything turns out for the best man
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Separations are definitely rough. Even though she wasn't your girlfriend she was a part of your life that now, for a lack of better words, is gone. I agree that closure is an important thing, but I think you should really wait on sending her something. You also have to decide if your letter is your closure, or just an attempt at getting her back.
Be honest with yourself. Writing stuff down always makes me feel better when I am in a bad spot. If you are feeling really bad you can always send me a venting PM.
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I've actually been through a very similar situation.
I hid behind an email tho, and the best part was that... eventually... you get over her (in my case it helped that she got a bit large, and that I moved away from the city and found sumone else... Back now see her regularly, no issues, tho she still acts a bit strange when I bring up the new chick in a convo... )
Like, it sounds lame, but closure helps, and sometimes it helps to get it however u need to (without an axe in hand... !!!! )
Good luck.
Also, PM if u want to chat. Its prob not the exact same thing that you had, but it seems similar, and us computer geeks need to stick together 
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When you are willing to love someone as intensely as you claim there is the risk of break up and withdrawal.
I went into depression when leaving a messy and deeply involved relationship. I have a friend that became depressed after apostatizing (from Christianity) and has slowly recovered.
The more time you invest, the more it takes to recover many times. You also talk about the danger of trying to get back what you have. Although technically possible it is a very dangerous game to play.
Be smart (best advice I've ever been given lol ~~)
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Know how you feel, When I broke up with my girlfriend i made stupid decisions for maybe 3-4 months.
But you should be telling yourself that this will pass.
And when it do you'll going to get a adrenaline rush of happyness. Hope you will do better soon dude, this is heartbreaking to read
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I was going to give you a huge story about this girl that I wanted to date (and felt very strongly for at the time) but it ended up being a huge mess that kind of made me sad lol.
But the gist of the story is make sure she knows what your feeling. Maybe not all at once (for example, I LOVE YOU, IT HURTS ME INSIDE WHEN YOUR NOT HERE), but something NOT subtle and eventually ask her out and make it clear you want to date her. If she turns you down with something like "I'm sorry I'm busy", ask her about another time, or another, but if she says no, that's it.
Big lesson being, don't leave yourself with what ifs/regrets.
Also another good lesson, every girl will seem like the one and only. But trust me, the next one will be the one and only as well and the one after. It really does suck ass though, GL.
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For me, it took a good 4-5 months before I could say I was "over" things.
It's not healthy, and realizing that is a good step, but really I don't think there's anything to do about it, per say. You just have to slowly realize the truth and until then....honestly, it was like I woke up one day and realized that it was time to buck up and move on, and I did. I was miserable for a long time before that but when you finally get it back together you'll know for sure.
Something that definitely helped alot was one night I sorta "lost it" and we had a talk. I pretty much told her what was going on, and what I needed to hear to be able to move on. She said it and I think that was actually a big help. I won't really forget that one, "You're an amazing friend, but understand that if I still wanted to be with you, I'd be with you. I don't feel the same way you do, and wishing I did won't make me." Got the job done.
GL man.
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I am currently in this situation as well, wish I knew how it long it took, guess its different for everyone
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Hot damn you're sad as hell! I read all your blogs and I can't really relate since I haven't had any feelings for a girl in the longest time that and I don't get out of the house much. It's good to see that you're getting a tad better? Anyway stay strong! Send me a PM if you'd like, don't hesitate :D :D
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Hi! To beat a heartbreak you shall always remember to
1) Watch new boobs
2) Watch them again
3) See if you remember some of them
4) The memory of the loss of those two bouncing things seems to vanish.
5) Success she is a hoe that does not want a relationship with you. Why would you want one with her when I can promise you, if you did great with her, talk to her friends. And a new pair will appear and scream of your touch.
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Down the road, everything of the past will become cherished memories, just keep an optimistic outlook towards things to come. Also go out a lot with your friends and enjoy life.
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EPT
